There are meager surges

Then there are dumb shits. Oh wait. That's just the fat ions again.

Yea, except that was the lamest non-retortical (new word) retort I've ever heard. You're not clever in the slightest. At least the OP played off of our handles. You, on the other hand, just claimed that ions were dumb...

By the way, you know who would just love my surges? MidnightChorus. She would be insatiable for my hard, thrusting surges. In fact, I think it's fair to say once these fat ions enter her life she couldn't live without them.

Don't get in the way when these fat ions surge either. You might get shocked!