Trouble in da hood!

WARNING: Offensive language is in this, as it is directly based off of reallife. If u mad, then go an hero, lolollololol j/k

For the next three days or so, I will be keeping track of muh hood, cuz bad shit'z been goin' down, y'all.
The last week or so, houses have been broken into, as well as cars, and even gun shots monday. Just today, we got all call from our friend Jesse, and he told us his car had been broken into and gas had been stolen. We realized gas had been missing the last few days from our car, and come to believe it, gas became a common thing that has been stolen. Whatever pathetic dicknigger has to steal gas could really use a trip to my house. Anyways, steakouts are being arranged by both the residents of my house and Jesse.

Meanwhile!
Brandon and Noah, two close friends of mine, decide to hang out. They walk to Brandon's house after school, with intend of playing Lulz-e-oh, Guitar Queero and the new Gaylo game. While on their jolly little way, six wild Mankey's appeared and beat them up! Details unknown.
--Ring! Ring!--
The Priestess: It's for you [Skurai].
Skurai: Hello?
Brandon: [Skurai], how's it goin'...
Skurai: 'Sup.
Brandon: Me and Noah got jumped by six niggers.
Skurai: Cool stroy b--
Brandon: I'm not even joking.
Skurai: What, seriously?
Brandon: Like I said, six niggers came up and jumped us. Got my head stomped in a few times...
Skurai: A-are you okay...?
Brandon: My top and bottom lips were bleeding...
Skurai: ...
Brandon: We're having a few friends follow us in a van, next time, and they'll beat their asses if they try to jump us again.
Skurai: Mind if I come with you...?
Brandon: They'll probably run or somethin' when our other guys show up.
Skurai: ...That's not stopin' me.
(At that moment I toss a knife into my bookbag)
Brandon: ...
Noah: lol
Brandon: You comin' with us next time, then?
Skurai: Yeah.
Brandon: Bring your deck and stuff?
Skurai: Yeah.
Brandon: Alright... I'm gonna go, my heads kinda pounding.
Skurai: Alright cyeah...


Tune in, for the next episode of "This is seriously happening, no joke!"

Deck? Is that, like, "I summon Lvl. 6 Fire Dragon and cast Inferno!"? Or is it an American word to replace something that was perfectly good in the first place, like "knuckleduster"?

Fire Dragon.

Lol, we all made fan decks today. xD
Brandons is based around germany, mine is based around Kamen Rider. >_>




Update on Brandon/Noah incident:

Me and Noah met up in the morning. Brandon wasn't at school today. Somehow we managed to get on the topic (probably my fault).
Noah: Did you hear I was channeling Kick Ass the whole time?
("Channeling, as in shamanism or spiritual channeling. It's a joke from a few times I went nuts and was said to have been "Possessed by Red" or "Channeling Red")
Skurai: No, haha, I only heard about Brandon getting beat up.
Noah: Well, yeah, he always leaves out the part where I'm awesome.
Skurai: Right, so what happened?
Noah: We were walking, and this group of Mankeys were standing around and one of them went "You been talkin' about our guy?!" and I was like "Sometime I do." (A reference to our teacher who often responds with "Sometimes I do" when asked a similar question)
Skurai: Ahahahaha, serious?!!
Noah: Haha, yeah. Anyway, a few blocks later, the same guys pop up and three or them stand back, watching, while the other two go up to Brandon, and one of them hit him and he was like "Don't touch me there, that's my danger zone!" and they knocked him down and started kicking him in the face. I got in the way, and was like PAWNCH! and I got one guy on this side of my punching my face, one guy on the other side of me punching my face, and Brandon's still on the ground, acting like he's getting kicked, and I'm like "Brandon, you can get up and leave, this doesn't feel good".
Skurai: Hwwhat?? Huhuha...
Noah: Seriously, I just kinda stood there, it didn't even hurt that much. I had to do it like three times, it was like a boss battle, y'know, where you gotta take damage to do a certain thing to beat the boss, right?
Skurai: Right.
Noah: It was like that, they'd go over and knock him down and start kicking, I'd get in the way again, PAWNCH they'd punch me, then go after him again. The whole time I'm just standing straight up like "Brandon, get up, this doesn't feel good."
Skurai: Seriously?
Kyle: *was always there* Seriously?
Noah: Yeah, I got pictures. *He pulls out his phone to reveal Brandons face, which is red and looked to be bleeding. Noah's face, looked perfectly fine, other than his eye, which seemed a bit darker, but not a "Black" eye.*
Corey: *Arrives* What is it.
Noah: Me and Brandon got jumped by a flock of wild Mankeys.
Corey: Haha, let me see.
Noah: *Shows him the pictures*
Corey: Oh, shit......
Noah: Yeah, Kevin's just going to pic us up and take us to Brandon's house, today. (Kevin is the local racist)
Skurai: We're not having a bookbag inspection today, are we...?
Kyle: No, why...?
Skurai: I brought knives, just in case.
Kyle, Noah, Corey, Corey's friend: You brough knives!?
Skurai: Yeah, I got my boy scout knife, and my fancy Egyptian knife. The boy scout one has a hole in it, and you can do tricks and stuff, but the Egyptian one is sharper and easier to use.
Noah: You don't need them, since we're getting rides from now on.
Skurai: Not stopin' me, any.
---The conversation takes a turn for the Yu-gi-oh!, so I'll skip to first hour---

