An Assignment

I need quoted from people in real life (you guys count) for "Life lessons". These can be helpful quotes sayings. Some I have now are like:
“When you brush your teeth in the morning with your non-dominant hand, you have a better day.”
(Melanie Kennedy)

“If you wanna look up something bad, turn off safesearch.” (Clem)

“Don't have four kids” (Isaac)

“Raising a teenager is like nailing jello to a tree” (A plaque above the stove)

“Unless it's fatal, it's no big deal” (A plaque above the stove)

“If it walks out of the refrigerator, LET IT GO!” (A plaque above the stove)

“Having children is like being pecked to death by a duck” (A plaque above the stove)

“Having parents is like being stomped to death by an elephant” (A plaque above the stove)