Chruser vs. WetWired

The big unknown in this battle is the physical stature or WW. We have all pictured him as a computer harddrive at one point or another, or we have heard of his Tom Hanks look-alike appearance, but who really knows? Chruser, on the other hand has not shyed away from showing his thin Swedish build in random eyeball pictures over the years. Has he been lifting since his last picture? Doubtful. Does he actually contain superhuman mind manipulation powers? Quite possibly.. Who will stand victor in this battle of many unknowns?

Dude, WetWired for the pwn! This is how the battle goes. Chruser blasts a wave of mind control at WW, but of course, WW is unaffected because he is a computer. Next, chruser would obviously try to infect WW with a virus. Once again, WW thwarts this with his brand new McAfee firewall. Now it's WW's turn to attack. Immediately, millions of lines of code flash before chrusers eyes. OH NOES! What's happening. It's entirely too much for Chruser to handle. Chruser starts gnawing on his arms to keep his sanity. As a last attempt, Chruser attempt to bang his head on WW, but WW's hard titanium casing keeps him safe. Chruser, on the other hand, suffers severe mental damage, and ends up like Terry Schaivo. At this point, WW deliberately shorts himself, and electrical sparks shoot out at Chruser, killing him softly . . . with his song . . . like the emperor.

Chruser would call in the Swedish army.





WetWired obviously would not stand a chance.

Chruser would call in the Swedish army. WetWired obviously would not stand a chance.

Of course, if this extremely unlikely possibility were to happen, WW would simply hack the communications of the swedish army, and set off a massive free for all -- an every man for himself swedish army, which would eventually eliminate itself, and WW would once again prevail victorious. In fact, one of the little known facts of the universe, WW actually started off the cold war. There actually were umpteen nuclear devices dropped in both america and russia, WW is just so badass he covered it all up. WW, of course, didn't have a side, he simply wanted the two countries to fight for his own amusement. Do you notice the increasing stupidity amongst people? Side-effects from nuclear fallout of course.

Of course, if this extremely unlikely possibility were to happen, WW would simply hack the communications of the swedish army, and set off a massive free for all -- an every man for himself swedish army, which would eventually eliminate itself, and WW would once again prevail victorious. In fact, one of the little known facts of the universe, WW actually started off the cold war. There actually were umpteen nuclear devices dropped in both america and russia, WW is just so badass he covered it all up. WW, of course, didn't have a side, he simply wanted the two countries to fight for his own amusement. Do you notice the increasing stupidity amongst people? Side-effects from nuclear fallout of course.

You can't hack paper cups and string