Nathan: ...? What're you drawing?
Skurai: Robert Reeves and Beowulf flying Kites. (Robert Reeves is the generic biker kid at our school. Knock for parties, by round, his leather jacket, and sunglasses at night time. He apparently loves to fly kites.)
Nathan: lolwut (he said it)?
Skurai: Didn't you hear about Brandon and Noah?
Nathan: Hahaha, no what'd they do?
Skurai: Dude, they got jumped!
Nathan: Whoa, seriously? What happened....?
Skurai: A buncha... ... niggers came out of nowhere and beat them up.
Nathan: Oh, shit.
Skurai: Yeah, Brandon didn't even come to school, today.
Nathan: When did this happen?
Skurai: Just yesterday, I guess.
Mr. Gobble: [Skurai], why don't you come up and show me what you got done, so far?
Skurai: Ah, I left mine at home... (lie)
Mr. Gobble: How far are you?
Skurai: Uhhh.... question 14 or somethin'. (lie)
Mr. Gobble: What section?
Skurai: I just got done with 2. (lie)
Mr. Gobble: ... alright, continue from 3 for today. Don't number, so you can just add them on, later.
Skurai: Alright... *Starts writing a fanfiction about a Mexican*
---Fourth Hour---
*I draw a picture of Noah in a Halo suit and write "Noah REACH" at the top*
---Seventh hour---
*All of Brandon's friends sign the picture of Beowulf and Robert flying kites, so we can give it to Brandon*
---In Kevin's Van---
Brandon: You promised me candy, Kevin.
Kevin: I'm gonna drive around an' try'n find the ones 'ho did it...
Skurai: So do you want the boy scout one of the Egyptian one?
Noah: The boy scout one looks dumb...
Skurai: It is, but I wanted something small.
Kevin: I got this. *Pulls out a metal cane*
Brandon: Guess what Matt's getting me.
Noah: What?
Brandon: Stardust Dragon!
Noah: Oh shit!
Skurai: Guess what I gave Matt the other day.
Brandon: What?
Skurai: Stardust Dragon. *trollface*
Noah: I love how there's like ten of them all following one white chick.
Brandon: That explains the baby.
Noah: Hahaha, what?
Skurai: Did you guys call the police?
Brandon: Yeah, my mom kept asking me what they looked like, and all I said was "Your everyday generic nigger". Because they were.
Noah: Hahaha, I think it all started because I said "Sometimes I do".
Brandon: Prob'ly.
Kevin: *Talking about the radio* This alice and chains?
Noah: I think so.
Skurai: Seriously? I could've sworn this was Billy Idol!
Brandon: There's those one peoples' house.
Noah: Oh yeah.
Brandon: They just walked out, after, "Hey aren't you the guys that just got beat up?" "Yeah, thanks for the help you fucking niggers!" I really fuckin' said that, too.
Noah: He did.
Skurai: Wow... it really is like Kick Ass: people will just watch and do nothing...
Brandon: Pretty fuckin' much.
Noah: Yeah.
Kevin: So many damn cops out today, none of the niggers'll come out. They ain't that dumb.
Brandon: They see Kevin driving around in a van, picking up high school kids, yeah the police are going to be on patrol.
Skurai: Mr. Davis, I need an adult!
Brandon: Where's my candy!? You promised me candy!
Noah: Hwahaha~

