Serious venting being done...

Well, im just going to expect everyone to have the slightest bit of respect for me, atleast if you dont then show a little.

Yeah grav, im just going to tell you, that i can not tell to friends that would read my xanga what I could tell to zelaron. You guys have been with me for almost three fucking years of my life. That is almost 1/4th of my life. You dont understand how much I love this website. back to the venting

I have been going out with this girl lauren for a while, hence my short presence on zelaron.

I dont really think she likes me as much as I do but it was really her who 'asked me out'... The point is, i just want to know if she likes me as much as I like her...

Im going to a slipknot/shadows concert on friday and she is going to be with her friend so we arent going to be going to hang out or go to the movies or anything... The thing is... we were talking and some random girls always hit me up on aim and tell me how 'hott' my friend sean is, and I always say something witty like "take a ticket, your number 421", and so I was telling Lauren about this, and she says "yeah i know, everyone likes sean, I even think hes cute", and im just trying to take this and so I said "yeah if I was a girl maybe i'd think the same thing"... Anyways, so then she was talking with sean, and trust me sean does absolutly NO harm.. Me and him have been friends for ever and we are tighter than ever right now, he is the kinda friend that will actually call me when I dont show up at school just to see whats up... but anyways, Ive always given him shit, like i'd mock him and say stuff like "ah im doing your girlfriend", beccuase ive never really been the ladies man i'd want to be, and so he does the same thing to me and my girlfriends..and lauren didnt seem to care.. so the point is... she just seems like we are close friends, not really going out.. i dont expect our relationship to get far at all but dont reply with "your only like 13", because there are pleanty of 13 year olds in my school secksing it up.. i just want to know if she really likes me as much as it seems, i mean she always tells me she misses me and stuff, and all of that bullshit.. but.. i just dont know anymore

i also feel like life is moving too fast.. ill catch myself breaking down sometimes, today i was just so frustrated and angered i had the most energy ive ever felt.. i ran all the way across town, and all the way back.. i just felt like I was being sucked in of something.... I also want to play rugby next year, but fucking ill be in 7th grade, my brother will be graduating next year, hes getitng a house, he is making 1000 dollar paychecks, and his girlfriend is making 900$ paychecks. I am going to miss the fuck out of him. I know this is just the beginning of a teenage life and everything but im beginning to hate it.. i just really wouldnt want to see anybody trying to fuck with me tthis next week or so because im just so fucking angry all of the time...

which leads me to another thing i think I am going to come down with some kind of depression or some kind of anger difficulty, im thinking i am Bi-Polar just becuase of how i react about things, when I repeat myself, i fucking scream it.. im getting irritated because people putting stuff in my seat before I sit down, and my friend i've been friends with for almost 5-6 years did it, and usually i love him to death.. but he only put a small pizza crust in my seat before I sat down and i told himt o his face that if he doesnt go away hes going to bleed all over himself, and i just felt like something im not.. I dont want to be bi-polar becuase my dad was bi-polar and if any of you talk to me on AIM then you know what I mean by i dont want to be bi-polar.. my dad is fucking a monster when hes drunk or anything.. he is one of the main causes .. ive grown up without a father and so has my brother.. i feel like im just going to kill myself... just typing this i feel like shit i think im going to go to sleep now because im tired of typing my bullshit life

i dont even know why im going to press submit new thread, because there is only bad that can come from this.. i just hope you guys have the same respect I have for anyone else here, and think about it before you enter something that could break me down because its probabaly not something i would do to you

Welcome to adolesence. And I mean that in the most non-mocking way possible. Life starts getting tough in your teenage years. Mine did, my friends' did, and though I doubt they will admit it, I'm absolutely certain that everyone here has felt like you do right now at least once, be it over a member of the opposite (or same) sex, a friend, a family member, whatever. The important part is for you to not feel alone. As you said, this place is a big part of your life. Well you're a big part of this place too.

Even at age 19, I've felt like you're describing recently. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me in the worst way possible (pm me if you want the whole story). But I got through it by talking to my friends about it, and listening to what they had to say. No matter what happens, you'll always have friends by your side. It's the one constant in life, it would appear. If you think of these problems as little wars that you have to fight, than a quote comes to mind from the lips of Tupac himself that should fit this situation perfectly: "Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal"

You'll get through this, and you'll get through the next set of troubles too. And when you finally make it out the other side into adulthood, you'll look back and smile, knowing that while they had their ups and downs, these will be some of the best years of your life.

Don't even get me started.. some people around here know that I've been a walking blog lately. So.

