Most Clever Sentence

Well, I just got this weird idea to maybe get some laughs out of people. I have a Fantasy Football league at CBS Sportsline, and on it, all the people in your league can write up their own articles, post pictures, make captions, etc. Its a really neat idea, and I usually write up a few articles a week just to give everyone a laugh, and they all love it.

Well, during my last article, I kinda went over board on sexual innuendoes and ridiculously outlandlish comments about weird personal shit in our lives. That gave me a fun (hopefully) idea for everyone here.

I am going to make a list of odd words, and I want to see who can up with the most creative/funny/interesting sentence/short paragraph using all of them.

Here is the first list of words/phrases:

• Doused in Salad Dressing
  Bandit
  Snorting Mut
  Lust
  Genital Warts

Mine really really sucks, but yeah.

Chris Farley's genital warts are irresistable. When doused in salad dressing, the bandit's lust for them is summed up in just two simple words: Snorting Mut.

I just got some strong Deja Vu.

The Bandit awoke one morning after sleeping with his girl, only to discover he had genital warts. In his lust, he did not check her for STDs prior to getting her doused in salad dressing (which is what he likes to call his man milk). If he hadn't been snorting mut on this cold January evening, this would never have happened.

But it did so he cut off his penis and testicles and started a forum.

Doused in Salad Dressing Bandit Snorting Mut Lust Genital Warts

I just saw on the news that the third bank this month was just robbed.

Yes, the Flashypants bandit. Have you heard of him? Assisted by his trusted sidekick, John Rayes, better known by the underground as Snorting Mut, (a story, I might add, better left unsaid, but I'll throw you a hint: "genital warts") the two seem to have an unquenchable lust for thievery and other misdoings.

Yeah, I've got a lust too. For Wendy's Garden Sensation Salads. When doused in salad dressing, those things are unbelivable.

Unbelievably high in fat. Now shut up. I'm trying to talk here.
There's a new guy on the crime-fighting scene, though. I hear his name is Surge. Will he be the one to save us from the genital woes!?


Oh, hell yeah.

[This story is fictitious. Any characters, names, or events mentioned here are just coincidence.]

Doused in Salad Dressing Bandit Snorting Mut Lust Genital Warts

One day I was walking by with this bandit guy gave me an awkward eye. It seemed as if he were lusting after me. I smacked him across the head with a large trout and then accidently hit him with my samurai sword across the belt. His pants fell down and to my dismay I discovered he had genital warts. Needless to say I ran away like a terrified school girl. I met my friend, who we called "snorting mut" at wendy's, and told him the story. Then I ordered some ceaser salad doused in salad dressing. I went home and turned the TV on, and found out that the bandit I had seen earlier that day was no other than Osama Bin Laden.

I completely forgot what I was going to put here. It was probably something about genital warts and snorting mut. I think something in there was also going to involve something being doused in salad dressing. Could have been bits about a bandit and his lust for something, too. I don't know though, because I forgot.