View Full Version : World Record Thread
Tyrannicide
2004-09-20, 01:09 PM
Woot.ace >>> woot.killed
There your gone. Anman is in a deep hole.
Anman
2004-09-20, 10:51 PM
Oh.. Deep hole?.. hmmm.
Lenny
2004-09-22, 02:02 PM
Who likes who? Who likes who????
Gotta love deep holes. Like pits. Gotta love pits. If there weren't any pits, people in the pits would have to use the dumps and be down in the dumps instead. Wait, they are. OMG!!!!!
Anyway, deep holes. Pits. Horrible rulers used to have snake pits. And scorpion pits. And rat pits. And prison pits. I wonder if the poor rulers had them all in one. Saves a lot of space you know.
Lenny
2004-09-23, 09:01 AM
Anman is in a deep hole.
Why's he in a deep hole? I was too preoccupied with the giving out of cobbler to notice.
PureRebel
2004-09-25, 12:06 AM
i havent been in here for 998934749357899485 days! woo im bored.
Tyrannicide
2004-09-25, 02:59 PM
Nigger..........
symnzXx
2004-09-25, 03:26 PM
fuck off, faggot.
KagomJack
2004-09-25, 04:34 PM
Bite me ye little asstrocious bitch :D
PureRebel
2004-09-25, 04:47 PM
Fight bitches, you know you want to.. DO IT!! I COMMAND YOU!
KagomJack
2004-09-25, 04:51 PM
Oh nay, I am sick of you >.< DO YOU NOT SHUT UP AND POST INTELLIGENTLY?
Or at least something a level above stupid? >.< GAAAAAAAAAAH!
:D I know I'm stupid, but at least I post something that isn't 100% stupid sometimes :D
what was I talking about? RIGHT! KEG PARTY AT MY HOUSE!
PureRebel
2004-09-25, 05:17 PM
who??? Waah?
Lenny
2004-09-26, 03:23 AM
But I don't know where his house is. I know where I can find America but where's Kagom's house? ARGH!!!!
KagomJack
2004-09-26, 08:24 AM
That's something no one on Zel knows :P
Tyrannicide
2004-09-26, 09:22 AM
Except.........no wait, your right..
kill destroy spasms ends post
Lenny
2004-09-27, 10:32 AM
Yay. I was right. Go Lenny. Go Lenny. Go Lenny. Go Lenny. You know what, if I was gay, then at this moment I would be dancing like spiderman in PureRebel's sig.
Kuja`s #1
2004-10-01, 10:28 AM
I personally am shocked! I thought mj would've totally infected this thread. Lee still on top, though. Don't lose heart Mj! You can do it! Yeah!
Oops! Forgot sarcasm tags!:)
Lenny
2004-10-01, 12:08 PM
Can I infect the thread? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease???
Namisha
2004-10-01, 07:29 PM
um... hi ppl i'm new here :)
Namisha
2004-10-01, 07:30 PM
so what do we do on this website some one plz help me
-=Rico-GP=-
2004-10-01, 11:54 PM
You DON'T post here.
-=Rico-GP=-
2004-10-01, 11:55 PM
Kagom Your Sig Is Broken!!!!!!!111
==Nit5u4==
2004-10-05, 09:39 AM
Woooo Dsg Dsf Sdf Gfds Fsdgfsdgdfxgfdgdgdfgdfgdfgdfgdfg
Lenny
2004-10-05, 10:38 AM
gfdgfdgfdgfdgfdgdgdfgxfdgdsfgdsF sdfG fdS fsD gsD ooooW
wiggulsworth
2004-10-05, 01:51 PM
do iget psot points for this?
wiggulsworth
2004-10-05, 01:52 PM
and why the fuck is the curerent date 1952 or is it the page?
Thanatos
2004-10-05, 01:53 PM
...IT'S THE PAGE NUMBER! ..retard.
wiggulsworth
2004-10-05, 01:59 PM
do iget psot?is that how uhave os manyy;io
kockblocker1
2004-10-05, 02:39 PM
Sorry, I missed my last Jibberish as a second language class. Can you please translate that last message for me?
Tyrannicide
2004-10-05, 02:40 PM
Nigger Nigger Nigger Iggern Ggerni Gernig Ernigg Rnigge Nigger
kockblocker1
2004-10-05, 02:42 PM
Keep posting and it will be 1953!!! baaaaahh we are going back in time, only to go foward again when a new page of posts are created..
KagomJack
2004-10-05, 03:11 PM
it's actually from my German movie I'm writing.
wiggulsworth
2004-10-05, 03:25 PM
ok chruser said osmeone puked dopamine on my thread i was jwust wondering wh othat was?thnx to u he closed it u ashholes u frekain sucxkk.
Kaneda
2004-10-05, 03:28 PM
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm Dopamine, I usually try to keep mine down as much as possible so it wasnt me...........!
wiggulsworth
2004-10-05, 03:31 PM
wth is dopamine?
KagomJack
2004-10-05, 08:29 PM
I thank God many times when I see this guy's name and the words "Banned" is below.
Lenny
2004-10-06, 12:48 PM
You know what, I think I'll translate Wig's jibberish. I gotta degree you know, goes with my line of work. Hmm, let's see:
do iget psot points for this? = Do I get another Post point for this?
and why the fuck is the curerent date 1952 or is it the page? = And may I ask, why is the current date shown as 1952? Is it just me, or is it the webpage?
do iget psot?is that how uhave os manyy;io = Do I get Post points for this? Is this why the people on here have so many? Er...io? Prob ;D can someone help me? This is doctorate level jibberish. Anyone any ideas???
ok chruser said osmeone puked dopamine on my thread i was jwust wondering wh othat was?thnx to u he closed it u ashholes u frekain sucxkk. = OK. Chruser said:
Has someone puked Dopamine on this thread?
I was just wondering what it was. Thanks to you he closed it. YOU ARSEHOLES!!! YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK!!!
wth is dopamine? What is Dopamine?
It is so satisfying correcting retards. You lot ought to try it sometime.
Shame Mr. Wig's banned. I had fun translating his jibberish. How long he banned for? I think once he's back, I'm going to reply to all his posts with the proper ENGLISH translation. I may also put in an AMERICAN translation if he uses the very rare words such as neighbour, or colour, or favourite.
kockblocker1
2004-10-06, 01:07 PM
Man Lenny, remind me to cheat off you come next Jibberish exam.
