Text Based Role Playing?!?!?!

You find yourself in front of a huge, wooden castle door, with steel bars over it and a large metal keyhole, much like the locked doors in a Zelda game.

You see an extremely large sign beside the door, almost as tall as the door itself, and 4 times as wide, standing on a single wooden stake. There are two paths leading west and east, parallel to the castle.

What do you do?

>open door

You attempt to open the door, ignoring the obvious Zelda keyhole, and find it locked. You feel you should've gone with your first impression of the door.

What do you do?

>read sign

You read the sign. The sign proudly says in 200-point Comic Sans MS font "This Door Is Locked!"

What would you do?

>eat sign

You can't eat that!

What would you do?

>fight sign

You ready your broadsword, and begin to engage the sign in combat. You get the first move!
You hit the sign for 4 damage.
You chopped the sign right on its wooden stake. The sign comes crashing down on top of you, killing you instantly.

GAME OVER