Godly Can Opener of Dew

2 - 34 Damage
Hit causes monsters to go to church
CANNOT BE USED BY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
all potions becomes Mountain Dew

Sugar Sean's Toe

0 Damage
+2 to all red skills
-3 to douche
ITEM DOES NOT EXIST

"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram