Atleast we know what kind of items we can expect in D3 now
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
Dramatic Brillo Pad of the Walrus
-1 - 4 Damage
Hit causes monsters to have excruciating long death scene
Player's attacks are over-emphisized
Causes monster to look at you oddly
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
The Mighty Red One's Buttplug
-68 - 0 Damage
+3 to all red skills
Player must see a doctor immediately
Chirp Chirp
CANNOT BE USED UNTIL REPARIED
now this 1 is decent:
Dread Killer Face
90 - 120 Damage
+10000% to damage
Ignore traget's defense
+9000 to attack rating
Item entertains its user with song and dance
Summons gothlings
Gothlings follow you around until killed
2 - 34 Damage
Hit causes monsters to go to church
CANNOT BE USED BY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
all potions becomes Mountain Dew
Sugar Sean's Toe
0 Damage
+2 to all red skills
-3 to douche
ITEM DOES NOT EXIST
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
16 - 32 Damage
12 sockets
CD Key becomes invalid
+80% to barking
Rake Rattle Rake
50 - 70 damage
+40% leaf resists
+400 to strength
+1 raise skeleton (Necromancer Only)
+1 Summon Iron Gardner
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
2 - 34 Damage
Hit blinds target
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!
Happily Naked Slime of Cow Runs
16 - 32 Damage
Hit causes monsters to cat call
60% chance monsters will laugh
GET LEG NOW!
GET LEG NOW!
GET LEG NOW!
MAKE PORTAL!
MAKE PORTAL!
MAKE PORTAL!
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
110 - 230 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints
1.08 Persian Rug
-1 - 4 Damage
50% chance item will be insanely overpowered
50% chance item will be insanely crappy
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
12 - 13 Damage
-5 maximum damage
-30 to all skills
Post made on forums describing your mastrubation habits
Newsletter sent to friends with photo of you hugging a teddy bear
Blue Vomit
Elbow
4 - 8 Damage
+2 to all reading skills
Tattoo (40/40 charges)
+4 to damage
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
Only Ring of the Anarchists
1 - 2 Damage
Not unique
Cannot be used
Museum officials come and take your item away
2% to have government hunt you down
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
-120 - 4 Damage
50% chance item won't be in stash when player logs back in
Da Laz's Chinese Mustard
1 - 3 Damage
+1 to all web skills
+1 to ejactulation
Hit causes monsters to die
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
-1 - 4 Damage
+10000% to damage
Ignore traget's defense
+9000 to attack rating
Hit causes monster to laugh hysterically
All damage is reflected back to you
GFraizer's Ice Tray of Sean's Pants
45 - 84 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints
Ethereal
Indestructable
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
Lol this is frigged up they should make d3 a sexually oriented game like boner spear and rape attack for barb and magical tit inflation for zons and for assasins umm but plug attack and umm hmm sorcs umm rape me button :P