Lenny
2004-10-06, 01:10 PM
I'll send you my course notes if you like, you can start revising now. Get a head start.
longevity =100%
2004-10-06, 04:21 PM
Lenny
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Kuja`s #1
2004-10-07, 07:49 AM
All intelligence and purpose has been drained from the WRT. This is a dark day in humanity.
Tyrannicide
2004-10-07, 01:27 PM
All intelligence and purpose has been drained from the WRT. This is a dark day in humanity.
A who and the what now?
All I see is Kuja saying some random useless shit.
KagomJack
2004-10-07, 05:17 PM
btfw, lawlz, omg, teh butt seck><0rz
also, it's "Gibberish" not "Jibberish"
kockblocker1
2004-10-07, 05:37 PM
It is what ever way I wish to say it.
However I want to spell it correctly then yes, Kagggom is correct.
KagomJack
2004-10-07, 06:17 PM
i is not a zagggon double :)
i is a spelling nazi :D
Lenny
2004-10-08, 01:35 PM
OK mr. Jack. Gibberish it is.
Apparently longevity=100% is a wiggulsworth guy, but even I can't make that make sense. What the fuck was he saying?
Gimme time and I will work it out.
So you're a spelling nazi? Lucky you. They kinda threw me out when I became too good for them. Now I'm nomadic. Floating from forum to forum looking for people to translate and spell. Oh well.
Hmm, german. I speak some German. Let's see:
Frau, frau...Mrs.
Luge........erm......luge, luge, LIE!
Mrs. Grauman: That is a lie! My grandson...
leibt...love
mich..me.
Mrs. Grauman: That is a lie! My grandson loves me!
Klaus: He loves you not!
he..would
she...you...sooner dead person when still something see.
He would still rather see you dead than anything.
Can't be held off killing you, held = heigt. Erm...
gehalten --> past tense halten = hold .'. held.
Ich habe __________ gehalten. I have held ________
Totung = killing
ihn = him
I have held him off killing you at some oppurtunities.
And you
wissen = know
And you know _________
zutreffen = to be correct
ist zutreffend = is correct>
dass? das? = that
was = (of course, stupid Lenny) what
And you know, that
sage = saga
And you know, that what saga I, is correct.
What? That doesn't make sense. Lenny! *slaps wrists*. Rewrite it Lenny.
Erm.... saga's are storis, legends.
Hmm, blah blah blah, that what legend I,
And you know, the legend what I, is correct.
Argh, brain melt.
Klaus: He loves you not. He would still rather see you dead than anything. I have held him off killing you at some oppurtunities. And you know, the Legend that I am is correct.
She has his diaries? You have his diaries, his journals, you know
No...sie haben...they have
gerade = straight
gelesen = past tense lesen = read .'. read
Ihnen = (to) you
liege = lie
dass ich nicht zu = that i not too
dass ich nicht zu Ihnen liege = that I would not lie to you.
sie wissen gerade gelesen = you know straight read
hmmm, I'd guess: you know damn straight?
So altogether it is:
Mrs. Grauman: That is a lie! My grandson loves me!
Klaus: He loves you not. He would still rather see you dead than anything. I have held him off killing you at some oppurtunities. And you know, the Legend that I am is correct. They have his diaries, his journals, you know damn straight that I would not lie to you.
Shit, my brain hurts.
Woah, that's a lot of work.
Well, Mr. Jack. Was I right?
Lenny
2004-10-08, 02:13 PM
You know what, I can just imagine this scene.
Mrs. Grauman: Late 40's, early 50's woman --> married young, had babies young, kids grew up and had babies young, now they are grown up, grandson is 11 year old pyscho.
Klaus: Suit. Some kind of government worker.
Scene: Pouring rain, night time. Mrs. Grauman standing at one end of....place --> grassy area, Klaus at other end with umberella -> standing next to his parked car.
Mrs. Grauman is soaked to the bone, screaming at Klaus.
Hmm, what you calling this thing you're doing Kagom?
ScamAlot
2004-10-14, 12:25 PM
Omg Pwned!!!!!!!
ScamAlot
2004-10-14, 12:26 PM
Omfg So Madly Pwned!!!!!!!
KagomJack
2004-10-15, 05:16 AM
that was sorta fucked up my friend, but for the most part good :)
Mrs. Grauman: That is a lie! My grandson loves me!
Klaus: He loves you not. He would still rather see you dead than anything. I have held him off from killing you at some oppurtunities. And you know, that what I say is correct. They have his diaries, his journals, you know damn straight that I would not lie to you.
that's the full bit.
KagomJack
2004-10-15, 05:18 AM
ok, at that point, Klaus is in his car, calling up Frau Graumann, trying to find out where her son is. He wants to kill her son because this is a revenge story. It takes place throughout Europe.
KagomJack
2004-10-15, 05:18 AM
and it's just called "Deutsch Film" because it's a movie i'm writing for German.
Lenny
2004-10-15, 01:18 PM
I like it so far.
Wow, I actually got most of it right. I'm surprised. Oh well.
Hmm. I wonder...should I or should I not translate your current sig into German?
Anyway, How come you've changed your sig???
http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888 http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33888
KagomJack
2004-10-15, 04:32 PM
I changed it because I liked this. I might change it later. But no need to translate my current sig to German :)
xWolfPack69
2004-10-15, 11:40 PM
What don't you want to call a black person, starts with a N end with a R, what is it?
xWolfPack69
2004-10-15, 11:40 PM
What don't you want to call a black person, starts with a N end with a R, what is it?
What don't you want to call a black person, starts with a N end with a R, what is it?
KagomJack
2004-10-16, 07:15 AM
Howdy boys and girls, and welcome to Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
Lenny
2004-10-16, 12:34 PM
Why hello there.
KagomJack
2004-10-16, 05:31 PM
Hello thar, butt secks? lawlz.
KagomJack
2004-10-16, 08:59 PM
lawlz yo :D
my mom is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a big ol' bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls :D
Tyrannicide
2004-10-17, 09:44 AM
Want to tell us some more old info?
