The Matrix had him!!!

[Sovereign]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1103/matrixrevolutions.html

[Anman]

Grrr... People like that give real christians bad names.

[‡AC‡]

Makes me proud to be atheist.

[HandOfHeaven]

Baptists aren't Christians, numbnuts. I got a good laugh from it.

[Demosthenes]

Baptists aren't Christians, numbnuts. I got a good laugh from it.

I always thought they were.

Anyway, this can't be real. This is just tii damned far-fetched. Who the fuck is that stupid?

Wilkins reported that he and his wife became suspicious earlier in the week after Geoffrey started to ask them if he could see the new Matrix Revolutions movie. "It bothered us terribly, since the boy knew full well that True Christians™ are not to visit picture houses, ever!" said Mrs. Wilkins. “Especially for troublemaking communist propaganda about revolutions!” The concerned couple searched Geoffrey's room for signs of occult activity and found dozens of science fiction videos and comic books, and Magic occult trading cards. "We even found a stash of his old Pokemon pocket demons he tried to hide under his mattress along with a naughty National Geographic magazine and a Ziploc baggy full of grass clippings," said Pastor.

I think someone has been living in an Amish paradise way too long.

[Slim]

Well, if this is real then Baptists are Christians. I mean, it says "True Christians" right in the damn thing.

If this is real, I'm glad I'm staying the fuck away from religion.

[timmay1113]

Christian Takes up all protestant and catholic denominations. They all believe in christ so therefor are christians.

[Demosthenes]

Just found out that it's fake.

[KagomJack]

Thank you for saying something, I was just about to post that the Landover Baptist site is a fake site. It's a parody. Why else would they sell bumperstickers that says "My priest molested your honor student" They just do stupid shit to make fun of Christians, etc.

[Anman]

Which I happen to find rather sad.

Baptists aren't Christians, numbnuts. I got a good laugh from it.
No, Baptists are more christian thatn Catholics. And mormons, but they dont count. Damn that Jhon Smiths ice breath.

[KagomJack]

ha ha ha ha! Baptists aren't more Christian than Catholics my friend. The thing is, there's not contest as to who is more Christian. But I will say this, Baptists are very anal and here's an old saying I find true: When baptists go in a liquor store, they wear trenchcoats and try to hide their faces so they can't be recognized, however, when Catholics go into said liquor store, they just wave and say "Hi"

[KagomJack]

(sorry to double post, yell at me for it mods if you want, etc.)

Mormons aren't christian. Christians all hold several chief doctrines to belief (such as trinity and other things). Mormons have many unbiblical beliefs, such as Satan and Jesus being biological brothers, that the Jews were the first people over here, that all Indians were originally white and turned red because of god's anger, and they were special underwear for no real reason.

[tokill.ace]

What the hell?

[Slim]

Baptists are very anal
So you're a baptist?

[KagomJack]

ha ha ha...

that wasn't really funny dude :P you can do better.

[Anman]

Christians, those who beleive there jesus died for the peoples sins. Mormons acknowledge his existance. Thus, the world calls them christians, givin them a bad name. The christians that is.

[KagomJack]

actually, there's more to it, Anman. Mormonism is a cult that doesn't believe what most mainstream Christians belive, thus they are not Christian.

[Anman]

I agree on that, but try to take things from a more .. Um.. Capitalist pig point of view?

Dictionary.com:

Chris·tian Audio pronunciation of "christian" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (krschn)
adj.

1. Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
2. Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus's teachings.
3. Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.
4. Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.

They fill at least one of the above criterias, so acording to the 'law of man' they are considered christians.

But that aside, seems you have a deep understanding of christianty and god in general. Care to explain why?

[==Nit5u4==]

God is just god plain and simple.

[platnum]

Dude, baptist is black people church. Ya know where they stand up and say "Praise the lord!" and "Can I get a amen?!"

[Tyrannicide]

Dude, baptist is black people church. Ya know where they stand up and say "Praise the lord!" and "Can I get a amen?!"
and, "god why, why am I a nigger? WHY you blackass god?"

pft, god this argument is retarded.

[HandOfHeaven]

I hate baptists. Go die, Anman.

[Anman]

I will die... I still want KagomJacks answer though.

[Slim]

No, he won't marry you. He already has plans to marry Mantra in two years.

[Anman]

Damn... Oh well. We cant have everything.

[KagomJack]

...that's not even funny dude...if it had been someone else, it might've been funny...

[Grav]

Cry, bitch. I can tell how it annoys you so.

Anyway, Slim got a "Good One" point for his earlier comment.

[KagomJack]

it doesn't annoy me...just the thought of marrying mantra, even if it is a joke, is very horrific in nature. I'd rather be sliced into pieces by a maniac than marry, or even touch Mantra.

[Anman]

Seems you hate Mantra more than me... Or mabye me equaly.

[KagomJack]

I don't hate anyone. I just have a strong disliking for you two. The dislike for Mantra is stronger.

[Anman]

I have to admit, that is rather reasuring. I thought Id have to keep playing the vulrenable retard forever.

[Raziel]

Baptists aren't Christians, numbnuts. I got a good laugh from it.

"Baptists aren't Christians." For the love of Crap...

[Anman]

Yeah, some people..
------------------------
Dictionary.com

baptist

\Bap"tist\, n. [L. baptista, G. ?] 1. One who administers baptism; -- specifically applied to John, the forerunner of Christ. --Milton.

2. One of a denomination of Christians who deny the validity of infant baptism and of sprinkling, and maintain that baptism should be administered to believers alone, and should be by immersion. See Anabaptist.

[tokill.ace]

Agreed. GG no Re