Diablo 3 item generator

[Chruser]

Yep, it leaked, and can be found on this url.
http://www.rustedgate.com/d3genv1-2/

Atleast we know what kind of items we can expect in D3 now ;)

[Chruser]

Here's a good example:

Dramatic Brillo Pad of the Walrus
-1 - 4 Damage
Hit causes monsters to have excruciating long death scene
Player's attacks are over-emphisized
Causes monster to look at you oddly

[Killah]

OH MY TOE......

The Mighty Red One's Buttplug
-68 - 0 Damage
+3 to all red skills
Player must see a doctor immediately
Chirp Chirp
CANNOT BE USED UNTIL REPARIED



now this 1 is decent:

Dread Killer Face
90 - 120 Damage
+10000% to damage
Ignore traget's defense
+9000 to attack rating
Item entertains its user with song and dance
Summons gothlings
Gothlings follow you around until killed

[Chruser]

Godly Can Opener of Dew

2 - 34 Damage
Hit causes monsters to go to church
CANNOT BE USED BY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
all potions becomes Mountain Dew

Sugar Sean's Toe

0 Damage
+2 to all red skills
-3 to douche
ITEM DOES NOT EXIST

[Chruser]

Hacked Tea Bag of the Labrodor

16 - 32 Damage
12 sockets
CD Key becomes invalid
+80% to barking

Rake Rattle Rake

50 - 70 damage
+40% leaf resists
+400 to strength
+1 raise skeleton (Necromancer Only)
+1 Summon Iron Gardner

[Chruser]

Vanishing Shrubbery of Spamming

2 - 34 Damage
Hit blinds target
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!

Happily Naked Slime of Cow Runs

16 - 32 Damage
Hit causes monsters to cat call
60% chance monsters will laugh
GET LEG NOW!
GET LEG NOW!
GET LEG NOW!
MAKE PORTAL!
MAKE PORTAL!
MAKE PORTAL!

[Chruser]

GFraizer's Dildo

110 - 230 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints

1.08 Persian Rug

-1 - 4 Damage
50% chance item will be insanely overpowered
50% chance item will be insanely crappy

[Chruser]

Elegant Finger Nail of Treason

12 - 13 Damage
-5 maximum damage
-30 to all skills
Post made on forums describing your mastrubation habits
Newsletter sent to friends with photo of you hugging a teddy bear

Blue Vomit

Elbow
4 - 8 Damage
+2 to all reading skills
Tattoo (40/40 charges)
+4 to damage

[Chruser]

Whore of Leaping Laughter

45 - 89 Damage
Enables flying
unable to attack
Really happy

Only Ring of the Anarchists
1 - 2 Damage
Not unique
Cannot be used
Museum officials come and take your item away
2% to have government hunt you down

[Chruser]

Traveling Pipe of Dupe Scans

-120 - 4 Damage
50% chance item won't be in stash when player logs back in

Da Laz's Chinese Mustard

1 - 3 Damage
+1 to all web skills
+1 to ejactulation
Hit causes monsters to die

[Chruser]

Spam Broom Tube

-1 - 4 Damage
+10000% to damage
Ignore traget's defense
+9000 to attack rating
Hit causes monster to laugh hysterically
All damage is reflected back to you

GFraizer's Ice Tray of Sean's Pants

45 - 84 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints
Ethereal
Indestructable

[Mr.Lee]

LoL fun generator on the site :]

[carbon]

Damn, and i thought this was a real item generator.

[JRwakebord]

Bum of Sexual Frustration
45 - 89 Damage
+3 to strength
-50% to stamina
prone to hit on Charsi

[JRwakebord]

heh heres a good one

Mighty Chicken of Porn
0 - 900 Damage
+3 to strength
30% chance pop up window will appear

[ZERONX]

Lol this is frigged up they should make d3 a sexually oriented game like boner spear and rape attack for barb and magical tit inflation for zons and for assasins umm but plug attack and umm hmm sorcs umm rape me button :P

[Killah]

ROFL....had ur thinkin cap on eh?