Tyrannicide
2004-10-17, 09:45 AM
WHAAAA???A?A?A?A?A?A??A?seadjtfsad gsthgtryts
r y trsyhr hjsh tghseoijgfhfaeh
hhhfjsarajgdj gifjaaaaaagfgjskdfkdjfka vFSSA
f safA FDSAfawg
Lenny
2004-10-17, 01:59 PM
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac
Yo momma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials
Yo momma's so fat,
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
Yo momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please
Yo momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate
Yo momma's so fat,
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
Yo momma's so fat,
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma's so fat,
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama so fat,
that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
Yo momma's so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama' so fat,
she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo momma's so fat,
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo momma's so fat,
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo momma's so fat,
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo momma's so fat,
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo momma's so fat,
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
Yo momma's so fat,
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo momma's so fat,
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
Yo momma's so fat,
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo momma's so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo momma's so fat,
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo momma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo momma's so fat,
her picture takes two frames.
Yo momma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Sorry. Great oppurtunity. Couldn't miss it.
KagomJack
2004-10-17, 04:45 PM
For every "Yo mama's a bitch" joke made directly at me will earn you one USD.
Lenny
2004-10-19, 11:13 AM
Yo momma's a bitch? 1 USD. What about 1 GBP???
Whatever (USD/GBP) your on.
Lenny
2004-10-19, 11:15 AM
One so far:
Yo mama such a bitch, she interned for Clinton.
kockblocker1
2004-10-19, 11:20 AM
Yo momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Best one out of the bunch. :haha:
Lenny
2004-10-19, 11:24 AM
He he. Gotta put these in:
Yo momma so fat, her waist is bigger than her IQ.
Yo momma so ugly, I could only tell it was a face 'coz of the ears.
Yo momma so fat, that when she went out in a yellow coat, the schoolkids shouted "The schoolbus is here!".
Yo mamma so fat when she tries to roll out of bed in the morning she rocks herself back to sleep.
Yo momma so ugly, that when I went to the zoo, the zookeepers said thanks for bringing the bitch back.
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma's so fat, she used the interstate for a slip, and slid.
Yo momma's so fat, The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn".
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world.
Yo momma's so, fat she plays pool with the planets.
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes!
Yo momma's so fat, her feet need license plates!
Yo momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!
Yo momma's so fat her Highschool picture is taken on airfoto.
Yo momma's so fat, when she ran out into the road in front of me, I tried to swerve round, but ran out of petrol.
Yo momma's so fat that after sex I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
And that's enough for today.
KagomJack
2004-10-19, 05:33 PM
yeah...I fucking lied about that :D
Lenny
2004-10-20, 09:46 AM
Aww...so I don't get no USD???
Lenny sad. Lenny go sniffle in cup of coffee now.
Mantralord
2004-10-20, 02:22 PM
send nekked pix
KagomJack
2004-10-20, 06:15 PM
bend over bitch, you're mine now!
Lenny
2004-10-21, 09:54 AM
I'll Fight you for him.
timmay1113
2004-10-21, 03:05 PM
yeah if your going to fight for him.... you might as well die
KagomJack
2004-10-21, 06:29 PM
you can have him!
timmay1113
2004-10-21, 08:19 PM
or you can all die
KagomJack
2004-10-21, 08:29 PM
stfu and give me pleasure.
timmay1113
2004-10-21, 08:57 PM
would you mind me shoving a gun up your ass and shooting you so you die
Lenny
2004-10-22, 12:41 PM
Can I????
Oh, oh. 4 question marks. Not a good day.
KagomJack
2004-10-22, 03:42 PM
Guns are too cold =(
Lenny
2004-10-24, 09:21 AM
Oh well.
How about a big stick???
Lenny
2004-10-24, 09:28 AM
The First Book of Lenny...
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny...
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas.....
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny.....
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
[U]The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
----------
Any ideas for Book 9???
Lenny
2004-10-25, 05:27 AM
Das erste Buch von Lenny..........
Und Gott sagte: "gesegnet seien Sie die Gross-Nasen."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und Gott betrachtete unten Lenny und sagte: "wohl hat
er eine grosse Nase."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und der 27.schüler, George, gesagt: "wie ein Krokodil."
Und Gott sagte: "ich weiß einen Witz über Krokodile."
Und die [ 58 ] Schüler sagten: "erklären Sie uns."
Und Gott sagte: "ein Mann ging in einen Stab und fragte den Kellner: ' tun Sie Alligatorsandwiche?' Und der Kellner sagte: ' ja.' Und der Mann antwortete: ' OKAY dann, erhalten Sie mir ein Alligatorsandwich, und bilden Sie es schnell.'."
Und so wurde der erste Witz des Alters zum zuverlässigen gegeben.
Das zweite Buch von Lenny..........
Und Lenny sagte an die Masse: "und Gott kam zu mir in einem
Traum und in ihm [ erklärt ] zu mir der zweite Witz des Alters. So
wiederhole ich: Ein Mann ging in einen Stab und sagte: ' WAS DIE
BLUTIGE HÖLLE??? WELCHEM WENIG STICHEL SETZTE DIESES HIER???'."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und die gesegneten Gross-Nasen wurden Märtyrer gebildet.
Und kam so der zweite Witz des Alters.
Das Buch von Thomas..........
Und Thomas sagte an die Leute: "ich bin Gott."
Und die Leute beteten ihn an und bildeten ihn Gott und errichteten ihn Bügel und
kauften ihn Kuchen.
Das dritte Buch von Lenny..........
Und Gott kam an Lenny in einem Traum und [ gab ], an ihn
Richtungen für den dritten Witz des Alters.
Und so reiste Lenny zum Bügel von Thomas, aber der Kuchen prüfte zu viel für ihn, so anstatt er ging zum wenigen Bügel von Tom in dem [ er ] gefunden dem dritten Witz.
Und so sprach er zu der Masse: "eine Sumpf-Nase, ein Fischhändler und eine etwas dumme irische Person sassen auf einer Brücke das Mittagessen essend. Die Gross-Nase öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-Haar Sandwiche und sagte: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Der Fischhändler öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-Fleisch Sandwiche und sagte: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Und die etwas dumme irische Person öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-turd Sandwiche und sagte in einer etwas blöden Nachahmung einer Stimme der irischen Personen: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Am nächsten Tag, hatten alle drei Männer die gleichen butties wieder und warfen sich folglich weg
von der Brücke. An ihrem Begräbnis sagte eine gemeinsame Angelegenheit, die Frau der Gross-Nase: ' ich verstehe sie nicht, Kamel-Haar war sein Liebling.' Und die Frau des Fischhändlers sagte: ' ich verstehe es nicht, Kamel-Fleisch war sein Liebling.' Und die etwas dumme Frau der irischen Person sagte: ' ich verstehe es nicht, er bildete seine eigenen Sandwiche.' Und die Leute lachten.
