View Full Version : funny dueling stories
tidus2005
2003-02-13, 08:35 AM
i thought that i should start a thread for ppl to post some funny dueling stories especialy after what happened last night..
well i was dueling last night in a public game with my necro and a lvl 98 barb comes in and starts to own everyone well i was just stand in town and talking to one of my friends and then everyone in the game except the barb,and me joins the party to try and kill him. Well it didnt work for them. so then the barb is braggin and nking them to take their gold. so i tell him that it isnt nice to nk ppl then he starts mouthing off to me and saying how much he will own me. i said ok if u think so. i go over and look at his stuff and he has some bugged valor and a 915 ith cb. well i go out of town and cast iron maiden on him then surround myself with bone walls. i didnt realize that he was such a newb and he tries to ww strait to me through all the bone walls. when he died and it said that he was killed by an evil force he calls me a hacker because he never dies, he also asks me where the evil force is, so i tell him that i am the evil force this just pissed him off even more so he got his body and i cursed him again and i keep owning him. so he calls me a newb and leaves.
So the moral of this story is that newbs should not use iths.
platnum
2003-02-16, 06:50 PM
So the moral of this story is that newbs should not use iths.
haha
heh, one time me nate and another friend were all pally dueling when some jackass joins our game with a white/hex zon. So i get my zon and come to own his ass. While im getting my zon nate gets his sorc. I go out there and have a nice little jav batlle and right before i win nate comes running in and starts nova and orbing a white zon!. so i soon die and call nate a noob. About 10 minutes later i barrow about 30 hexing charms and some whites on my sorc and hunt the bish down then 1 hit the bitch with my occy.
Moral of the story, "dont fuck with Gsus".
(this thread could be pretty cool, someone should sticky this)
zethilone
2003-02-17, 12:05 AM
My favorie dueling storie was when I joined a game called duel. When I joined I found that everyone was in a party. I was a hight level, level 98, about 10 levels higher then everone eles. So...I decided to hostile everyone. I go out of town and guard the entrince. The like all 6 people walk out at the same time. Sudenly a huge lagg spike comes and I frooze for about 9 secs. I will about to reboot my comp when BANG, flashflashflash my TunderStorm killed all of them everone was looking at the 6 dead bodies right near me and calling me a hacker.
What I used:
1. Bugged valor
2. Bugged string
3. 2x Occyrings
4. Ith Crystal Sword
What I think:
Must of been a serverside lag but it was funny ass hell seen all thoughs people just sudenly die out of nowhere.
Moral:
If you are brave and willing to take a lot of people on, you just may get lucky enough to get all of em.
I total agree with Gsus STICKY THIS!
Mantralord
2003-02-17, 12:11 AM
My favorite dueling story is when my friend is in a Low Level Duels game and i come with my bugged out zon, declare hostility on all the lvl 33 kids, then fire a few multi-shots and watch like 6 people die.
My Zon uses:
120/40 ias
Zephyr
Bloodtree armor
Soulflay gauntlets
Cliffkiller ammy
bugged string
c-grips
gore riders
inventory full of 290 spc's
So i win.
Pekson
2003-02-17, 04:42 AM
Heres one great and old dueling story.......................i killed myself
Moral of the story is..............dont talk to flying monkeys...............
"CRØNîC-KîLLå"
2003-02-17, 04:56 AM
here is one story, i was playing hc, just mindin my own buisness and a bloody run was about to start, as usual u allways have a pk'er, i realized my char was semi-out of town, maybe she was, maybe she wasnt, i said to myself, o well i only be 1 min getting a cofee, what i didnt realize is, when i got back i had killed a pk'er, well i wouldn't say i did.... my MERC actually did, while i was semi out side town, it was close enough for my nm merc to go into bloody and kill the bitch of a pk'er
moral of story, if you think your tough shit, at least think you arent , that way when you get owned by someones merc, it will be shameless.
platnum
2003-02-17, 07:43 AM
one time back when i was a compleat noob i was deuling/w a buriza, some dude come in the game /w white rings, gloves, cliffkiller ammy, zepherbow adn p shaft, he talllks about how we are a bunch of n00bs (the name of the game was noob deuling) he hostled me, and i pwnd him.
moral: dont fuck /w buriza
Ganga
2003-02-17, 08:28 AM
errr ok these are not funny stories, everyone just trying to show off here, 1 or 2 are maybe.
