And now, my daily blog

This entry is from 05/01/2010

Dear diary,

Things have been going surprisingly well with Ben. I feel very connected to him and enjoy his company. The sex is pretty mind-blowing too. But the one thing that really just irritates me is that he's really stupid. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's so awful and forces you to pay attention to his stupidity.

Like, he thinks Mexican is a language. He loves NASCAR, which boggles my mind and is pretty anti-evolution. He's also a picky eater and won't eat lettuce because he was told by some online group that lettuce causes your penis to shrink. Imagine how fun that conversation was. He told me they had scientific evidence that the government puts something in lettuce to make your penis shrink and also, he believes in chem trails.

But he is one helluva cook. He also can make Baked Alaskan. He's a keeper for that feat alone. He's also got a huge dick. I don't know if that impacts anything other than my ass, but it's a plus.

I met his dad today too. Really odd guy. He has this lisp, but is constantly looking for a chance to fingerbang his wife whenever she's in a room. They'll seriously be going at it under a table or if they pull a throw over them. It's really kinda...disturbing. His dad asked me if I wanted to smell his fingers the first time we caught them. I think I died a little inside when I did.

He's got a pretty cool sister, named Ruth, that I've met a few times. She's an anarchist that's dressed like she's a fashion model. Her boyfriend is some hipster. Not even worth more of a mention than that. He's got a little brother named Sanjay. He's adopted. And 12 years old. And likes to punch things. He has some sort of mental disorder. At least Ruth thinks so.

Also, I found out today that my parents and I have been invited to a wedding for a cousin of mine. She's apparently marrying a rich lawyer. Our biggest problem is that she did send invites to my brother and sister. Mom says not to worry, they won't come because Brian won't come because he hates family get-togethers and Katrina is too strung out on heroin to pay any attention. So I guess that put me at ease. She's going to let them off the hook, but I have to suffer. Then again, my cousin is pretty badass.

Time to do some laundry, diary. Deuces.