Und man sagte: "was ist eine irische Person?"
Und Lenny antwortete: "ich werde gebummelt."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und so wurde dem dritten Witz des Alters gefunden.
Das vierte Buch von Lenny..........
Und Gott kam [ an ] Lenny in einem vierten Traum und deckte den
vierten Witz des Alters auf.
Und Lenny wurde gehört, um zu murmeln: "ha ha, Dom die Endlosschraube." Und Lenny lachte sich zum Tod.
Und so beendet dem Vermächtnis der Gross-Nase.
Und folglich wurde der vierte Witz des Alters nie wieder durch Todlippen gesprochen.
Und die Leute mußten ' mit Danny anstatt sich zufriedengeben der Ingwer '. Und folglich beendet das fromme Alter der Witze.
Das fünfte Buch von Lenny..........
Und Lenny kam zu den Gattern des Himmels.
Und Str. Peter erklärte ihm, daß die Dämonen des Himmels unten gegangen waren mit Erde zu bedecken, um ihn zu suchen.
Und Lenny gesagt: "Dämonen im Himmel. Ha. Ein Paradox in einem Paradox." Und Str. Peter verstand nicht.
Und Str. Peter fragte Lenny, was er bedeutete.
Und Lenny gesagt: "ignorieren Sie mich, ich sind abschweifend."
Und Str. Peter gezuckt.
Und Str. Peter recieved eine Anzeige durch L-Post.
Und Lenny gesagt: "ich wußte nie, daß sie hatten Blitzpost hier."
Und Str. Peter gesagt: "Neue Befestigung. Unterhaelte auf Störung Formstürme unten erhalten zwar."
Und Str. Peter las die Anzeige.
Und Lenny las die Anzeige über seiner Schulter.
Und Lenny ging Weiß.
Und Str. Peter grinste.
Und Str. Peter betätigte eine Taste und Lenny ging zur Masse zurück.
Und Lenny war in seinem Bett.
Und die Dämonen des Himmels standen um es.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen gelacht.
Und folglich reincarnated Lenny.
Und die Dämonen des Himmels quälten Lenny für das Beleidigen des neuen Gottes Danny.
Und sie hafteten brennende Stifte in alle seine Haarbohrungen.
Und sie brachen alle seine Knochen mit einem Teddybären.
Und Lenny war in den intensiven Schmerz.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen grinsten und quälten ihn mehr.
Und Danny schaute unten vom Himmel und sagte: "dieses gefällt Danny." Und die Dämonen grinsten.
Und sie quälten Lenny.
Und sie zerrissen aus seiner Zunge mit einer Gabel.
Und sie luden seine Nachbarn rüber für eine Partei ein.
Und die Nachbarn trashed sein Haus.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen überzeugten Freundin Lennys, mit seinem Bruder zu schlafen.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen quälten Lenny mehr.
Und sie zerrissen geöffnet seinen Magen.
Und sie brannten seine internen Organe.
Und sie füllten seine Innere mit MinuspH Säuren.
Und sie nähten ihn Unterstützungs wieder.
Und Lenny noch einmal gestorben.
Und folglich beendet der Folterung von Lenny.
Das sechte Buch von Lenny...........
Und das Reincarnated Lenny wurde erklärt, daß minus pH unmöglich war.
Und Lenny argumentierte mit Herrn Bob.
Und Herr Bob gab Lenny eine Chemielektion.
Und Lenny gelacht.
Und Herr Bob sagte:"OKAY dann intelligenter Arsch. Bilden Sie a - pH Säure." Und Lenny gesagt: "OKAY, ich Wille."
Und Lenny ging herauf den Treppe TP das Chemielabor.
Und im Labor, konnte Lenny a bilden nicht - pH Säure.
Und Herr Bob lachte.
Und Lenny lief heraus in einen Ärger.
Und Lenny stand auf einem ziemlich großen thumbtack.
Und das thumbtack haftete in seinem Fuß und Lenny hopped herum und versucht, ihn heraus zu erhalten.
Und er hopped in Richtung zur Treppe.
Und Lenny fiel hinunter die Treppe.
Und er fiel hinunter einen Fußboden.
Und dann andere.
Und ein Third.
Und er fiel auf ein armes orphan Mädchen.
Und das arme orphan Mädchen brach seinen Fall.
Und Lenny war aber von einem ziemlich großen thumbtack noch in seinem Fuß unharmed.
Und so war es das, das das sechte Buch von Lenny war.
Das siebte Buch von Lenny..........
Und dann stand das kleine orphan Mädchen oben.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und das kleine orphan Mädchen, das "Sie Arschloch Sie gesagt wurde, fiel auf mich".
Und das kleine orphan Mädchen fuhr zum smack fort, das im Gesicht lenny ist.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und dann starb Lenny einen schrecklichen Tod und niemand gingen zu seinem
Begräbnis.
Und dann wurde Lenny zur Hölle geschickt.
Und er verbringt alle Ewigkeit dort für seinen Stupidity.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Das achte Buch von Lenny..........
Und so wurde Lenny in der Hölle gelassen.
Und seine persönlichen Dämonen quälten ihn.
Und sie bildeten ihn Getränk -pH Säuren.
Und Herr Bob erschien und erklärte den Dämonen weg für das Verwenden eines impossibilty Systemtestes.
Und die Dämonen zuckten und quälten Herrn Bob anstatt.
Und Lenny entgangen.
Und es gab viel Ächzen.
Und Herr Bob entging.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und Plantum erschien, gereizt durch die Schokolade.
Und Lenny bildete ihn in drei Stäbe.
Und Lenny gab Wilma die drei Stäbe von Plantum.
Und so kaufte Lenny die Rechte zum siebte Buch von Lenny..........
Und er warf eine HausPartei.
Und er wurde in die Lache geworfen.
Und er erhielt naß.
Und dort freute viel sich.