Mr.Lee
2003-02-17, 08:36 AM
LoL platnum, did you killd him like 1 time? While he owned rest of ya.
natedowgg
2003-02-17, 08:48 AM
gsus stole my story... so here's a funny story NOT about dueling...
One day I got tired of taking notes in class so i hired a monkey to take them for me. I sat there eating and sleeping while the monkey scribbled away on tiny pieces of paper. When the teacher came to collect the notes she got very angry because all the monkey had written was "Oot Oot I'm a Monkey! Can I have a banana?" Then the teacher got mad and made me re-write my notes. And with that story i learned to Never Trust A Monkey!
"CRØNîC-KîLLå"
2003-02-17, 09:05 AM
plz keep on topic...
KRØÑÏx
2003-02-17, 10:03 AM
there was a barb in a game with bugged eye of elitch giving him unlimited life or somehting. we had 7 people blasting him away with wf's yet he takes no dmg!
platnum
2003-02-17, 10:24 AM
LoL platnum, did you killd him like 1 time? While he owned rest of ya.
yup lol
edit:100TH POST!!!
Mr.Lee
2003-02-17, 10:34 AM
Congrats :)
Eddie_Perez
2003-02-17, 02:36 PM
one time back when i was a compleat noob i was deuling/w a buriza, some dude come in the game /w white rings, gloves, cliffkiller ammy, zepherbow adn p shaft, he talllks about how we are a bunch of n00bs (the name of the game was noob deuling) he hostled me, and i pwnd him.
moral: dont fuck /w buriza
what realm? cuz I thought there werent any white rings on east, and no zypher on west? so wha?
KRØÑÏx
2003-02-17, 02:50 PM
bariza would be the best bow in the game iff it was as fast as wf . its just too damn slow for me
gsus stole my story...
lol, how is that story in anyways urs...its mine!
dirkdig
2003-02-17, 10:11 PM
About 10 minutes later i barrow about 30 hexing charms and some whites on my sorc and hunt the bish down then 1 hit the bitch with my occy.
Moral of the story, "dont fuck with Gsus".
(this thread could be pretty cool, someone should sticky this)
Wow you must feel real talented. You have joined the mob of hexing newbs that don't have the talent to win a fair fight so they rig it so they can have one-hit kills, and can't get hurt.
How does it feel to shoot fish in a barrel? One could compare you to someone who gets his ass kicked at school so he goes home and beats up on 3 year olds so he can feel tough and strong. The moral of the story is that if you can't win without hexing, then don't duel, it wrecks the game for everyone else.
dirkdig
2003-02-17, 10:16 PM
Here's my funny story:
1) Ith barb insults me, calls me a newb, hostiles me.
2) Ith barb looks at my gear and laughs when he sees I'm legit.
3) Ith barb was slain by suxorO_o
4) Repeat as desired.
Mr.Lee
2003-02-18, 02:28 AM
http://hem.passagen.se/darken85/forum/notfunny2.txt
zethilone
2003-02-19, 02:51 PM
gsus stole my story... so here's a funny story NOT about dueling...
One day I got tired of taking notes in class so i hired a monkey to take them for me. I sat there eating and sleeping while the monkey scribbled away on tiny pieces of paper. When the teacher came to collect the notes she got very angry because all the monkey had written was "Oot Oot I'm a Monkey! Can I have a banana?" Then the teacher got mad and made me re-write my notes. And with that story i learned to Never Trust A Monkey!
U git that from Brack!
Eddie_Perez
2003-02-19, 06:21 PM
About 10 minutes later i barrow about 30 hexing charms and some whites on my sorc and hunt the bish down then 1 hit the bitch with my occy.
Moral of the story, "dont fuck with Gsus".
(this thread could be pretty cool, someone should sticky this)
Wow you must feel real talented. You have joined the mob of hexing newbs that don't have the talent to win a fair fight so they rig it so they can have one-hit kills, and can't get hurt.
How does it feel to shoot fish in a barrel? One could compare you to someone who gets his ass kicked at school so he goes home and beats up on 3 year olds so he can feel tough and strong. The moral of the story is that if you can't win without hexing, then don't duel, it wrecks the game for everyone else.
says the one getting nked/laughed at/and compleatly owned... true, the bugged shit is getting out of hand, but its not fun to get owned by everyone, because they all use bugged... Only people who dont are the people whinning on the side about it.