[React]

lol they should make a ugly stick where when you hit someone with it they turn ugly :D

[ZERONX]

Hmm necro doesnt need the ugly beetingss they should have ugly maiden and uglyfy and plastic boob armour aka silicone pamela anderson armour

[Mr.Lee]

Hehe a real generator :]
;)

[DBM]

0 - 4 Damage
Hit causes player to talk with a lisp
10% chance of getting caught with Deckard Cain behind Charsi's place

[Chruser]

Yea, I got the deckard cain one about 5 times.
I bet that's all the item generator maker could think about at that day he made it :)

[ZERONX]

LoL i like my ugly maiden idea

[Mr.Lee]

Tube of Treason

0 - 4 Damage
-30 to all skills
Post made on forums describing your mastrubation habits
Newsletter sent to friends with photo of you hugging a teddy bear

[Chruser]

I had that "post and newsletter" thing on another item, but not the -30 to all skills. That's hilarious.

[ZERONX]

lol masturbation

[Randuin]

ROFL, man that's hilarious :D

[ZERONX]

hehe any other ones?

[ZanderQuest]

Nylon Gimp Mask of A Small Man
0 - 4 Damage
-3 to coolness
Summons a small man to follow you around

[ZanderQuest]

HEHHE i wish

Guilty Arkansas Toothpick
45 - 89 Damage
30% chance monsters will apologize for hurting player

[ZanderQuest]

Mediocre Ring
50 - 100 Damage
Party members will call item..."ok

[ZanderQuest]

LoL i thought this one was funny. ehhehe. seeing as how my uncle is a dentist.
Dentist's Ladle of the Heavens
0 - 4 Damage
+6 pain tolerance
+3 to harp playing skills

[ZanderQuest]

Just to let u know this is a set item!!! lol

75 - 80 Damage
+5 to Meph running skills
98% chance will let Lazurus and Dark-Melon borrow item
Predicts the future
Player cannot run

[ZanderQuest]

A RARE!
110 - 230 Damage
Item belongs to Dan
Causes player to sneeze
-30% to skin irritation
30% chance to rip someone off
50% chance item is duped
10% chance of getting trade hacked

[ZanderQuest]

this is just cruel and unusual. well im getting bored of this now. so this is my last one.

Diseased Pig Sticker
0 - 900 Damage
Player contracts Anthrax
hehehehee ANTHRAX

[ZERONX]

Hehe Anthrax :evil:

[ZanderQuest]

yeh thats why i thought it was funny

[ZERONX]

:P your da funny man and omg 20 posts already :P

[Chruser]

Moderators aren't supposed to flame everyone whenever they get an oppertunity to ;)

[ZERONX]

sorry master ill go back to slavery :P

[Hades-Knight]

Testicle of Trading
87 - 230 Damage
30% chance to rip someone off
50% chance item is duped
10% chance of getting trade hacked

[ZERONX]

Your item is:
Anus of Filthiness
2 - 4 Damage
Unable to join a party

rofl

[Valmar]

LOL i got a but plug of worms dont feel like typing the 12 mods on it takes to long o an by the way its a unique ;)

[Mr.Lee]

I liked this generator.
Too bad that the link is dead.

THREAD DIGGING RULEZ

[Hell_SpawN]

Super Echoing Sword of the nOOb

+100 to your a Noob
*45% to "STFU NooB"
*500% to "Quit Pk'ing me NooB"
*1000% to "Smile on your face when you get called noob after playing game for 4 years"

[Lazurus]

I know it's old, but I reposted the generator on my server so you can get back to it :)

Laz

http://www.rustedgate.com/d3genv1-2/

Sorry about the down time. I was fixing crap.

[Mr.Lee]

Wohoo!!!! Its BACK! Prays you Lazurus!!!

[Lazurus]

I'll be adding a LOT of new things to it soon enough (especially after the new patch comes out. All kinds of fun material to use from that)

Wailing Prostitute
50 - 100 Damage
Complain (2/2 charges)

[Cereal Killa]

Blue Coconut of the Cheese Wedge

87 - 120 Damage
Summons Darkrose Golem to mope about
Causes constipation

Rock

45 - 84 Damage

Alarm Clock of Ohio

4 - 5 Damage
+4 to all skills for not living in the south

[SoD-John]

i made this one up:

Running Sword of the NooB
133-300 Damage
75% Chance to get scammed

100% Chance item will drop off body if equipped after death before you pick up body

99.99% Chance to get Ripped off

100% Chance all the chances are 100%

[SoD-John]

Rotting Dagger of Decapitation
75 - 80 Damage
10% chance appendage will fall off during successful attack
Hit causes you to die

[SephirothSoul]

Hidden Rake of the Anarchists
87 - 120 Damage
Item becomes lost in inventory
2% to have government hunt you down

Dead General Tso Chicken of the Ghetto
0 - 4 Damage
ITEM CANNOT BE USED
Yo.. you be smackin dem bitches up like it ain't no thang!

