The "Helmet of Pure Thought"
This deluxe item is used to eradicate lustful thoughts from the wearer. The helmet monitors brain waves and emits a nausea-inducing low frequency when sexual thoughts are detected. The wearer can be "tempted" with images of a sexual nature by looking into a visor (sold separately).

The perfect item to test whether your child is pure in thought. (AKA Gay)

Twenty-eight days... six hours... forty-two minutes... twelve seconds. That, is when the world will end.