Dumb work stories

Meh, you don't know who I am. All you'll have is a name. There's got to be a few thousand Lenny's around, and even then, you'll need to know my real name.

!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!

It can't be that hard, surely?

There's various ways in which you can get my IP address, and then you just use some kind of tracking software and stalk, stalk, stalk!

ok i will do that.
and thanks for giving me the hind. lol

Not a problem. That's what I'm here for.

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OOoooh! A work story.

We get the big 40' containers in, which I've already said. And, of course, they're driven by hulking truck drivers. Now, when we've got a container leaving, and one waiting to take it's place, things can get hairy. And I'm not talking about the slippers.

Last time it happened, we had two truck drivers going at each other.

"Move the fackin' track mate!" (Sathaner)
"Oi'm closin't doors!!" (Yorkie)
"Ah don't caare! Ah gotta git this dahn be4 faur!"
"Piss off!"
"Fack you!"

We were all in hysterics on the loading bay. I nearly had them both on me when I said "It must be that time of the month again" a little bit too loudly.

I was making a pecan cluster blizzard today, and the guy came back 5 minutes after I gave it to him and said there were no pecans in it. I told him that candied pecans, when hit by a metal mixing spindle at max settings, basically shatter into tiny bits. He still did not understand. I told him I would give him pecans for no extra charge, and he started to get smart with me. Long story short, he yelled at me for a few minutes while I just smiled and told him to have a nice day. I was waiting for him to chuck the blizzard at me, at which point I would have called the cops on his old ass. It's too bad we were busy, my manager really wanted to deal with that (have his fun) but we were short-handed and in a big rush.

Being in construction I bet no one could understand my work stories...but I have one you guys MIGHT get.

I do a lot of dirt work construction (building pads so you can build buildings on them) and so forth. Well, I was building this pond (you dig a big hole, get rocks out of it, put something like plastic liner down, then fill it with water) well you have to pick out the rocks so the liner don't rip cause the water is a dangerous chemical and such can't get into ground water. Well, I get damn near done with this right...and I was getting ready to have a few days off cause I was done...There is an engineer on every job to make sure my guys and me do what we're suppose to (i.e. make sure all the rocks are out) we were done and he comes up "You need to rip up a 1000 sq. ft. section and repick all the rocks out, I'm shutting this down untill you do it" I had been working for ~1 month STRAIGHT no days off. I tells the guy "You got to be fucking kidding. You fucking signed off on it and said it was good to go. You said the pond looked good. My guys should not be punished cause you signed something off and now your panties got in a bind and you want us to pick that fucking section again. (yelling) THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY YOU'RE GIONG TO GET ALL THE ROCK OUT OF THE DIRT. WE'LL BE HERE FOR YEARS(/yellling)

He got all irate for some fucking reason and kicked me off the job =-\

Even if you go to college you can still be stupid GRRRRRRRRRR

Hey man, that's tough. It's life for yah. I see how some people can keep their cool all the time, but damn, it's pretty hard. I would be pissed off if I had been working 30 days straight, especially bruntwork.

God, since I started working at the Guest Service Desk at work I see all sorts of idiots come through. The main thing we do up there is returns and such, and usually it goes smoothly...but you have those few special cases where you feel like throttling the person.

A few months ago a lady came by with her Meijer Card Bill and a box of hair dye. Lucky me, because I was the one who got to help her, and it took an insanely long time to do so, and I was growing increasingly exasperated throughout it.

She pointed at her bill and asked me why there was a $25 late charge on her bill when she sent a money order down to Florida* on the day it was due. Conversation went (Somewhat, I don't remember exact wording anymore. You'll get the picture, though.) as follows:

Her: "Why did they charge me $25? I sent them the money."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure, ma'am. I'm sure if you call their help line you get hold of someone who can tell you why it's there."
"But I don't know the number."
"It's on the back of your credit card. Actually (I proceed to pull out a car application and point out the number for her), this is the number as well.
"Oh...But why did they charge me? I sent them the money the day it was due."
"I'm not sure. If I had to guess, I assume that the money order took more than a day to get to them. You'll have to call the number to be sure."
"But I sent them the money."
"...I know. You'll have to call them to see why the late fee is there, because I don't know why.
"Oh...Well, since I'm here, can I put some money on my bill?"
"Of course! Do you have your Meijer Card on you?"
"No, I just need to put $25 on it."
"Oh, actually, we can't do it unless we have your card to slide through our computer. It won't work otherwise."
"But I don't have it."
"You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I just want to put $25 on it."
"...You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I don't have it."
"I'm sorry, but the computers won't let you pay for the bill unless we have the card itself to slide through the machine. If you want to go home and get the card and come back with it, then you can pay the bill. We don't close the desk until 11pm."

By then she paused and just stared at her credit card bill, and I had the sneaking suspicion that she was going to ramble about her late fee again, so I snuck off to help another customer. Shanika, another of the service desk girls, and currently on maternity leave, was filling cigarettes at the moment and the woman asked her if she could trade her hair dye for a different color. Shanika told her that she could, but she had to return it first since the numbers on the barcode were different, and that she could repurchase the hair dye with the gift card she was going to give her. I was then told to go on my last break when I heard the woman say "But I just want a different color..."

I ran for it.

*We don't even have a Meijer down in Florida, much less a corporate building for customers to send their bills to.

Methinks your plan to overcharge customers and take their money for yourself has been rustled! Quick! To the Levi-athon!

What type of daft person sends the money ON the due date and expects it to arrive on the same day? The DUE DATE is the date it should get there, stupid moron.

Why not just get some kind of automated billing system that takes the money out of your bank account for you?

As my boss says: "The customers are fucking idiots."

That's a real quote, even.

Thank you, that was amusing.

Oh, on not-so busy days we like to have airsoft wars in the grill and drive-thru area. Either that or we stick M-80s into bananas or ice cream cones.