We later end up at Brandon's house. I play Super Smahs Bros. for the first time, and I find Peach and Lucario to be very fun to play as.
Memorible quotes at Brandon's house:
Brandon to Gabby (His eight-year-old sister): "How's it feel being in Kinderguarden... for the fourth time?"

Brandon's mom: "Gabby said [Skurai] is the one she likes, you other two are fat heads."
Noah: "What did I do to her!?"

Tristin (Brandon's brother): "Leave it to the furry to pic Lucario."

Me and Tristin, while making my deck:
Tristin: "You sure know alot about Kamen Rider."
Skurai: "Mmhm~"
Tristin: "I made a better card than all of yours combined. I call it Kamen-ER Rider!"

Brandon: "Wuchu wearin'?"
Brandon's mom: "Clothes."
Skurai: "Wuchu wearin', babe??"
Brandon's mom: "Clothes, damn, I just said that!
Skurai: "I thought you might tell me somethin' different!"


Also, Gabby spelled "It's over 9000" with a p. No wonder she's in Kinderguarden a fourth time. "P000".

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this.

It reads like a bad script to a comedy drama that might get a six episode run on BBC3 in the 10pm slot to see what the response is before the Director General offers the writer a BBC2 slot and more episodes, but the odd bit amuses me - "Where's my candy" and "Kamer-ER rider" in particular.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this. It reads like a bad script to a comedy drama that might get a six episode run on BBC3 in the 10pm slot to see what the response is before the Director General offers the writer a BBC2 slot and more episodes, but the odd bit amuses me - "Where's my candy" and "Kamer-ER rider" in particular.

I-I guess that's more than what some people can say about their lives... <_<'
I probably won't update much on the Noah/Brandon situation for a while, but the situation with the gas theives should be up, soon. Infact, I'm home alone, I'd better grab some pants and a knife.
Edit: I did end up adding a Kamen-ER Rider to my fanfic deck.

Not exactly related to "Trouble in da hood!", but it's me and my life, so I figured I'd put it here.

A friend in my math class, Serenity (Later miss-pronounced as "Serenechi" and shortened to "Chi") has been having premonitions for last two weeks. She's clearly not doing it for attention, because nobody but me and another girl who sits next to her gives a &@%$, and it doesn't seem like she's faking, since the premonitions seem completely... well... possible. No exaggerations, and she doesn't correct herself. (Considering I know alot about "doing it for attention" and fake powers, I'm sure I can trust her)
Today was a step forward for her, because she had been doing it all day (it happens randomly, inb4 That's So Raven) and once I saw her in class, she told me about it (I had yet to know about this, until that day, when she had one about me), we decided to try and force it, and it worked out.
Without further suspense...

