A few things.
1)Run this through spell check. There are a few badly misspelled words in there.
2)"The parents find out, they're children are coming back indefenantly" Aside from some spelling errors and grammatical issues, that's a really clumsy line. "Their children are coming back indefinitely" suggests that their children
are coming back, they just don't know when. I'd say re-do that entire line.
3) Don't focus so much on exact rhymes. Your words can rhyme without haivng the
exact same sound. Here's an example from one of my songs. I'll highlight the rhyming parts.
Raziel said:
I've burrowed inside.
Guilt sublime.
You'll never defeat me, my blood is on your hands.
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Both of those words have the "eye" sound in them, but that's the only common thread they hold.
Raziel said:
The fallen great defender.
The immortal brother of my master.
Bow before eternal pain. Kneel, and surrender.
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All of those words have the "er" sound in them, but they're not exact rhymes. Exact rhymes would be words like "master", "plaster", "caster", "faster". Granted, "defender and "surrender" are exact rhymes, but they're spaced out by a non-exact rhyme.
Focus on not using exact rhymes, or just basing the rhyming portions of your piece on similar sounds, not mirrored words. Here are a few examples of lines I think you should change in this piece.
D3V said:
The begenning of the end is so near
All because of some insults, from a queer
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D3V said:
Its quiet inside the mind at night
The school is waiting, they'll all die tonight
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(you're rhyming "night" with "night")
D3V said:
Buying the guns, illegally bought
There will be a massacre where the school is taught
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All of those lines feel too restricted by your insistance on rhyming. It just feels like you're trying to say something more provoking, but you can't because there aren't any words you can think of that rhyme other than the ones you used. I say go back over this one and rethink it.