JRwakebord
2004-10-28, 11:22 PM
Good lord, I remember the early days of this thread.
PureRebel
2004-10-29, 05:21 AM
i can remember when it was up 2 page 62X
JRwakebord
2004-10-29, 11:59 AM
Didn't Chruser actually get pissed at us once for this thread?
Lenny
2004-11-04, 10:39 AM
And what were the logics behind him getting pissed???
wilma
2004-11-07, 11:42 AM
hahaha you should all read up on how this whole thread started, it started kinda like this
wilma
2004-11-07, 11:44 AM
hahaha you should all read up on how this whole thread started, it started kinda like this
Lenny
2004-11-07, 02:24 PM
this like kinda started it, started thread whole this how on up read all should you hahaha
platnum
2004-11-07, 03:28 PM
D2 thread!
platnum
2004-11-07, 03:29 PM
flagulence
wilma
2004-11-07, 03:29 PM
D2 thread!
yah but i meant by the double posting and repeating of posts but yes this thread does prove that all stupidity emerges from the d2 section
wilma
2004-11-07, 03:39 PM
The First Book of Lenny...
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny...
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas.....
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny.....
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
[U]The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
----------
Any ideas for Book 9???
wtf where u get the time to write this shit
wilma
2004-11-07, 03:40 PM
you're one stupid kid lenny
wilma
2004-11-07, 03:41 PM
I wonder how many ppl actually realize that posting in here doesn't count for your post count
platnum
2004-11-07, 03:57 PM
Everyone knows, I think.
Lenny
2004-11-08, 10:29 AM
Its just on of those things that everyone knows.
----------
I find time when I need it. Read the German version. That took a bit of time. Can't think of anything for Book 9 yet though.
Bad x Ass
2004-11-12, 03:17 PM
Hi guys/gals, im new to the community, just thought i'd say hello :cool:
Lenny
2004-11-13, 01:45 PM
:cool: olleh yas d'i thguoht tsuj ,ytinummoc eht ot wen mi ,slag/syug iH
----------
HA! Gals is Slag backwards.
Lenny
2004-11-14, 09:14 AM
BOOK 9 IS UPON US! AND IT HURTS! OW MY TOE!
----------
The First Book of Lenny..........
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas..........
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny..........
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
[U]The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Ninth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.
----------
Coming soon to a Forum near you:
Zelaron gets its own back against Lenny --> The First Chapter..........
Lenny
2004-11-16, 10:24 AM
And so Lenny makes his tenth appearance, and his final farewell:
The First Book of Lenny..........
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas..........
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny..........
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Ninth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Tenth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny ran until he was away from the funeral.
And so he ran some more.
And he came upon a horse and cart track.
And the horses and carts trotted by.
And some amusing music could be heard playing in time to the trotting of hooves.
And Lenny stepped cautiously into the track, lest he should be run over.
And Lenny muttered to himself: "10 mph. Too damn fast I told them, but would they listen? No? They'll be sorry when they are covered in swelling limbs and rather colourful bruises in the shape of future American President's heads."
And Lenny stood in front of a cart.
And the horse was going too fast (7 mph), and could not stop in time.
And Lenny hijacked it.
And he trotted off.
And the driver caught up with him and punched him.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so Lenny walked to the next town.
And he bought a new house with no floor.
And so he went to the floor tile shop.
And bought some floor tiles.
they had holes in them.
And so Lenny returned to the shop.
And he asked to see the manager.
And manager Mantralord came and spoke with Lenny.
And he took him into the back room.
And there was much screaming.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny came out.
And he was pleased.
And so he went home.
And he fell through his non-existent floor.
And so he died once more.
And so he went to hell once more.
And so he was tortured for [B][U]ALL eternity.
And he wasn't heard from again.
And the people rejoiced one last time.
And zagggon was happy.
And so were the members of Zelaron.
And so ends the Ten Books of Lenny..........
The one books of kaos
Fuck you.
Shining Knights
2004-12-05, 05:56 PM
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Lenny
2004-12-07, 10:41 AM
The one books of kaos
Fuck you.
The descriptions in this book are immense. They are mind-blowing. They put my over-active imagination to the limits and beyond. I commend you on that.
The story-line was one of the best I have read in years. It kept me on the edge of my seat for so long, that I eroded it to a point. I have had to get a new seat.
One little problem. The dialogue could have been better. The conversations were poor at their best. They were too fast-moving and the statements were as obvious as, say, Mantra's open gayness.
All in all, i give this splendid piece of literature a 7/10. Well done. It will be a long while before I can read anything again, and appreciate it's goodness.
What's this? Lenny wants a final final appearance. Here goes:
The Eleventh Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny appeared for a final final appearance.
And so he put up his middle finger.
And showed it to Kaos.
And told him: "Why don't you go play hide and go fuck yourself? Motherfucker!"
And so Lenny left For Good.
KagomJack
2005-01-02, 12:15 PM
Why, this place is dead ;_;
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-05, 02:51 PM
It has been a really long time since sum1 posted here since u, i just noticed that
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-05, 02:54 PM
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mother mother fuck fuck mother mother fuck fuck mother mother fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
KagomJack
2005-01-05, 02:58 PM
no shit jacemo!
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-05, 06:13 PM
helloooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooo ooooo
KagomJack
2005-01-05, 06:33 PM
YOU STUPID FUCK, YOU AIN'T NO BAD MAMAJAMA!
I hate you and your little dog too.
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-06, 07:27 AM
Fuck You You Fucking Nigger Loving Cock Sucking Son Of A Bitch :)
undeadzombieguy
2005-01-06, 07:42 AM
Wow, last time I posted in this thread was on page 1678, little over a year ago. :wierd:
Lenny
2005-01-06, 10:03 AM
1678??? It's gone down??? Wtf???????????
Lenny
2005-01-06, 10:04 AM
Shit, that meat grinder is sick...............
undeadzombieguy
2005-01-06, 10:46 AM
It currently has 1956 pages showing for me. Maybe you have it show more posts per page than me?
Lenny
2005-01-06, 10:51 AM
I don't know....I got 978 pages with...40 posts per page.
-Spector-
2005-01-06, 08:35 PM
I have no secks.
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-07, 07:32 AM
im up to 1956 pages as well
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-07, 07:34 AM
school really fucking sucks.
