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Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe his client wrote Stinky Britches ten years ago, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
[Walks up to a chart stand]
Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen, (Pulls down picture of Chewbacca) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wooky from the planet Kishic, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense.
Gerald (Whispering): Dammit.
Chef (Whispering): What?
Gerald (Whispering): He's using the Chewbacca defense.
Johnny Cochrane: Why would a Wooky, an eight-foot-tall Wooky, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense. But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case.
[Jury stares in silence]
Johnny Cochrane: Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case.
[Gerald sinks back and covers his eyes]
Johnny Cochrane: It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I'm am not making any sense. None of this makes sense. And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.
[Silence]
Judge Moses: OK then

[Cartman's House]
Cartman: Wow he's good.
Reporter: In a teary-eyed courtroom, Johnny Cochrane has just finished his closing arguments, and as was anticipated he did use the Chewbacca defense. [Shows drawing of Chef and Gerald, then Judge Moses, then Johnny Cochrane] Whether or not it worked, it's up to the jury to decide.

[Court]
Judge Moses: How find you the jury.
Juror: We find the defendant, Jerome "Chef" Mackaroy, Guilty as charged.
[Court room gasps]
Gerald: Whoops.
Chef: Whoops?!
Judge Moses: Mr. Chef, you've been found guilty of harassing a major record label. The full fee of two million dollars will be handed over within twenty-four hours.
Chef: Do I look like I have two million dollars?
Judge Moses: Well you have twenty-four hours to find it or else you have to go to jail - for eight million years.
[Some music plays. Bailiff whisper something into the judge's ears]
Judge Moses: Oh, sorry. You'll go to jail for four years.
Chef: This can't be happening.