When Lennies get bored...Vol II.

It's back! The second in the series is here! Bow down and worship it! MUAHAHAHAHA!

No pictures this time...unless you count the Santa hat ---->.

Anyway, remember these:

http://www.zelaron.com/forum/showthr...ht=books+lenny
http://www.zelaron.com/forum/showthr...ht=books+lenny



I've rewritten most of them, although the first four are still the same, apart from the Book of Thomas:

The Book of Thomas

And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and brought him cake.
And there was much rejoicing.
And unto them Thomas gave 3 fences to cherish and two cats to eat when the crops were poor.
And there was much rejoicing.
And on Sunday Thomas did not rest instead he had a burrito.
And unto Escalote he said: “Let this be the day of spicy luncheons.”
And there was much rejoicing.

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And so we start, with Book #5.


The Fifth Book of Lenny (Lehemia 1 - 49)

And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter received a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference from the storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a big, red button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with his teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.


Bah...I hate Verdana!

Anyway, stay tuned for Book 6! And also two novels: The Books of Lenny (concerning Books 1-4) and The Words of the Prophet (Books 5-10).

ENJOY you poor, poor things!

Heh, these are usually pretty good. Will read when I get home.

Lenny, you never seize to amaze me. Classic.

A new day, a new bed-hairstyle, a new Book of Lenny.

I've taken t'other 'un out of quotes because it doesn't work for some people. So this one ain't in quotes neither.

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The Sixth Book of Lenny (Lenther 12 - 41)

And the Reincarnated Lenny was told by [Mr.] Bob that a minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smartass, make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs to a Lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot.
And Lenny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You monster you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl smacked Lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.


If you want to see the Books in all there splendour, or can't be bothered waiting, then they're on my site somewhere. Just give my siggy a little clicky.