Have a criminal record? What are the most illegal things that you've done?

Drinking, smoking pot, stole 150 bucks from some old lady when I was 10, stole multiple times from other people, fucked someone over 18(is that even illegal?), Trespassing, out after curfew, buying pot, stealing booze, blowing shit up, firing a big ass potato gun that shot C batteries at golfers, firing a smaller potato gun that shot golfballs at golfers, sometimes frozen golf balls, Downloading and viewing pornography on the internet, fucking up D2 for blizzard, some things I don't want to list, some things I'm not going to list because they are just stupid.