Kill Your Sim
A day-to-day guide to being your own grim reaper.
Kill Your Sims
We all love our Sims, seeing to their every need and watching them grow closer to us and to each other. But sometimes they just piss us off to the point that we have no choice but to kill a couple just to ease our wrath. If you've got a hankerin' for a good-old fashioned Sim killin', read on.
Deprivation
Our first murder MO is the most basic, but also the most torturous: simple deprivation. Lure some poor sap into a tiny room. Wall up the door. Sit back and watch the hilarity ensue over the course of the next three or four Sim days. Unable to properly sleep, eat, or socialize, the Sim will moan and wail, collapsing every so often from exhaustion before finally starving to death.
For added fun, trap your whole family in the kitchen with only a refrigerator. This'll take a bit longer than the solo version, but at least they'll die surrounded by filth. And the wailing is much more enjoyable coming from four or five people at once.
Drowning
Next comes drowning. Throw a pool party. While everyone is enjoying the cool water, go to buy mode and sell the ladder. Apparently, Sims have absolutely no upper body strength and are incapable of pulling themselves that scant foot to safety. Once again, they'll start complaining well before the inevitable ensues. There will also be much peeing in the pool. But if you are patient, eventually they will all die of exhaustion.
Fire
And last but far from least, the single easiest and most satisfying way to kill your Sims: fire. This one's almost too easy. Given half a chance, your Sims will burn themselves up without any help from you. In fact, while we were putting this poor sap through a slow trip to hell, the rest of the family took the express elevator in the kitchen.
But there are accidents, and then there's meticulously planned slaughter. Send an ignorant sap with no cooking skill out to grill up some vittles. Surround him with flammable obstacles, and put a rug under the grill for good measure. Surprisingly, even then it might take a couple tries, but it's still far quicker than waiting for your Sims to starve or drown.
And for a truly spectacular "kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out" fun time, gather the family in the living room. Scatter rugs throughout the room. Then start up a cheery fireplace fire. Or, for a festive twist, have your Sims set off some fireworks inside. The room will become an instant fireball.
Electrocution
Here's a special Web-only killing method: electrocution. Now, to be totally honest, this one's a little random to be counted on as a good way to kill your Sim. You need two things to make it work: a broken appliance (the cheap TV works well), and a Sim with no mechanical skill. Sims with mechanical skill might get killed, but it's a lot less likely. Spill some water in front of the TV (if all else fails, keep a Sim there till they pee). Then have your unlucky sap try to fix the TV while standing in the puddle. Zap!
From Tech TV
By Karsten Bondy
www.techtv.com
Kill Your Sim
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