User Name # 1
2005-01-11, 04:22 PM
Good lord, I remember the early days of this thread.
Do you ??
I do too!!!!!!!!!
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-12, 07:26 AM
i dont remember the early days of this thread!!!!
KagomJack
2005-01-13, 07:30 PM
hello, check out my site! http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/kagomjackk/sbbh.html
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-14, 07:38 AM
what if i dont want to?
i_screwed_ur_ma
2005-01-14, 07:39 AM
has anyone else ever seen NoNoNoNoNoNo and then nearly vomited like i?
KagomJack
2005-01-14, 03:32 PM
has anyone else ever seen NoNoNoNoNoNo and then nearly vomited like i?
I hate you <3
RoboticSilence
2005-01-14, 05:09 PM
What's up UN#1 and JR?
Jessifer
2005-01-14, 07:55 PM
......Boo.
This post contains significant content...because I say so.
KagomJack
2005-01-14, 08:16 PM
Hey, it's Jessifer! <3
Jessifer
2005-01-15, 08:12 PM
Sadly enough...My computer needs to be reformated, so I can't get on until my brother does it. Which will be...in...aah...I have no damn idea. It may never happen.
Sad, no? No, it's not. Kinda funny, actually. Haha...ha...
KagomJack
2005-01-15, 08:14 PM
ah, that sucks :/
Lenny
2005-01-16, 03:46 AM
Why's it need to be reformatted???
Surely you can work around the formatting........so as not to do it?
Lenny
2005-02-01, 11:54 AM
I think I killed off this conversation slightly...
Kaneda
2005-02-01, 12:08 PM
You tend to do that. Am I not a senior member because of my inactivity? Surely I've been here longer than some of the senior members I see, not that I care much, just wondering.
Lenny
2005-02-01, 02:06 PM
Its a curse...
How could this thread have more posts than it does views..?? Do people post in here without even knowing or what?
Lenny
2005-02-01, 02:32 PM
I don't know...curse again?
Lenny
2005-02-01, 02:33 PM
Wait...it shows 39,138 replies and 39,139 views on mine...or numbers like that...the views is one more than the posts...
on mine its showing like 39,000+ posts and like 6,000+ views
Lenny
2005-02-01, 02:55 PM
Well...one of them is screwed...the other isn't...
Lenny
2005-02-01, 03:05 PM
I'm a betting that...yours is screwed...
Lenny
2005-02-01, 03:08 PM
But that will have to wait till tomorrow...I can sense my comp is about to crash on me...ooops...starting...bugger...
Yep...that was me...I haxed ur comp.
Kaneda
2005-02-01, 08:28 PM
Looks like just one more thing is added to koas' list of owned. Poor poor Lenny...he was a good lad.
Lenny
2005-02-02, 10:55 AM
You know you've made it in life when people say you were a good lad...
Lenny
2005-02-02, 11:07 AM
Well...it hasn't seemed to killed me off...YAY!
Tyrannicide
2005-02-02, 11:12 AM
Possibly merged threads? The number of views was added the the forum way after the thread was started. (a feature added much later)
Tyrannicide
2005-02-02, 11:15 AM
Mine shows 1 more view than posts made.
Tyrannicide
2005-02-02, 11:15 AM
sumthin like 39,149 posts, 39,150 views.
Lenny
2005-02-02, 11:17 AM
Same here.
Kaneda
2005-02-02, 09:42 PM
I just had the same thing happen w/ Mjordans, This should be on bash.org
Says theres 7 posts, 2 views.
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:35 AM
ill help yall out with this
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:35 AM
cause im new
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:36 AM
and i love spamming about nonsense
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:37 AM
and i still hav only 9 posts
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:38 AM
...and i stil only hav 9 posts
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 11:38 AM
...and yet i still hav only 9 posts
Deathnamu
2005-02-03, 03:31 PM
guess who has 10 posts now....
Lenny
2005-02-04, 12:08 PM
I'm a wondering if you have realised that your post count doesn't go up if you post in this thread...you sound like you haven't...
Lenny
2005-02-04, 12:09 PM
WAHEY!!! Page 980...
Kaneda
2005-02-05, 09:33 PM
Do you really on have one tersticle?
HandOfHeaven
2005-02-05, 09:52 PM
I have no idea why he would advertise that in his sig if it weren't true.
Kaneda
2005-02-05, 10:11 PM
Maybe koas thought it was funny I don't know. I was just making sure, its not a very common thing. How did it happen Lenny?
HandOfHeaven
2005-02-05, 10:14 PM
Maybe he is waiting for it to drop?
Kaneda
2005-02-05, 10:45 PM
Possible. Do you recall your nuts dropping? Or is this just an urban legend? Cause I certainly don't recall this happening. Not saying that mine are still up there, heh, I just don't remeber them ever not being down.
Lenny
2005-02-06, 01:42 AM
Kaneda: I got both testicles still...
HOH: I quite like the sig...it's the best one I've got...and I can't make my own...
Kaneda: Nothing happened...at least I don't think something happened...
HOH: I'm not even gonna bother answering that...
----------
You guys are starting to scare me now...you're making me nervous...if this carries on, I'm gonna have to check to make sure I'm right that I do have both testicles...
Kaneda
2005-02-06, 10:34 AM
I told you it was koas's doing.
Deathnamu
2005-02-07, 06:45 AM
hahahaha
Deathnamu
2005-02-09, 05:44 AM
and the saga continues
Kaneda
2005-02-09, 06:57 AM
I love pancakes, I love pork, I love chicken, come put it on my fork.
I love white bread, I love wheat, Give me some peanut butter and I'll beat my meat.
Lenny
2005-02-09, 10:14 AM
I love breadsticks, I love....erm....what rhymes with breadsticks???
Kaneda
2005-02-10, 12:01 PM
I love breadsticks, I love dicks
GO AHEAD AND BAN ME THEN MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL OUT W/ ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaneda
2005-02-10, 12:54 PM
Lets all play the 3 word story game. Everyone posts 3 words to continue the story.
I ate some
Kaneda
2005-02-10, 05:53 PM
:bong2:
?