`Insolence`
2003-02-20, 08:28 PM
K u can stfu now, godly pvp own ithers, ive seen it plenty of times, unless its.. all out impossible (in very few cases). LvL 98 ith pally joins pala, i check his gear see iths, bugged string, the works. Druid says no iths, he says say that to my face, walks out, 3 seconds later atleast, hes dead on the ground with all his gear sitting next to his body. Tell me thats not funny?
PuNk dadEO
2003-02-22, 12:58 PM
1st post is funny :P
-Spector-
2003-02-23, 02:00 PM
I have a level 65 zon that owned a 95 zon and a 90 sorc... im legit and the best thing she has is a goldy.......They called me a newb. I don't get it..wen u own someone they call u a newb... isnt it supposed to be the other way? (btw nice sig punk)
Ganga
2003-02-23, 02:59 PM
bug items , legit items , hack items, they all just items where u can get from the trade channel , i dont see any differnt. before we use wf now we use bug bow. the world is changing , too bad you cant keep up.
KRØÑÏx
2003-02-23, 03:16 PM
um no , that sig isnt nice, its a complete rip off of aopq's sig
Eddie_Perez
2003-02-23, 06:29 PM
bug items , legit items , hack items, they all just items where u can get from the trade channel , i dont see any differnt. before we use wf now we use bug bow. the world is changing , too bad you cant keep up.
quote inserted in D2 Bible....
DragonDPT
2003-02-24, 08:03 PM
legit barb owning bugged equip barb & zon double teaming... funny? no? queer? or is it just dat i got skillz... or used to anyways... my friend stole my old account... :angry:
[EDIT]
if you think dat dis is bs, den u r right. lol
tidus2005
2003-02-27, 08:39 AM
i have a legit sorc that owns all kind of ith/bugged ppl and when i get owned by a zephy 160/60 ias zon with bugged valor i just say good duel and then i go out and try again. i feel a sense of pride that i can own ith/bugged people with my totaly legit sorc.
dirkdig
2003-02-27, 11:29 AM
bug items , legit items , hack items, they all just items where u can get from the trade channel , i dont see any differnt. before we use wf now we use bug bow. the world is changing , too bad you cant keep up.
Maybe its that these items make dueling pointless, because they are so overpowered it makes certain classes impossible to win with. Before you used raven spirals, now you use white rings.
Tell me how its possible for a sorc to beat a white zon using wf + xfactor + hexing.
Back when people used legit, it took skill to duel. Now it takes purely items, so that any newb with 50$ to spend on ebay can be 1337 and laugh as he pk's legit duelers.
`Insolence`
2003-02-27, 02:17 PM
Dueling = skill, not items.. get that into your fucking newb heads.
tidus2005
2003-02-28, 06:08 AM
i have to agree with that i have seen many legit people own newb ith/bugged users simply because of the skill/strategy involved.
alot of ith users and ebayers say that to
"if you were any good you could kill me." "you use legit and im hacked if you don't got the skill to kill me you suck"
they are all fools, if they didn't have the items they would be on the same level of ability
N-C-DeathWind
2003-02-28, 03:52 PM
gsus stole my story... so here's a funny story NOT about dueling...
One day I got tired of taking notes in class so i hired a monkey to take them for me. I sat there eating and sleeping while the monkey scribbled away on tiny pieces of paper. When the teacher came to collect the notes she got very angry because all the monkey had written was "Oot Oot I'm a Monkey! Can I have a banana?" Then the teacher got mad and made me re-write my notes. And with that story i learned to Never Trust A Monkey!
ROFL:rofl:
N-C-DeathWind
DragonDPT
2003-03-01, 03:30 PM
items do matter tho... lets say u didnt have a stormshield, and used something else... like a buckler or something... i'd love to see u own a barb that will be nice enuff to wack you and not ww u.
yes, thats my whole point but heres another example
someone has
ith sword that does 550 1handed damage
someone has
cruel colossus blade 300% shael shael-eth
who do you think will win more duels in general if they both have same Exact gear besides sword, and Both have same level of skill.
l337 l3alla
2003-03-02, 02:12 AM
uhhh...ith? ^_^
DragonDPT
2003-03-02, 06:28 AM
Dueling = skill, not items.. get that into your fucking newb heads.
items do matter tho... lets say u didnt have a stormshield, and used something else... like a buckler or something... i'd love to see u own a barb that will be nice enuff to wack you and not ww u.
yes, thats my whole point but heres another example
someone has
ith sword that does 550 1handed damage
someone has
cruel colossus blade 300% shael shael-eth
who do you think will win more duels in general if they both have same Exact gear besides sword, and Both have same level of skill.