Powdered Asian of Premature Ejaculation
54 - 60 Damage
Causes player to sneeze
-30% to skin irritation
Charsi is now mad at you

Orgasmic Claws of Tittilation
75 - 80 Damage
Hit causes monsters to get off
+3 to fridge raid
Hero now uses "tittilation" in every sentence

[J_Frog]

Coconut of Arousal
87 - 120 Damage
Hit causes monsters to be aroused

[uncapped]

Not funny.

[Ganga]

How old is this shit?

[JiDDaR]

hehe nice generator :D

GFraizer's Altoids Tin of Defecation
0 - 4 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints
+1 to poison skills
30% resistance to Gogaltha Deamons


Hacked Slut
0 Damage
12 sockets
CD Key becomes invalid


Invisible Pubic Hair of Sexual Frustration
0 - 900 Damage
ITEM DOES NOT EXIST
+3 to strength
-50% to stamina
prone to hit on Charsi


Yellow Condom of Cardboard
42 - 42 Damage
Hit causes monsters to flee
Item is made of PAPER!!

Rusty Bubble of Spamming
2 - 34 Damage
Cannot be repaired
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!
GIVE ITEM!

[platnum]

Holy Stomper
Buttplug
1 - 2 Damage
Item belongs to Godslyer
We ran out of ideas
Item tries to seak counciling
Hit causes monsters to slit their wrists
+30 to haiku writing skills

Fire Gnome
Nipple Clamp
16 - 32 Damage
Item belongs to Godslyer
We ran out of ideas
ITEM DOES NOT EXIST
Hit causes monsters to be aroused

[Mr.Lee]

How old is this shit?

Diablo II is old too but it aint shit. The generator aint shit either.

[User667]

Humorous Pipe Wrench of Dubious Glee 12 - 13 Damage
Hit causes monster to laugh hysterically
This item greatly pleases you
Or does it?

Pipe of the South
0 - 4 Damage
Kicked from Realm
Character deleted

[Ganga]

ok... I rephase my sentence. How old is this thread?

[Mr.Lee]

Check the first post...

[LimeDeMoN]

Phat Lava Lamp of Sean's Pants
50 - 100 Damage
Grants 1337 53rv3r 4cc355
Ethereal
Indestructable

[Pyro]

GFraizer's Dildo

110 - 230 Damage
+1 to all moderating skills
+30% to ego
Ignore target's complaints
ROFLMAO

Pubic Hair of Leaping Laughter
4 - 5 Damage
Enables flying
unable to attack
Really happy

Abused Tulip of Ohio
0 - 4 Damage
Hit causes monsters to seek counseling
+4 to all skills for not living in the south

Horadric Chainsaw of Meph Runs
86 - 123 Damage
Allows player to kill Deckard Cain
8000% chance to find magic items
5000% enhanced damaged to demons
Player becomes reclusive

[badboy]

ok... I rephase my sentence. How old is this thread?

This thread is from February of 2002...and alot of the posters on the first 2 or so pages aren't here anymore.

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Cruel Blade Of Extacy
Hit causes monsters to pee
+1 To inheatment skill
-10 Targets Clothes
Ignore Targets Shouts
400% ED Pleasure
24% Resists Arrest
+1 Get out of jail free card
-6 Probation Violation
+12 Life in prison

[sheerx]

Pipe Wrench of the Ghetto
42 - 42 Damage
Yo.. you be smackin dem bitches up like it ain't no thang!

Grotesque Bubble of Feces
8 - 16 Damage
Hit causes monsters to vomit
Poop

Grotesque Bubble of Feces
8 - 16 Damage
Hit causes monsters to vomit
Poop

Ghastly Modem of Suffocation
87 - 120 Damage
Hit causes monsters to scream
Light radius steadily decreases
-100% life

Angry Shrubbery
42 - 42 Damage
Hit causes monster to bitch slap you
Party members will now "step to you"

haha love these

[sheerx]

Bloated Net of Wisconsin
89 - 96 Damage
Hit causes target to quit taking water pills
-30 vs female targets (PMS)
+3 to cheese making skills
Ladle of the Pimp
89 - 96 Damage
+3 to Pimping skills
Summons ho's
+900% to find gold

these are entertaining!!