Kaneda
2005-02-10, 05:54 PM
I don't think we have bong smileys
Kaneda
2005-02-10, 05:56 PM
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Kaneda
2005-02-10, 05:58 PM
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Kaneda
2005-02-10, 06:12 PM
Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine Tattooine
Lenny
2005-02-11, 12:52 PM
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He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He
Kaneda
2005-02-11, 03:20 PM
Tehe
Tehe
Lenny
2005-02-11, 03:21 PM
Nearly...
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:33 PM
And now your back from outer space..
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:34 PM
mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa mufasa
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:35 PM
mufasa u know lion king....
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:35 PM
double posting is fun!
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:49 PM
And so Lenny makes his tenth appearance, and his final farewell:
The First Book of Lenny..........
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas..........
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny..........
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Ninth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Tenth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny ran until he was away from the funeral.
And so he ran some more.
And he came upon a horse and cart track.
And the horses and carts trotted by.
And some amusing music could be heard playing in time to the trotting of hooves.
And Lenny stepped cautiously into the track, lest he should be run over.
And Lenny muttered to himself: "10 mph. Too damn fast I told them, but would they listen? No? They'll be sorry when they are covered in swelling limbs and rather colourful bruises in the shape of future American President's heads."
And Lenny stood in front of a cart.
And the horse was going too fast (7 mph), and could not stop in time.
And Lenny hijacked it.
And he trotted off.
And the driver caught up with him and punched him.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so Lenny walked to the next town.
And he bought a new house with no floor.
And so he went to the floor tile shop.
And bought some floor tiles.
they had holes in them.
And so Lenny returned to the shop.
And he asked to see the manager.
And manager Mantralord came and spoke with Lenny.
And he took him into the back room.
And there was much screaming.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny came out.
And he was pleased.
And so he went home.
And he fell through his non-existent floor.
And so he died once more.
And so he went to hell once more.
And so he was tortured for [B][U]ALL eternity.
And he wasn't heard from again.
And the people rejoiced one last time.
And zagggon was happy.
And so were the members of Zelaron.
And so ends the Ten Books of Lenny..........
nice job lenny 8.359/10 there were emotions flying oh how it made me hard HOORAH FOR LENNY
i no kung fu
2005-02-12, 06:50 PM
what i acidently clicked on the page...
Lenny
2005-02-13, 04:59 AM
Say what now???
Kaneda
2005-02-13, 05:42 AM
Don't bother trying to conversate w/ him.
i no kung fu
2005-02-13, 02:24 PM
shut up im ruler of all bow to me mortals HA
i no kung fu
2005-02-13, 02:26 PM
Say what now???i was tryin to compliment u on ur OH so wonderful book....ahahha
Lenny
2005-02-13, 02:29 PM
AHA! AHA HA HA HA! You're crazy...
Lenny
2005-02-13, 04:19 PM
The First Book of Lenny..........
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas..........
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny..........
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
[U]The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Ninth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Tenth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny ran until he was away from the funeral.
And so he ran some more.
And he came upon a horse and cart track.
And the horses and carts trotted by.
And some amusing music could be heard playing in time to the trotting of hooves.
And Lenny stepped cautiously into the track, lest he should be run over.
And Lenny muttered to himself: "10 mph. Too damn fast I told them, but would they listen? No? They'll be sorry when they are covered in swelling limbs and rather colourful bruises in the shape of future American President's heads."
And Lenny stood in front of a cart.
And the horse was going too fast (7 mph), and could not stop in time.
And Lenny hijacked it.
And he trotted off.
And the driver caught up with him and punched him.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so Lenny walked to the next town.
And he bought a new house with no floor.
And so he went to the floor tile shop.
And bought some floor tiles.
[But] they had holes in them.
And so Lenny returned to the shop.
And he asked to see the manager.
And manager Mantralord came and spoke with Lenny.
And he took him into the back room.
And there was much screaming.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny came out.
And he was pleased.
And so he went home.
And he fell through his non-existent floor.
And so he died once more.
And so he went to hell once more.
And so he was tortured for ALL eternity.
And he wasn't heard from again.
And the people rejoiced one last time.
And zagggon was happy.
And so were the members of Zelaron.
And so ends the Ten Books of Lenny..........
Lenny
2005-02-13, 04:21 PM
A-HA! A-HA A-HA A-HA!!!!!!!
The First Book of Lenny..........
And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.
The Second Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.
The Book of Thomas..........
And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.
The Third Book of Lenny..........
And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.
The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.
[U]The Fifth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.
The Sixth Book of Lenny...........
And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.
The Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Ninth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.
The Tenth Book of Lenny..........
And Lenny ran until he was away from the funeral.
And so he ran some more.
And he came upon a horse and cart track.
And the horses and carts trotted by.
And some amusing music could be heard playing in time to the trotting of hooves.
And Lenny stepped cautiously into the track, lest he should be run over.
And Lenny muttered to himself: "10 mph. Too damn fast I told them, but would they listen? No? They'll be sorry when they are covered in swelling limbs and rather colourful bruises in the shape of future American President's heads."
And Lenny stood in front of a cart.
And the horse was going too fast (7 mph), and could not stop in time.
And Lenny hijacked it.
And he trotted off.
And the driver caught up with him and punched him.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so Lenny walked to the next town.
And he bought a new house with no floor.
And so he went to the floor tile shop.
And bought some floor tiles.
[But] they had holes in them.
And so Lenny returned to the shop.
And he asked to see the manager.
And manager Mantralord came and spoke with Lenny.
And he took him into the back room.
And there was much screaming.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny came out.
And he was pleased.
And so he went home.
And he fell through his non-existent floor.
And so he died once more.
And so he went to hell once more.
And so he was tortured for ALL eternity.
And he wasn't heard from again.
And the people rejoiced one last time.
And zagggon was happy.
And so were the members of Zelaron.
And so ends the Ten Books of Lenny..........
Lenny
2005-02-13, 04:22 PM
Comment on those!
Thanatos
2005-02-13, 04:48 PM
You have way too much time on your hands.
i no kung fu
2005-02-13, 09:16 PM
yea seriously i mean come on how much time did it take u to type all that shit?
Lenny
2005-02-14, 03:01 AM
Well...after the copying and pasting, then putting in the flip tags, about...a minute???
The actual books however...about an hour altogether.
So that is....61 minutes.
Sovereign
2005-02-14, 03:16 AM
testing
Lenny
2005-02-14, 03:23 AM
Testing what may I ask?
Sovereign
2005-02-14, 05:44 AM
signature.
