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Inability to let things go
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Posted 2008-12-11, 05:41 PM
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I have a huge problem that contributes to alot of psychological and relationship turmoil.
I don't know how to let things go.
I've had things happen to me in previous relationships that really hurt (Everyone has) and I've carried it on to my current relationship. My ex cheated on me, and now I'm always paranoid that my girlfriend is going to cheat on me. Though she's never done anything like that, the thought still wanders around in my mind.
Every time she goes out with her friends I get... I wouldn't say jealous but paranoid, almost terrified that she's going to talk to some guys, get hit on, flirt around, etc.
So that brings up the issue of trust. I have a hard time trusting her since I've been burned previously. I know every attractive girl will get hit on, but I have a hard time trusting her not to flirt back.
Back to the main point, if she does something wrong, even if it is extremely minor, I hold it against her for weeks, even months, and it stays in my mind at all times. I never forget it, I bring it up when its unnecessary, and it tears me apart inside.
I hate making her upset, and I hate worrying all the fuckin' time. How do you guys let go of things and come to terms with them? How do you teach yourself to trust again?
One last thing, Can someone help me identify this emotion from this description of physical symptoms? :
The feeling you get in your stomach when you are driving and go over a small hill. I get that feeling, though a lot more intensified, in my chest, in my lower back, my stomach and my thighs.
I want to say it's anxiety? Or maybe fear?
Any help guys, thanks a lot.
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