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hahaha..
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Posted 2005-09-17, 05:41 AM
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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PureRebel enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzPureRebel enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
PureRebel
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 11:15 AM in reply to PureRebel's post "hahaha.."
Hahahaha yah I've heard that one before. A classic.

A guy comes home from work early to find his wife in bed with another man. Enraged, the husband drags the other man into the garage and tightens the man's dick in his vice. The husband then pulls out a saw. The other man freaks out "Are you going to saw off my dicks?!?" "No." Replies the husband. "You are. I'm going to burn down the garage"


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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JRwakebord enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzJRwakebord enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
JRwakebord
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 11:25 AM in reply to JRwakebord's post starting "Hahahaha yah I've heard that one..."
JRwakebord said:
saw off my dicks?!?
What kind of secret does that guy have?
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Sum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
Sum Yung Guy
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 03:49 PM in reply to Sum Yung Guy's post starting "What kind of secret does that guy have?"
Surgery???
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HandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
HandOfHeaven
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 05:25 PM in reply to HandOfHeaven's post starting "Surgery???"
Anyone else envision a black man when thinking about "an escaped convict"?
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Mantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
Mantralord
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 07:31 PM in reply to Mantralord's post starting "Anyone else envision a black man when..."
Yep :-\
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Sovereign enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzSovereign enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
Sovereign
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 07:58 PM in reply to Sovereign's post starting "Yep :-\"
And a gay black man....only makes sense...


Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison (Thanks Office Space)
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HandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
HandOfHeaven
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 08:14 PM in reply to HandOfHeaven's post starting "And a gay black man....only makes..."
omg. rofley
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Sovereign enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzSovereign enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
Sovereign
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-17, 08:56 PM in reply to Sovereign's post starting "omg. rofley"
I love your new avatar.
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HandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
HandOfHeaven
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 12:13 AM in reply to HandOfHeaven's post starting "And a gay black man....only makes..."
HandOfHeaven said:
Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison (Thanks Office Space)

Fanatastic film.


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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JRwakebord enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzJRwakebord enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
JRwakebord
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 02:15 AM in reply to JRwakebord's post starting "Fanatastic film."
Yea I need to find my copy of it, dunno where it went.
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Sum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
Sum Yung Guy
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 08:35 AM in reply to Sum Yung Guy's post starting "Yea I need to find my copy of it, dunno..."
Anyone remember this?
Attached Images
File Type: jpg bobs-stupid[1].jpg (80.5 KB, 12 views)
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HandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beHandOfHeaven seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
HandOfHeaven
 



 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 09:04 AM in reply to HandOfHeaven's post starting "Anyone remember this?"
Wow those stories both cracked me up.
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Penny_Bags enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzPenny_Bags enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 10:17 AM in reply to Penny_Bags's post starting "Wow those stories both cracked me up."
New to me, good joke!

"When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic."- Benjamin Franklin
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Adrenachrome enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzAdrenachrome enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 10:22 AM in reply to Adrenachrome's post starting "New to me, good joke!"
Adrenachrome said:
New to me, good joke!
Got a chuckle out of me.
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Demosthenes seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beDemosthenes seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beDemosthenes seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beDemosthenes seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 10:51 AM in reply to Demosthenes's post starting "Got a chuckle out of me."
Ripping good laugh!
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Thanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 12:47 PM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "Ripping good laugh!"
Very funny, both of them. More please!!!
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Dar_Win enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzDar_Win enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 03:03 PM in reply to PureRebel's post "hahaha.."
I heard that a while ago but it is still funny.
"why I've gotta be one of the cool kids just to walk by/
- without being tripped, thrown down on the ground and kicked/
Insulting me for no reason, I was treated like shit/
The teachers let it happen/
I've even seen some of them teachers laughing/
That's why I had a smile on my face when I started blastin/" - Ill Bill - The Anatomy of a School Shooting
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Original Sin is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenOriginal Sin is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 04:01 PM in reply to Original Sin's post starting "I heard that a while ago but it is..."
How do you make a 12 year old girl cry twice?



Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.
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Mantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beMantralord seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
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Posted 2005-09-18, 04:55 PM in reply to Mantralord's post starting "How do you make a 12 year old girl cry..."
I always said it with boy and 5 year old...
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Sum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to beSum Yung Guy seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
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