awesome joke

ok this is one of my favorites: so theres a pirate ship and the first mate is in the crows nest and he comes down and tells the captain theres an enemy ship on the horizon so they captain says to the first mate bring me my red shirt and the first mate asks him why he wants his red shirt and the captain says because so when he gets shot the enemy won't see him bleed so the first mate brings him is red shirt and goes back to the crows nest as the rest of the ship readies for battle then an hour later right before they're about to begin tthe fight with the enemy ship when the first mate comes down again and tells the captain that they're surronded by 50 enemy ships and the captain says bring me my brown pants

What is a pirates favorite letter?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

What a pussy captain.

hahahahahahahha nice.

Edit:
I'm awful at remembering jokes....buuut
There's 3 little pigs. They go into a restaurant. Waiter asks them what they want for an appetizer. First pig orders calimari, second orders escargo, third says "beer beer beer". Waiter returns with order.
Then asks them for their entree orders. First pig orders steak, second orders salmon, third says "beer beer beer". Waiter brings their orders.
They finish eating and the waitor returns for dessert orders. First pig orders chocolate cake, second is full, third says "beer beer beer". Waiter then says "O.K., Whats going on here, why are you just ordering beer?"
Pig replys "well, someones gotta go wee wee wee all the way home!!!"

LOL that was good.

There once was a man from nantucket
With a dick so long he could suck it
and he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
if my ear were a cunt I would fuck it.

Guy walks into a bar and sets an octopus on the counter.
Bartender says, "Hey buddy, you can't just put that octopus on the counter!"
Guy says, "But my man, this is a musical octopus. In fact, I bet anyone in the bar a round of drinks that my octopus can play any instrument you give it."
A guitar player in the band says, "Hell, I'll take that bet," and hands the guy his guitar.
The octopus takes the guitar, tunes it up, and starts playing the most kickass guitar solo anyone in the bar has ever heard. The guitar player, clearly amazed, buys a round of drinks for everyone in celebration of the musical octopus.
Then the band's piano player steps up. "Not bad, but how is he at tickling the ivories?"
The guy sets his octopus down at the piano and it starts playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. The rendition is so stirring that half the bar begins to weep. The piano player wipes a tear from his eye and pays for a round of drinks.
Finally, the bartender says to the guy, "I've got an instrument that I guarentee your octopus can't play. In fact, forget the drinks, let's bet cash. Five-hundered bucks."
The guy strokes his chin and says, "Well, that's a lot of money, but I have the highest faith in my octopus, so you're on!"
The bartender reaches back behind the bar and pulls out a set of bagpipes, which the guy hands to his octopus. The octopus cocks its head and looks at the bagpipes, then smells them, then holds them above its head and starts shaking them violently.
The guy leans down to the octopus and whispers, "What are you doing? Can't you play it?"
To which the octopus replies, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get its pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

Hahaha, nice. I liked that one a lot.

That was classic, hahaha.

Got it from Maxim and embellished it a bit.

Actually, I heard a reference to it on the Simpsons. Flanders complains to Homer that Rod learned a joke from Bart that "ended with an octopus fornicating with a set of bagpipes." I love it when I know the joke from the punchline.