I thought of Slaynish when I first read this...

Teen Sentenced for Semen Salad Dressing By Associated Press 3 hours ago WHEATON, Ill. - A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria. DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients. Sheen called the prank "beyond stupid." "If you prove to me you're worthy of another chance, in two years, then I will give it to you," Sheen said. Castro pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in connection with the Dec. 6 incident. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch. Students reported Castro, and the senior was expelled from Wheaton North. There were no reported cases of illness following the incident. Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts. "I have no explanation for what I did," Castro said in court. "I felt bad after I did it." Harry Smith, Castro's attorney, noted that the teen already had been punished, including missing the end of his senior year and humiliating himself and his family. "It has not been without consequences," Smith said. Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. http://www.comcast.net/news/strange/...24/671870.html

I could see Slaynish freaking out and doing this to BK customers

ahahh

I could do that at school lol. not at bk tho probably

I live 6 miles from that town!!!!!!!!!! What an honor.

When we were talking about it at school, a slutty girl was saying how it's really nutritious for you. Just thought I'd mention that

Thats prettymessed up but its probably true.

Ahaha, what a slut.

Zesty italian?

It's not good for you, but it's not bad for you. It DOES contain a lot of protein, so it's Atkins friendly.

Google is my friend for laffs.

Hi Alice,

Today a girlfriend and I were discussing the nutritional value of sperm. While performing oral sex, if you swallow, I was told that it is very high in protein. However, I was also informed that it is very high in calories. This may seem like a weird question, but I would like to know what nutritional benefits are involved when "swallowing" and how many approximate calories are in a man's ejaculation? Thank you for your help in this matter.

P



Dear P,

A typical ejaculation fills up about one teaspoon; the actual amount is determined by a man's age (younger men usually make more semen), when he last ejaculated, and how long he's aroused before ejaculating, among other factors. Contrary to what you've heard, semen is not loaded with calories. Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm. Since sperm make up only about 1 percent of semen, what accounts for the other 99 percent? Well, its other ingredients include:

* Fructose sugar
* Water
* Ascorbic acid (a.k.a., vitamin C)
* Citric acid
* Enzymes
* Protein
* Phosphate and bicarbonate buffers (bases)
* Zinc

Can swallowing semen enrich a poor diet? Unless you're gulping gallons of it each day, it's no substitute for real nutritious cuisine.

I had no idea all that was in there.

I actually asked my freshman health teacher about that, just to be a smart ass. She said that it couldn't make you gain weight hahaha. One girl told me when i was pgt it make you not get strech marks, liar!

Kaneda paid that girl $100 to say that.

Not getting pregnant helps with stretch marks too.

Nah, i was just a freshman lol.

EDIT: But kaneda does give me most of his money