Drinking Stories

You must be kidding, Titus! YOUR LIVER WILL NEVER WITHSTAND THAT BARRAGE OF PAIN!

A few years ago, probably when I was about 16 or so, me and 2 other good friends got completely smashed and decided to go meet someone to smoke down. I was the oldest person among us, and being 16 I still didn't have a driver's license.

Anyway, we decide to steal my dad's van to drive to this kid's house. We call him and he says to wait at Taco Bell for a couple minutes so he can meet us there and follow him. Well I get to Taco Bell and parked at the back close to a tall wooden fence. Randomly the youngest friend (15 at the time) asked if he could drive. For whatever stupid reason I decided to be generous and grant him driving permissions. Our smoking friend calls me and says to pull out of Taco Bell because he was about to pass it.

So my friend puts it in gear, and stomps on the gas.

3 Problems:

1. The Drive Through line of people was directly behind us.
2. There was a huge wooden fence in front of us.
3. He didn't put the van into reverse, he put it into drive.


SO - We run straight into the wooden fence, knocking a large portion over, and stopped directly on top of it. (The whole drive through line was staring at us, mind you.) So then me and my other friend start yelling "GO! GO! GO!" and we drive through another company's grass and then finally onto a road.

---------------------

We never got caught or anything, which is definitely good. And we went to Taco Bell the next day in a different vehicle, and saw some people re-building the fence. All of us couldn't help but chuckle.

You must be kidding, Titus! YOUR LIVER WILL NEVER WITHSTAND THAT BARRAGE OF PAIN!

I have a friend that does it and hes fine but later him and titus will be in pain for sure.

I was being sarcastic. My dad used to drink 2 cases of beer a day. Alcoholism at its finest.

How is he now?

October 2006...I get my nice Columbia coat stolen.

It's a great party. Literally 4 blocks from my house, down town. I was just chilling in school one day, and my friend Laura tells me she has a bottle of liquor that she doesn't like. It happens to be Jim Beam Whiskey, which I have never had. So, after school, my best bud Jake (Arkantis) procures the bottle. I have to work 5-9 at Hardees that night, so I was a tad late to the party. Anyways, after I had showered and was presentable to the party, I show up a tiny bit before 11. It's a chill party, everyone's dancing, sharing pricelss moments. I meet up with Jake and his cousin, and we do four odd shots. I'm feeling good, and then someone offers a vsop shot to me. Of course I can't turn it down. I'm feeling really good, and the apartment had finally heated up, so I put my jacket on a nice couch. Bad idea, this sucker cost me 200 bucks, on sale. It was so warm. Anyways, Jake and I started to down the rest of the Liter of Jim Beam, much to our dismay. Next thing I know, I am lunging into the bathroom, my vomit finding the toilet. Not two minutes later Jake sprawls into the bathroom, puking his guts out. Something must have been wrong with the Jim Beam. After 'chilling' out and puking our guts out, the host gives each of us a pillow and blanket, and shows us into Monica's room. He says to pass out anywhere, just 'don't make a mess'. So I go to the far corner and do so, my best bud stays near the door. I should've retrieved my coat.

Next morning, the host , Jeff's dad comes around 10AM to pick him up. He was going on some sort of family vacation, so we had to leave. I look around everywhere, and can't find my coat. It was October, and quite cold out, so I was really pissed. Jake gave me his light jacket, and we made it to the Ulmer Cafe for breakfast. I'm just so apalled that my coat got stolen; I can't even enjoy the morning after meal. As we part ways, I promise to give my friend his jacket back. Keep in mind I was only 16, so explaining to my rents that I needed a new coat didn't go down so well. A few months later I saw it in the back of a car, but he pulled away too quickly. Shady fuckers suck, and Jim Bean should never be consumed.

Sounds to me like that's your fault. Getting drunk and leaving your personal items unattended usually doesn't pan out.

Drinking stories, eh? Alright, here goes:

This was a couple of years ago, I'd say in '05 so I was about 17-18 at the time. My buddy's mom is a big stoner and she's really cool with all of us. So, one week one of her friends goes out of town and she says we can go over there to party if we can't find anywhere else. Sure, why not. So the 8 of us decide to go over there. We're not planning on throwing a party, per se, we're just gonna chill and drink. We don't want to trash a house that's not ours so we don't invite anybody over there except for the people my buddy's mom said was cool to go there.

So this is going pretty good. We've got about 2 cases of budweiser between the 8 of us and at that time, I didn't like beer so I'd be smashed off of like 4. About an hour and a half into it, somebody knocks on the door. We're all like WTF do we do.. this isn't our house. My friend Ted (the dude with the cool mom) decides to answer the door. It's some guy that is friends with the house-owners and he's looking for them. At this point in time we're all semi-drunk so our answers range from the following:
- "I've owned this house for several years, how dare you question my integrity."
- "Get the fuck out of here!"
- "They're not here so we're partying in their absence."
- "FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT QUIT PESTERING US."

As you can see, these are horrible responses to the situation at hand.

I have like 9 beers and proceed to go into the bathroom because I am FUBAR. Seriously, 9 beers to me at this time got me SMASHED. So I go into the bathroom to puke and I end up passing out on the floor. While laying there for an hour, the first thing I see when I open my eyes is a cop standing over me.

Apparently this is what happened: the guy that came to the door called the cops on us. When the cops arrived they were staking out the place, and one of my friends was pissing in the front yard. Cop sees this, which gives him ample reason to come in the house and start fucking shit up.

Back to the cop standing over me: I am promptly put in handcuffs no questions asked. He takes me out into the dining room and starts searching me. As I'm handcuffed being searched, all of my friends are sitting on the couches watching the drunkest person there get handcuffed and searched. I look to them and mouth a "What the fuck!?" And guess what!!? I have a pipe and about an 8th in my pocket. Fucking fantastic. After he takes the weed he tells me to go sit on the couches with the rest of my friends. After sitting there for about 1.5 minutes, I realize I have to puke again. I go to the screen door that is in the living and am begging the cop to open it for me because I'm about to vomit everywhere. So he lets me go out there. Looking back on it, it's so surreal. I am in this random backyard, handcuffed, puking my brains out.

To end this story, none of us got in trouble. They made me flush my weed down the toilet, we had to dump the beers, break the bong we had, and call our parents to come pick us up. Come to find out, when my friends saw me starting to get searched they stuffed their weed in the couch coushins. They had time to prepare. I didn't.

Summary: The drunkest person there got handcuffed and fucked with for no apparent reason. Yay for underage drinking!

Did my story kill this thread?

My father is close to 50 and in great health.

I'm not close to 50 and I'm in great health. I do think I drink too much, but I don't really care. I think the part that's going to get me in trouble is that I've acquired a liking to Scotch over the last two years, and that is probably going to do me dirty in the end.

I am going to call BULLSHIT on almost everyone here. You guys can not tell me that between the thousands of drunken weekends you guys seem to have, you only have, what... 6 stories?