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Posted 2003-12-22, 05:58 PM
this is my first attempt to ever write. dont be too harsh.

It started when i met you,
when i fell for those eyes of blue.
It started when i had you,
when i felt love i never knew.
It started when i lost you,
when my anger grew
It start when i forgot you,
when my heart broke in two.
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Mydogisyourdog is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenMydogisyourdog is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
Mydogisyourdog
 



 
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Posted 2003-12-22, 06:08 PM in reply to Mydogisyourdog's post "it started"
WOW!!! thats impressive for first time!!! good job
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Hades-Knight is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
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Posted 2003-12-22, 11:52 PM in reply to Mydogisyourdog's post "it started"
yesh, gj. i don't know how to comment on poetry or anything, but gj.
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vec is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenvec is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
vec
 



 
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Posted 2003-12-23, 01:49 AM in reply to Mydogisyourdog's post "it started"
Always check poetry and literature for incorrect grammar and typos. Nevertheless, it's a rather good poem for being a first-time writer, although I personally think the broken heart theme has been outdone already.
"Stephen Wolfram is the creator of Mathematica and is widely regarded as the most important innovator in scientific and technical computing today." - Stephen Wolfram
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Chruser shouldn't have fed itChruser shouldn't have fed itChruser shouldn't have fed itChruser shouldn't have fed itChruser shouldn't have fed it
 
 
Chruser
 



 
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Posted 2003-12-23, 10:05 AM in reply to Mydogisyourdog's post "it started"
This was only your first time? I'm pleasantly suprised. It's a wonderful poem. Keep it up.
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Jessifer read his obituary with confusionJessifer read his obituary with confusionJessifer read his obituary with confusionJessifer read his obituary with confusion
 
 
Jessifer
 



 
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Posted 2003-12-26, 01:28 PM in reply to Mydogisyourdog's post "it started"
the obvious mood of this thread is correct.
Was pretty good for a first time poem
yet to write my first poem so your better off than me =)
gj
"Every harem has its eunuch" - Ridicule
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sheerx is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweensheerx is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
sheerx
 
 

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