Hormones ragin man, you'll pull through

Just remember that anger will cause mistakes and bad decisions and shit

thank you a lot for that and even for talking with me on AIM, but i still feel the same way i've seen, and i just dont think my friends are going to feel the same way I do for another few years, just because they always say they are more mature than me but I think the fact that i hav eactually been hanging out and talking to more teenagers and adults than they may ever have boosted me past their stages.. i just think if I tried to begin talking to them about it they would start mocking me

GravitonSurge: dude you're acting like you're the only person in the world with problems like this
GravitonSurge: half the people I know
GravitonSurge: are either wrecks
GravitonSurge: or recovering wrecks
GravitonSurge: including myself
GravitonSurge: and the other half is still pretending
GravitonSurge: at least the first half is starting to cope with it
: pretending is great when you are in the process of it
: but once you hit the point where you realize you are pretending
GravitonSurge: its like drugs.
: you cant go back to it
: without knowing
GravitonSurge: it works for a while. but then at some point you realize it just isnt working anymore.
: without it being worst
GravitonSurge: and you can either keep focusing on it
GravitonSurge: and ruin your life
GravitonSurge: or do something else
GravitonSurge: most people do the first
GravitonSurge: I think you have to be strong to do the second

www.xanga.com

Eh chrome that was some inciteful shit, or wahtever i mean by that... I think im kinda fitting in now that I know more people feel like me or have been feeling like me.. i dont know if im gonna be going to school tomorrow

People arround your age tend to be immature. For the next few years, I wouldn't take such nonsense so seriously; if the stuff in chair tends to be a habbit, I would just make a habbit of looking at my seat before sitting down.

That's the pussy way out. Beat the shit out of that fucker that keeps putting stuff on your chair. There's nothing worse than sitting on a gatorade bottle; don't let it happen to you (Didn't happen to me. Saw it happen. Hilarity ensued).

Man, you guys are into life way too much. Don't overthink everything. That's what I used to do constantly. Every time people said stuff or did stuff that involved me I thought about it from 4 different outlooks, it seemed like. Go with the fucking flow. Enjoy life. Don't worry about all this petty teenage shit; it's going to happen. The best thing you can do is just forget about it and go on with your day.

That's the pussy way out. Beat the shit out of that fucker that keeps putting stuff on your chair. There's nothing worse than sitting on a gatorade bottle; don't let it happen to you (Didn't happen to me. Saw it happen. Hilarity ensued). Man, you guys are into life way too much. Don't overthink everything. That's what I used to do constantly. Every time people said stuff or did stuff that involved me I thought about it from 4 different outlooks, it seemed like. Go with the fucking flow. Enjoy life. Don't worry about all this petty teenage shit; it's going to happen. The best thing you can do is just forget about it and go on with your day.

I agree with what Jizmo has said almost completely.

First of all, surprisingly, Grav gave me the best advice when it comes to women -- if they like you they will approach you themselves, otherwise, unless she's someone you plan on marrying, forget about it. If a girl approaches you, and you're interested in her as well, then everything is good. Otherwise, I've noticed I feel a lot better when I don't take shit so seriously. Just go with the flow, as Jizmo said. When you're indifferent to things, you're not depressed for the most part. Also, if alcoholism runs in your genes, I suggest drinking very responsibly, with limits, and following those limits, or not drinking at all, despite whatever everyone else is doing, because if it's in your genes then there's a better chance of it happening to you too.

Thanatos actually helped me sort something out today, so kudos for that. Mj, if you have a problem with a girl I'd recommend asking him for his opinion on the situation as well. Also, talk to me on AIM, I'd be interested in discussing things..

I'm not able to just ignore things and go with the flow anymore, I need to be able to analyze, over analyze, and look at things from different points of view.. it's my livelihood.

Yeah man. Its growing up. I know you said not to say this but hey truth is. You are only 13. Don't worry too much. I know its around the hardest age but whatever. Just go with the flow. Don't worry about shit. Shit happens right? And I know its hard to ignore some stuff. But im not telling you to ignore your feelings for her. If she says she likes you. Trust her. Relationships are built on trust and understanding.


Edit- Grav: I think I like this side of you better man. Taking shit seriously that is.

Edit- Grav: I think I like this side of you better man. Taking shit seriously that is.

Yeah, his post looks wierd when it's serious...


Anyway, yeah slaynish...they call me Daddy Swang.

Edit- Grav: I think I like this side of you better man. Taking shit seriously that is.

Sorry, I'm already interested in someone.

Haha, pr0xy shot down. This is probably the most unsarcastic, non-negative thread I've seen here at Zelaron for a while. Wow, we can act normal.

Anyway, Grav, you shouldn't over analyze things. It makes you think way too much into things when there's nothing to look into in the first place. Trust me with this. I used to be like this and I didn't have that much luck with girls and I had few friends. Now, it seems, everyone likes me and my success with the ladies has taken a rapid turnaround. Just my two cents..

Now that you're a teenager, you can begin the totally original practice of cutting your wrists. It takes away the pain!

Anyway, Grav, you shouldn't over analyze things. It makes you think way too much into things when there's nothing to look into in the first place. Trust me with this. I used to be like this and I didn't have that much luck with girls and I had few friends. Now, it seems, everyone likes me and my success with the ladies has taken a rapid turnaround. Just my two cents..

I've been finding the opposite to be true. I've tried it both ways, right now I prefer it like this.

Yeah i cant wait till im really old enough to 'cut my own wrist'!!!

btw

i just ate 15 orange gmmy bears

they

gave
me
the
biggest hard on
ive evverrrrr had..

Even more so than what Lauren said about the slutty girl with the pen?