To insolence: ITEMS DO MATTER AT TIMES.
its only if there are 2 identical characters with the same equip, etc etc. then it takes skill and stat distribution.
undeadzombieguy
2003-03-02, 09:28 AM
of course items matters... items matters the most in
duels where both players use melee skills like zeal or fury coz u only use 1 skill and just have to press ur mousebutton and hold it u dont need any skill for doing that
skill also refers to intelligence
thats why my druid who has lesser damage and no eth can still beat an ith druid who might do 2x dmg and have eth, because his druid was poorly setup, and mines has a good basis and balance of fhr/hp/ar/etc
tidus2005
2003-03-03, 05:53 AM
my sorc could own most of u with a buckler simply because i would kill u before u could hit me. so items do matter but only if you are going to get hit.
`Insolence`
2003-03-03, 06:24 AM
tidus, id like to duel u with a naked silence amazon, 1.4k life, in nm with somewhat decent res, idc who u think you are, buckler = no fcr = i hit u = you lose. Sit down.
Items DO matter, atleast to an extent, when u can get 320+ life from your skill charms and 320 life and 270 mana from your small charms with a sorc, than you got a bad ass sorc right there. And all just from charms...
My paladin had shit life a week ago, now i made a new one (more stat conservant) and at lvl 66 with 20 new 3/20/20 charms he already has 1.1k life..
yes with a buckler, but what if you are naked? i doubt you'll be doing /enough/ ts/orb/hydra/etc damage to kill a decent dueler
depending on your build, for instance a pure vit sorc with +skill, not block or dr, you can probably kill someone in fewer ts's but if they catch you once you are dead
tidus2005
2003-03-05, 05:59 AM
yeah i have alot of dex so i could block with a buckler and i have decent + to skills. the only problem i would have would be not having enough fhr.
redcomet
2003-03-05, 08:51 AM
Way back when i started on d2 I went into a random pk game there was a barb and other various noob chars including me. The barb was ultra rich and he said if we all lined up for him to ww us then we would get free stuff..so we let him kill us like 30 times then he gave us all an soj. Moral?? hmm....don't have one here.
Titusfied
2003-03-05, 08:53 AM
See, now that is actually the first funny dueling story I've read in this thread.
Although, I've only read like 7 posts so far... ;)
i play clasic so theres no bugged stuff anyway
i was duelin with my lvl64 scorc against this 86, i was getin owned (i did kill the 86 a few times) neway i said well iam done i'll fight some of these lvl 36's in the room
i leave and get my 40 necro the 86 not realizing its me hostiles me
will i go along with it i go out and start running my a$$ off (the 86 was a fire scorc) i run into the fire wall i died she said it was lvl 27 or so neway i avioded it then i just unleashed about 30 lvl 27 bone sprits low and behold i killed her not sure how, luck ,neway i got owned badly after my lvl 40 necro killed a 86 and pissed her off
DragonDPT
2003-03-12, 02:12 PM
http://hem.passagen.se/darken85/forum/notfunny2.txt
l337 l3alla
2003-03-12, 09:36 PM
ewww...what a corny story
sry if thats considered a flame
tidus2005
2003-03-23, 12:14 PM
yeah i am thinking about playing classic in order to get away from all of this hacked bull shit.
Chruser
2003-03-24, 09:04 AM
I recall using a HC druid in hell difficulty, and I used the old druid hack (based on raising the skill levels temporarily by using an item or two) to crash the other seven players and let five of them die before they all timed out.
Not exactly a dueling story, but it entertained my sadistic and immoral self.
i play druids alot crusher and yes whenever a game is about to drop i kill 4+buggers : ~/ just to raise my self esteem
tidus2005
2003-04-21, 02:25 AM
does the druid bugg still work? i thought that it was patched, arent u talking about the one where u raise a summon to lvl 35 and it causes the other ppl to get an error?
the error no longer exists but skills past 32 (shapeshift tree) give no added effect
Hell_SpawN
2003-05-12, 06:46 PM
him off even more so he got his body and i cursed him again and i keep owning him. so he calls me a newb and leaves.