Chi: *Sitting sideways in her desk, spaced out at space for the last two minutes*
Mr. Midiri: *Passes a paper down*
Girl infront of her: *Tries handing her the paper* ........
Nikki: *Turns to look at her*
Mr. Midiri: Serenity... Serenity!
Nikki: Serenity!
Skurai: *Doing work, he looks up, just in time to see her freak out*
Chi: !!!?? *Looks around* oh... damn, that shit hurts. *Passes the papers back, rubbing her eyebrow*
Skurai: Haha... what? *Continues work*
Chi: I been havin' these premonitions all damn day.
Nikki: It's true, it's really scary.
Skurai: Oh really?
Chi: That one was you, [Skurai].
Skurai: What happened?
Chi: I saw you.
Skurai: No, like what happened?
Chi: I dunno, it'll happen in the hallway and stuff.
Skurai: No, like, what happened to me.
Chi: It was just, stuff.
Skurai: Like what?
Chi: Okay, it was like, you, and I see through people's eyes, like, y'know what I mean, their point of view and shit?
Skurai: Yeah, I remember things from a weird point of view. Like, I'll see myself, in my memories.
Chi: Som'n like that, yeah. Anyways, you're like walkin' into this apartment complex, or somethin'--
(By this point, I'm a bit surprised, because I do plan on living in an apartment, after High School)
Chi: -- you walked into your apartment, and there's like, pictures and cameras everywhere--
(I have two digital cameras, and tend to take pictures of people I don't even know, for no real reason. inb4 "Where's that picture of yourself, you promised?" but the biggest part is, I never told anyyone my love for photography)
Skurai: What are they pictures of?
Chi: Just, everything...!
Skurai: Waaaaah~
Chi: You go over to your fridge and open it up, and there's some chinese, and you take it out and smell and you're like "Ew!" and throws it out, then you get some mac and cheese and your like "Mmmm!"--
(Considering she has no idea I'm in a food class, I'm surprised she knows I always check. Food born illnesses are serious bussiness, Zelaron.)
Skurai: Hahaha~
Chi: You sit down, and your dog's up on the couc--
Skurai: What kinda dog!?
Chi: Uh, it's, like a little dog.
Skurai: I mean, like, what kind, though???
Chi: It's like a puppy, it's brown.
Skurai: What're it's ears like??
(At this point, I'm totally wishing for a Corgi)
Chi: They're down.
(Awww... :/)
Skurai: Oh, okay.
Chi: Anyways, you're like "You stink!". Haha~
Skurai: Haha, what??


We continue our work, before the subject comes back up.

Chi: I wonder if I can, like, force it. *She turns back to me*
Skurai: Hm? Oh, yeah.
Chi: Let's try it...
Skurai: How does it normally work?
Chi: I usually just like, look at someone, and get stuck looking at them, and then I blank out and see it.
Skurai: Alright, so just stare at me.
Chi: Alright...
Skurai: *continues working*
Chi: Let me see your eyes...
Skurai: Oh. *stares*
Chi: *stares*
(...)
Chi: Fuuuuuuck~ *Rubs head*
Skurai: Ow... *ends up rubbing his head, as well*
(I didn't notice, or point it out, until later, but both of us had been rubbing opposite eyebrows...)
Chi: Hehe, you felt that too?
Skurai: Yeah... so what happened?
Chi: Umm... you where in a car with this blonde girl, and you drove past this guy, and you both started laughing-- (It was probably Rob Reeves) --and you drove up to McDonalds, and she was like "Wuchu want?" and you were like "A double cheeseburger!" and she's like "You want fries with that!?" and you were like "Yeah!"
Skurai: Oh, God, that does sound like me...
Chi: Anyways, she drops you off at your house, and she's all like "I'll call you." and you're like "Okay." and you walk up to your apartment, and walk in, sit down and start watching... Starwars? The fuck. And you finish your McDonalds watching Starwars, before you start talking to your dog again.
Skurai: What'd I say?
Chi: Like, a whole conversation, but it fades out.
Skurai: Oh... so who's that blonde chick?
Chi: I dunno, I guess she's like a girlfriend or something.
Skurai: ... I don't even like blonde chicks!
Chi: Well... she looks like that girl Andrew is dating? Y'know, the long haired guy who looks like Jesus.
Skurai: Yeah. (I'm probably giving off a bad vibe, considering I direct a massive amount of hate at Andrew. Even I'm not sure why...)
Chi: She looks sorta like her. She's like adverage height, like, taller than me, about your height. (Now that I think of it, that's about the height I like, is my own)
Skurai: Hmm... What are the pictures of?
Chi: Just... everything. Friends, trees, all sorts of... everything.
Skurai: Hnn...
Chi: ... I wonder if I can do it without looking at you.
Skurai: It probably requires it as a trigger.
Chi: ...Maybe I can do it, looking at your name, or something.
Skurai: *I move my paper so that she can see my name.*
Chi: *stares*
...
Chi: ... I got nothin'.

