Guys, I just got the most bizarre e-mail ever
 

I am Dr. M and I work for Multilingual Search Engine Optimization Inc. in Washington DC - I would like to speak with the person in charge of your international clientele. Who is my contact? Who should I speak to??

In fact, after visiting http://www.zelaron.com , I have noticed that your website cannot be found on foreign search engines (I tested it on Hispanic search engines, German search engines, Asian search engines, etc.) Our company is specialized in multilingual search engine promotions in 28 languages . From the Japanese Google to the German Yahoo, from the AOL in Spanish to the MSN in Chinese, we can show you how to develop a true international online presence by promoting your website on foreign search engines.

Let us show you how to develop a presence on the multilingual web without having to translate your website: It is not necessary to translate your website in order to submit to foreign search engines, however, you need to have at least 1 page in Japanese optimized with Japanese keywords and meta tags in order to submit to Japanese search engines, at least 1 page in Spanish optimized with Spanish keywords in order to submit to Hispanic search engines and so on...

I strongly suggest that you watch our online presentation which will explains clearly how to get top rankings on foreign search engines with only 1 entry page per language (click on the following link or copy-paste it into your web browser): http://www.mplw.net/demo

From the Japanese Google to the German Yahoo, from the AOL in Spanish to the MSN in Chinese, get users to find your website when searching with YOUR KEYWORDS in their Native language.

Please call me at ########### or email me and let's work on giving your website the true international exposure which it deserves to have with foreign native online users!!

Regards,

M, Ph.D.

Multilingual Search Engine Optimization Inc.
http://www.mplw.net
Multilingual Search Engine Promotion Services since 1999.

I took out his name and phone numbers and stuff. Was still really crazy.

post the phone # and we'll get Skurai to call as our representative.

Only if he swears to do it and finds a way to record it.

Why is it always ME???

I'll look for a way to record. But yeah, I'll do it.

My droid has an app you can use to record conversations. Perhaps you have a droid/iphone will the same app.

I don't, unfortunately.
I'm trying to find a way to do it on the computer, or with something we have around the house, but no luck. :/
I'll ask some friends for some of their tools.

Good, because that shit'd be epic. It'd actually make me hate you a lot less.

Call via skype and just set your volume control to "record what you hear"

I'd do it, but my mic output is kaput.

Explain Skype? I have it on my PSP, but I don't know much else. I assume it requires a headset, yeah?

I think I just found a headset. I should be able to get it done monday morning, if I wake up early enough.

Download it on your computer. Skurai if you do this, I will also drop my hatred for you.

But wait! What if he screws it up? :/

How do you screw it up??? the microphone and headphones don't seem to work at the same time. F*ck.

I'm disappointed in you.

You buy a new headset, I'll buy you skype credits.

*thumbs up* Deal. It'll prob'ly take a while, since we're pretty pennyless ATM, but I will have one soon enough.

Bake sale.

Bam! That's why we luv ya, Kagom!

Don't be making fun of me now. Bake sales are amazing money makers.

I wasn't. I've got cookies in the oven ATM.

Don't just do cookies. Bake brownies and a cake that you can cut up into squares. Depending on where you live if you can make a peach cobbler, you could seriously rake in some cash that way.

I want brownies, now...

Make some and sell them. Buy a headset. Then we'll go from there. Do not eat the brownies. But do frost them with vanilla and chocolate icing. Maybe strawberry if you want to be odd, but delicious in demeanor.

Do they make blueberrie icing?

I don't think they do, but more than likely you could find a recipe FOR it online and make it yourself. It'd drive the value of the brownies.

move to cali and sell weed brownies, you'll make more money.

True... how much to get from Illinois to California?

probably about 5-6 trucker blowjobs. idk, ask thanatos he knows exactly.

Network with people out there. Save up about $800-1500 and then get a ticket and see if your networking paid off enough that someone'll let you move in with them.

Makes sense. Would take a while, but I'm sure it would work. I know a girl who's going to college there, so it would be cool to hang with her.

Kiss her ass a little and make yourself the most awesome fagbot friend a girl could want.

Way ahead of you. I'm gonna see if we have any games in common, so we can hang on PSN. Easiest way in the world to get to be hommies, IMO.

*Homies. Hommies are something you get in the back alley behind IHOP.

What's a hommie, then??? D:

Work ong etting a headset ASAP. The guy e-mailed me wondering if I even received word from him.

Oh, right!
All the talk about california, I forgot why I was going.

Wait, we should get Mantra to do this.

Do you really want to hear Carlos Mencia with a lisp?



*edit: George Lopez with a lisp


*edit: Cheech Marin with a lisp


*edit: Antonio Banderez with a lisp


*edit: DO YOU REALLY WANNA HEAR RICKY MARTIN DO THIS SHIT?

I could easily forgive that for the simple fact that some of the shit Mantra comes up with is so outrageously hilarious.

Mantra is merely the human anachronization of the something awful forums, an amalgamation of collective internet wit