lol figures..what is it with calling someone a noob..its like a 3rd grader calling someone boogynose:confused:
Seliggy
2003-06-11, 08:47 AM
Once i came in a game called Duel x. I hostiled all the ppl in the game and started to kill. They were all noobs exept 1 sorc lvl 86. When i was dueling a BVA barb the sorc came to me and orbed me like 10 times. The barb hit me and i was trying to escape so i tele further into the Blood Moor. There, when my pc was MEGA lagging i was killed by a zombie.....:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
quikspy67
2003-06-11, 08:58 AM
Id be lying if i said i wasn't a n()()b.
badboy
2003-06-14, 04:03 PM
One story I had recently was when I was killing cows with my 800 mf sorc and was owning all the cows before everyone else could even hit them they like all got pissed of and decided to duel me. So, I went along with it and owned all of them except one zon who had bcon, bvalor, etc and she didn't ever kill me just took my life down with poison so I went to town and said hey you win. So, I left the game and they all whispered me saying "haha u newb i owned your stupid noob ass" and I was like what the hell, do only 9 year olds play Diablo 2 anymore. Guess it's not a funny story just pisses me off how people can think anything with dueling in softcore has anything to do with how good a person is.
ouroboros
2003-06-21, 03:53 AM
of course items matters... items matters the most in
duels where both players use melee skills like zeal or fury coz u only use 1 skill and just have to press ur mousebutton and hold it u dont need any skill for doing that
backstepping/shift attacking
timing
positioning summons
attacking their summons
cycling auras
Dueling is comprised of
1/5th Experience/Knowledge
1/5th Reflexes/Focus/Skill
1/5th Gear/Charms/Weapons
1/5th PCperformance/Latency
1/5th Luck
undeadzombieguy
2003-06-21, 11:50 AM
of course items matters... items matters the most in
duels where both players use melee skills like zeal or fury coz u only use 1 skill and just have to press ur mousebutton and hold it u dont need any skill for doing that
backstepping/shift attacking
timing
positioning summons
attacking their summons
cycling auras
Dueling is comprised of
1/5th Experience/Knowledge
1/5th Reflexes/Focus/Skill
1/5th Gear/Charms/Weapons
1/5th PCperformance/Latency
1/5th Luck
ur right i was wrong :rolleyes:
ouroboros
2003-06-21, 01:23 PM
that's the patronizing crap i love to hear :)
its more like all of that but some things overcompensate
for example if you have really amazing ping like, 20 (o_O)
you can use pretty bad gear not have reflexs and no knowledge
and it can work same for any of those attributes really..
ouroboros
2003-06-22, 02:06 PM
i was referring to this
Dueling = skill, not items.. get that into your fucking newb heads.
gold draco57
2008-03-02, 03:54 PM
Wow you must feel real talented. You have joined the mob of hexing newbs that don't have the talent to win a fair fight so they rig it so they can have one-hit kills, and can't get hurt.
How does it feel to shoot fish in a barrel? One could compare you to someone who gets his ass kicked at school so he goes home and beats up on 3 year olds so he can feel tough and strong. The moral of the story is that if you can't win without hexing, then don't duel, it wrecks the game for everyone else.
ok well i was reading this and id like to say not all hackers r n00bs or w/e. i used to play legit but then i joined a diablo run and went to kill diablo.i go into town to heal and this gay hacked fag pops thru the wp w/ a bunch of auras. i go up and he hostiles and turns on a town kill and body popper. nxt thing i kno all my items r all over the ground. i was a lvl 80 full legit classic.that is wat made me a haxer.also it proves that theres hax in classic.
also now ive owned town killed and poped tons of legits/hax/and super hax g0dlys and im thinkin ill take my godly bitches(over 200) onto classic to take my revenge:mad: :mad: :killgrin: :killgrin: :killgrin:
Asamin
2008-03-03, 12:58 PM
ok well i was reading this and id like to say not all hackers r n00bs or w/e. i used to play legit but then i joined a diablo run and went to kill diablo.i go into town to heal and this gay hacked fag pops thru the wp w/ a bunch of auras. i go up and he hostiles and turns on a town kill and body popper. nxt thing i kno all my items r all over the ground. i was a lvl 80 full legit classic.that is wat made me a haxer.also it proves that theres hax in classic.
also now ive owned town killed and poped tons of legits/hax/and super hax g0dlys and im thinkin ill take my godly bitches(over 200) onto classic to take my revenge:mad: :mad: :killgrin: :killgrin: :killgrin:
This kind of stuff happend to me a lot. and I didn't even get killed by a haker. just a high lvl that desided to piss low lvls off while they are trying to kill something.
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