A while later, she tries to force it once more, with Nikki.

Chi: Nikki!
Nikki: ?? *Looks up from her work*
Chi: *stares*
Nikki: You're scaring me... *looks back to her work*
Chi: Let me see your eyes.
Nikki: Seriously, stop it! *looks right into her eyes*
Chi: *continues to stare*
Nikki: Stop it, stop it, stop! *looks away, but ends up looking back a moment later. This process continues*
Skurai: And so you keep looking back...
...
Chi: You're in that office again.
Nikki: I been in tha office all damn day...
Chi: You're walking, you walk into an elevator...
Skurai: I think I know where this is going.
Chi: Cody! he's got... like, kids.
Nikki: How many kids we got?
(It should be noted, she's a couple months pregnant, right now)
Chi: He hands you a lunch. It's a bag, it's lunch... and that's all I got.
Skurai: He's got the kids with him, he's giving you lunch... sounds like he's the girl.
Nikki:
Chi: Ooooo! That hurts like a bitch... *rubbing* (Oddly, Nikki's baby started to act up, just as she finished. It might be coincidence, but...)
Skurai: I wonder if you can do it, like, right now?
Chi: What?
Skurai: I mean, like, you see what's going on right now. Like, if I looked at you, you'd see me looking at you looking at yourself through me, in an infinate loop. Time paradox.
Chi: ... Fuuuuck, that hurts just thinking about it!
Skurai: Hahaha! Try and have one with Mr. Midiri.
Chi: ... I just had a really weird thought.
Nikki: What, is it what I think it is?
Chi: If I had one about Mr. Midiri having sex.
Nikki: I was thinking one about his dick. You'd get all excited in class.
Chi: Uhhhh~ ugly!
Skurai: Hahaha! Seriously, try Mr. Midiri...!
Chi: He won't hold still long enough. *stares*
Mr. Midiri: *Walks to the other side of the room, to help someone. Stays there for a good 4 seconds before going clear across the room again, for something else*
Chi: Fuckin' won't stay still...

And that's about it.
I later told Noah about this, at lunch.
Skurai: *Walks up beside Noah* Guess what I'm gonna be.
Noah: Uh--
Skurai: A photographer.
Noah: ...That's... creepy. *Gives me a curious look*
Skurai: This girl in my math class keeps having premonitions, and she told me alot.
Noah: What girl?
Skurai: That Chi girl.
Noah: Which one?? (Oddly, three girls go by Chi...)
Skurai: This one. *Shows he hand, which has "Chi loves me!!" written on it*
Noah: Oh, yeah.
Skurai: Yeah, I live in an apartment, and there's pictures all over, and I have a dog, and stuff.
Noah: That's... that actually really creepy, I can see that.
Skurai: I know, right?

and then we get off topic, the whole table plays rock/paper/scissors... uhh... bonus feature:

Table: One, two, three! *Most people pick rock, me and Noah scissors, and two others paper. We have our little "smash" "cut" "cover" thing, then I look to Noah and start to "cut" at his scissors with mine.
Noah: Oh yeah, you little fuck!? *cuts at mine*
Both: *Rapid cutting*
Skurai: OhmyGod, there's sparks everywhere!! It's like fucking Dragon Ball Z with scissors!
Briana: Bwahahahaha!!!!
Noah: Haha...
Skurai: ... wait, that's Bleach.
Noah: Ahahaha...!

I always have arguments with the guy I work with over whose turn it is to get more pallets, or move the boxes, and so on, so we use Rock Paper Scissors to settle things. I've had him in my back pocket for about seven weeks - he's incredibly easy to read. It's quite hilarious.

You actually seem like you'd get along with my group of friends. Mostly Noah, Seth and Brandon.