hahaha..
 

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Hahahaha yah I've heard that one before. A classic.

A guy comes home from work early to find his wife in bed with another man. Enraged, the husband drags the other man into the garage and tightens the man's dick in his vice. The husband then pulls out a saw. The other man freaks out "Are you going to saw off my dicks?!?" "No." Replies the husband. "You are. I'm going to burn down the garage"

What kind of secret does that guy have?

Surgery???

Anyone else envision a black man when thinking about "an escaped convict"?

Yep :-\

And a gay black man....only makes sense...


Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison (Thanks Office Space)

omg. rofley

I love your new avatar.

Fanatastic film.

Yea I need to find my copy of it, dunno where it went.

Anyone remember this?

Wow those stories both cracked me up.

New to me, good joke!

Got a chuckle out of me.

Ripping good laugh!

Very funny, both of them. More please!!!

I heard that a while ago but it is still funny.

How do you make a 12 year old girl cry twice?



Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

I always said it with boy and 5 year old...