Zelaron Gaming Forum - *racial joke* no offense intended

i haven't read all of these but here goes...

What do you get if you cross a negro with a pakistani ? A car thief that can't drive.
Why does a negro carry shit in his wallet ? For identification.
What's transparent and lies in the gutter ? A pakistani with the shit kicked out of him.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bicycle ? Bicycles don't sing when you put the chains on.
Why do blacks wear high heeled shoes ? So their knuckles don't drag along the ground.
Why do blacks wear wide brimmed hats ? To keep birds from shitting on their lips.
What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a negro ? A dumb gorilla.
What is tattoed inside a nigger's lips ? Inflate to 20psi.
Why do the cars in Brixton have such small steering wheels ? So the blacks can drive with their handcuffs on.
What do you get if you cross a monkey with a nigger ? Nothing, monkeys are too intelligent to f**k niggers.
What's the definition of mass confusion ? Father's day in Brixton.
How many blacks does it take to pave a driveway ? Depends how thin you slice them.
Why do black people smell so bad ? So blind people can hate them too.
What do you call 2 negros in a sleeping bag ? Twix.
Hoe many blacks does it take to change a light bulb ? 5, 1 to change it and 4 to hold the sound equipment.
What have you got when you're up to your ankles in niggers ? Astro turf.
What goes black-pink-black-pink-white ? A negro having a wank.
A reporter walked up to Stevie Wonder and asked him how it felt to have been born blind. Stevie replied "it could have been worse, I could have been born black".
What's black and red and can't go through revolving doors ? An African with a spear through his head.
How do you get a black man out of a tree in Alabama ? Cut the rope.
How do you stop black kids jumping on your bed ? Put velcro on the ceiling.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces ? A black & decker pecker wrecker.
What do you call 7 epileptics in a sleeping bag ? A packet of wrigleys.
What do you call 2 wheel chairs standing together ? A cabbage rack.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair.
What do you call a Cambodian with a swollen foot ? A golf club.
What's the fastest thing on 2 legs ? A chicken being chased by a Cambodian.
Did you hear about the lepers playing cards ? One threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Why did the leper fail his driving test ? He left his foot on he clutch.
What did the leper say to the prostitute ? Keep the tip.
What is a lepers favourite rock-and-roll song ? Footloose.
How can you tell if a leper has been in your shower ? The soap will have grown.
What's the definition of a skeleton ? A leper in a wind tunnel.
What did the Cambodian say to the skeleton that climbed on his back ? Get off you fat bastard.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a post box ? Bill.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a spice-rack ? Herb, or Basil.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea ? Bob.
What do you call a man who always gets shit on ? Lou.
What do you call an epileptic under a pile of leaves ? Russell.
What do you call a man with a spade in his head ? Doug.
And without that spade ? Douglas.
What do you call a girl with no arms or legs drifting down the river ? Flo.
What do you call a girl with no arms or legs stuck on a fence ? Barb.
What do you call 2 men with no arms or legs hanging on a wall ? Kurt 'n' rod.
What's the definition of agony ? A one armed man hanging from a cliff with itchy balls.
How do you make a venetian blind ? Poke him in the eyes.
Did you hear about the guy with 2 wooden legs ? They caught fire and he burned to the ground.
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute ? Neither did he.
Did you hear about the man with 5 pricks ? His pants fit him like a glove.
How do you gate crash a party on a Thames river boat ? Just barge in.
What does NASA stand for ? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What's an astronaut's favourite drink ? Seven-up with a drop of teacjers.
Where do NASA astronauts go for their holidays ? All over Florida.
Why was there only 1 black man on the space shuttle Challenger ? They didn't know it was going to blow up.
What goes 1 2 3 4 98 99 100 ? Lockerbie high street.
How do we know the pilots of Challenger didn't have dandruff ? They found head and shoulders all over the beach.
Have you heard about Salman Rushdie's new book ? Buddha, that fat bastard.
What would Elvis be doing if he were still alive today ? Probably trying to get out of his coffin.
What's Rupert the Bear's middle name ? The.
What do Bernard Mathews and Kermit the Frog have in common ? They both f**k pigs.
What do Winnie the Pooh and Attilah the Hun have in common ? The both have the same middle name.
What was the last thing Michael Ryan's mother said to him ? Would you shoot up the town and get some bread.
Why does Ray Charles smile all the time. He doesn't know he's black.
What was John Lennon's last hit ? The pavement.
What is John Lennon doing these days ? Decomposing.
Why wasn't Christ born in the U.S.A. ? They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
How do you recognise Dolly Partons kids ? They have stretch marks around their mouthes.