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Posted 2007-09-11, 10:47 AM in reply to D3V's post starting "Well, the only difference is saving..."
D3V said:
Well, the only difference is saving money on renting an apartment over a house, is what I meant to mean. I'm sure we'll have kids eventually, we've agreed to wait for a while, atleast another year before we do anything serious. Thanks for the responses guys, just what I thought i'd hear.
The way you talk, it sounds like you've already decided on her. You really, really should wait until you live together before you even plan a future with her. You don't know how different living together will be. It's really a huge eye-opener, I was with Nikki for years before we lived together, I thought I knew everything about her, but I didn't.

She's still a kid, whether she acts like it or not. Until you move out of your parents house, work a job, pay your own bills, have your own place, you're a kid.

There are really a lot of other things you should be planning/considering right now, having kids is not one of them. If you're serious about wanting to be with her, you've got to figure out a lot of stuff.

Examples:

Where are you going to live?
Are you both going to work?
How are you going to handle money/bills?
Are either of you planning on going to college? Are you planning to go to the same college, or colleges that are in different states?
Can she even handle living on her own yet?(You'll most likely automatically say yes to this one, but nobody will know for sure until she actually does it.)

I don't mean to sound like a nay-sayer, if that's how I'm coming across. I just think you'll fare a lot better if you keep your head on straight. There are a LOT of uncertainties when you're talking about a 17 year old girl who hasn't lived on her own or any of that other stuff. Also, a 17 year old girl could change her mind any day about whether she even wants to be with you or not. Once she gets out of high school, she might realize that she wants to date for a while before choosing someone. Her parents will probably even urge her to.

That's pretty much my advice to you. The best advice I can give you is make sure, at all times, that you are thinking realistically. Thinking optimistically is alright as long as you realize that things often do not turn out as they are planned; make sure you consider all possibilities and have a backup plan. "Expect the worst, hope for the best."
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