Erection

Profile · Posted 2006-01-04, 09:13 PM

Today somebody else woke up, they did the same thing that they had done for a great majority of their life, same routine.
Of course there were some odditys about the whole thing, the vicodin was an unsuspected but welcomed, they went to luch, and then went home.
Then there was me, I was someplace completely different, lost in thought analayzing the situation, scoping out my means and formulating a plan.
Meanwhile my friend from before wondered if a real skullfucking was through the eye or the mouth. Depends on time of death I would presume, assuming that it was involved.
Everybody was thinking cryptic thoughs and running circles around him slowly driving him into a small pile of himself. College was done, for now, no job, no money. I stood out on the balcony of a friends apartment the ground caked with ice and packed down snow, the window of another lover around the corner begging to be broken. It got to me.
"What the fuck am I doing"
The thud of my knees hitting the ice took me half by suprise, I had no will for that.
"What the fuck am I doing"
The ciggerete fell from between my fingertips
"What the fuck am I doing"
It was the same for him, a physical fall a mental collapse, was it just the moment he trueley betrayed his concience. A man with so little physically can easily cheapen himself and vanish, you could feel it when he was in the room.
Somebody with the kind of mind that with no spoken word could portray every single thought going through his mind to the whole room, you feel the world around and how you came to be there all get pushed into you feel it get to you. His misery is now in your mind, your own friend can so quickly become your own worst enemy and you can just as quickly become youre own god.
I stood up.. I walked back in and never told anybody it had happend, ruin my own run of luck, it will never get to me, it will never get to me. I was strong enough, I took it all upon myself, just as long as nobody else knows.
Meanwhile my friend is by himself, youre sitting in band trying to conceal that bothersome erection, nothing of it. Maybe you can forget all about it and it will all go away.
I saw it happen he stared up into the moon this is of no importance. Then, he fell to his knees, and then on his hands too.
"the crazyness"
Time to run, not to run from the people but what the people will try to make you do before you leave, you have to run. If you dont run they will surround you and make you, its inevatable.
Get in the car... go.. he left, along the way he realized that not only was he not having sexual thoughts about childeren but that he was also not beating his wife, he was not going to the strip club and he was above all things not going to buy black cat fireworks 2 for 1 dollar.
He was rocked, he knew it, nothing made sence anymore, he had gone from one to another.
Meanwhile I am still here you can feel it.
Re-evaluate
Falsify'
let it