Killing Humanity: Week 3

As promised, this issue of Killing Humanity is all about supermarkets, and the killing therein. Youre probably thinking "p1ng, shut the hell up and go away." But if I did that, who would you laugh at for being a dumbass? (*cough*Kuja's #1*cough*) Anyway, there are a good number of ways to be a hazard to yourself and others in a grocery store. Lets go with Kroger for demonstrational purposes.

1. Shove a pineapple in your ass
This ones seems to be a favorite of Titus's, and he seems to think it would be a good idea for me to try. To each his own, I suppose. Anyway, pineapples are big and kinda spikey, so youre gonna die of blood loss. Its probably painful as hell, but if your gonna die, what will you care? This isnt really a mass kill, but it is effective in its own way. If you want, you can shove a pineapple up someone elses ass.
Ease: 5/10
Only the Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! guy could easily accomplish this. Of course, it only takes a trip to the grocery store to try.
Effectiveness: 8/10
Massive blood loss in your ass = death
Entertainment: 0/10
No one wants to see your ass, despite what anyone says.

2. Display Cases
Nothing says style like knocking someone into a stack of cans. Not fatal, just funny. You could do something like stab them while theyre not looking, but its just nice sometimes to see cans go flying everywhere.
Ease: 10/10
Find and push. That simple!
Effectiveness: 1/10
A can might crash into their head or something, but other than that, none. The stabbing option is an almost garunteed kill though.
Entertainment: 9/10
Hilarious, especially with older people.

3. Kill Hobos with Shopping carts
This is a great ones. Not only do you help out the stores with their stolen shopping cart problem, you kill off the homeless. What a deal! Anyway, this isnt easy, since the hobos wont just waltz up and take one. They go in at night, doing the fandango. Hide behind the shopping carts with your weapon of choice. As they do their fucking hobo dance towards the shopping carts so they have something to put their empty cans in, and pull the trigger on said weapon of choice.
Ease: 7/10
If you can stay awake, its not to hard. But the odds of a hobo showing up at any particular store are slim.
Effectiveness: 9/10
Hobos are easy to kill, since theyre too busy asking for change to watch for assassins.
Entertainment: 8/10
Hobos are always fun to kill!

thats it for this week! Im off to whore youre favorite gaming based forums now, so Ill see you next week!

Haha...this stuff if so stupid but its funny

keep it coming...lol

that stuff is terrible... but its funny lol