There's a demon inside of me. Can I kill it?

That's badass.

You're on the road to love, my friend. Greatest feeling in the world. Let her love you back.

Indeed? That only begets more confusion. My grievance with love is its relative nature. There is no set rubric for determining the presence of love. It would be preferable to say "ah, my feelings register as 8.5, 8 is the threshold for love, so I am in love!"

All I know is that my feelings at this moment in time already are greater in magnitude than they were in any of my past relationships. And I used the word love in the past. Would you not say that if my affection is even greater than it was when I said 'I love you,' that I love her? Or perhaps both are premature. There is no way to say! How inane!

There is no logic with or in love. Love is all captured and fufilled with the other side of your brain. You can't turn love into an equation, there are too many variables.

well a recent relationship of mine ended badly ..... control of power in the relationship

You mean she tried to control the power of your perpetual energy device?

I've been reading some zen monk writings to cultivate the art of mindfulness, but I still need a lot of practice

How has this come along? I actually had a somewhat Anxiety attack about a week ago, thought I may be schizo or something, I don't know what was going on, but I feel better now and with the help of mindfulness I think a switch may have been flipped on how to manage myself, along with stress. Anyways, what are your thoughts and experiences on this?

It's like dieting. It has to be maintained and consciously pursued, otherwise you'll fall back into your old habits. If you can maintain the practice then it is very helpful.

You could always try Tea, Milk and Ramen. It's good for the arms.

I don't think so.

Me either, but orange juice is always nice.