Lenny
2005-02-14, 09:06 AM
Ahhh....I getcha...could you not use the test forum though???? Isn't that what it's there for?
i no kung fu
2005-02-14, 10:01 AM
Ya but this way he's helping out w/ the WRT!
KagomJack
2005-02-14, 08:59 PM
BLART
BRAF
Goddammit I hate you :(
Lenny
2005-02-15, 03:57 AM
He he he he he he he he...............
Lenny
2005-02-15, 03:58 AM
Goddammit, Kagom hates you..........
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 10:26 AM
I propose that we get rid of the test forum and make everyone test here.
Yeah, theres plenty of forums to test sigs you don't even need to even test...just post a useful post and check your sig, the test forum was mainly for showing off sigs I :-\.
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-15, 10:54 AM
OMG I just bit my tongue sooo friggin' hard! My tongue feels all warm and stingy.. also, the blood taste is making me feel kinda sick :(
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 11:02 AM
I've always kinda enjoyed the taste of blood, like not licking cuts or anything, but like your saying when you get a toung cut or smething.
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 11:20 AM
Some baby some baby some baby some.
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 11:21 AM
Sov, have you ever had a sig like that b4? It seems familiar.
he hada gay one with teh d2 chat screen.
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-15, 11:43 AM
Yeah gay + teh ugly.
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-15, 11:45 AM
Anyone found the special secret guest in my sig?
Hmm.. I've been looking for 20 minutes and found nothing...but I see an eye in the right part of your sig...
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 12:22 PM
A secret guest?
I never knew mightychicken had migrated here from the DF forum.
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 12:37 PM
Fruit loops now have 1/3 less sugar! I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference too, why would Kellogs do such a thing...damn them, if anything they should be adding sugar. People don't eat fruit loops cause they're healthy!
Cinnamon toast crunch is teh sex.
Kaneda
2005-02-15, 12:41 PM
OMG! I just found some pieces of plastic in one of my mint oreos! Eck! Atleast it wasn't a rat turd I suppose...although I probably would have just eaten that...
Lol...you reminded me of one guy I saw at the park who was fucked up off a shitload of weed and 4 lines of coke. He was walking around the park and he saw some dog shit, he busted out this small ass pipe and was like "Oooh, found me some weed". He picked up a peice of dog shit and started to try and smoke it, it was funny as fuck.
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-15, 01:39 PM
Your right, its in the right part of my sig.
http://www.vietnamartwork.com/Resources/Artwork/RITUAL%20SUICIDE%20MASK.jpg
It's tha ritual suicide mask :cool:
look he's winking at ya...you know 'm?
Oh yeah, me an him smkoed like 5 pounds of weed in one hit...then he started feeling bad about himself and commited suicide.
Lenny
2005-02-16, 05:29 AM
WOW! I can see clearly now...:p
Hello crazy ritual suicide mask...
Kaneda
2005-02-16, 05:51 PM
Dude, if you smoked 5lbs you couldn't possibly feel bad about anything for like 2 weeks. Your favorite grandma coulda got hit by a buss, and you'd be like eh, that sucks.
i no kung fu
2005-02-16, 09:27 PM
CHiken butts?
Kaneda
2005-02-16, 09:52 PM
Sono femmina dei james del rick
Kaneda
2005-02-16, 09:53 PM
Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick Sono femmina dei james del rick
Kaneda
2005-02-16, 09:57 PM
My hermit crabs are the most active at night...They crawl around in thier little 8" by 4" world diggin at the blue fish gravel, one can only wonder what kind of crazy adventures thier little crabby legs would have carried them on by now if they're ancestors had been let loose from the pet store many a year ago...
Kaneda
2005-02-16, 11:36 PM
Seriously though! How do blind people know when they are done wiping thier ass's?!?!?!?!?!? My god I can't figure it out. Unless someone helps them. Or do they just wipe a bunch!?
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-17, 03:17 AM
They feel with their finger, DUH.
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-17, 03:17 AM
Or maybe their dog is trained to lick their asses clean.
Lenny
2005-02-17, 05:46 AM
Say what now???
Are you implying something?
Deathnamu
2005-02-17, 05:51 AM
Dogs trained with a ass licking function are wat every1 needs
Lenny
2005-02-17, 05:55 AM
Are you implying something as well???
Everyone is implying something against me now!!!!!!!
First Kaneda! Now you!
What was Kaneda iimplying ?? Someone??? Anyone???
i no kung fu
2005-02-17, 07:19 AM
BLART
BRAF
Goddammit I hate you :(
well...i hate you to queer
Lenny
2005-02-17, 07:41 AM
Are you implying now???
Kaneda
2005-02-17, 12:04 PM
Well actually Lenny if you MUST know, I really dislike cheesdogs, you know those hotdogs, with cheese in the middle...they're so fake.
Lenny
2005-02-17, 12:08 PM
Never had them...
What type of cheese??
Is it in the actual sausage itself??
Melted or solid???
platnum
2005-02-17, 07:25 PM
i dunno
Lenny
2005-02-18, 03:53 AM
Oh...OK then...
Deathnamu
2005-02-18, 06:10 AM
It's green cheese surprise.
Kaneda
2005-02-18, 11:51 AM
Ya, thier made by like Oscar Meyer, they have cheese put into the middle, and yes it melts obviously when you heat the dog up. But it doesn't really taste like cheese.
Lenny
2005-02-18, 11:52 AM
Hmmm...so what were you implying?
Kaneda
2005-02-19, 09:22 PM
Well I might be imlpying that I hate gay guys that like to eat lots of cheese. OR I could be implying that one day a giant race of bug aliens will start to imigrate to America, and imbed themselves into our political and radical leaders groups, therefore control everyone from the president to your average podunk police officer. Thereby giving rights and other equalitys to the bug race, which they DO NOT deserve, only to ulimatly destroy our communitys, culture, and heritage!
Take your pick.
i no kung fu
2005-02-19, 11:45 PM
mufasa is good for the soul he will show the ways luke my son. BOW DOWN TO ME MORTALS!!
-=Rico-GP=-
2005-02-20, 02:35 AM
H to the izzo
undeadzombieguy
2005-02-20, 03:19 AM
QUACK QUACK
http://zelaron.com/forum/image.php?u=3052&dateline=1107478559
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