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Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women
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Posted 2008-11-14, 11:42 AM
I saw this add on facebook, and out of genuine curiosity I clicked on it to see how the internet would tell you how to pick up a chick. Some of it I agree with, some of it I think is complete bullshit, but that's from my personal experience.

I'll comment on what I disagree/agree with after I finish this project at work but I want to know what you're thoughts are. (Yes both guys and gals, it's good to hear both perspectives )

There was more at the end of this article but it was just him trying to sellout his "relationship books."

(His FREQUENT capital WORDS get somewhat ANNOYING at times ALSO.)

David DeAngelo said:

The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women—
And What To Do About It...


Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...

-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”


Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple...

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You"


What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission


In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here.

You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.

But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.

Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens...

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her


Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.

Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women


Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.

Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.

Another bad idea...

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women


Now I'm going to blow your mind...

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it.

It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Hey, I've been there myself.

Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...

About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.

It frustrated the hell out of me.

One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.

I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.

It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.

I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.

I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coasts of the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.

http://www.flirtadvice.com/1/
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Posted 2008-11-14, 11:50 AM in reply to -Spector-'s post "Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women"
I'd say that article is mostly common sense, and the writer is just trying to promote a book.














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Posted 2008-11-14, 03:57 PM in reply to D3V's post starting "I'd say that article is mostly common..."
There was a woman over his shoulder jiggling her boobs in his face with the promise of sex to make him type that.

Did he actually pay attention to what he was typing? Doubtful.
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Posted 2008-11-14, 05:04 PM in reply to -Spector-'s post "Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women"
I knew it was going to be an ad for some kind of self help book!!

Interesting, nonetheless.

On the subject, for some reason we managed to get onto this subject in the bar. One thing that the four girls on my corridor were in agreement on is that 'cheesy moves' are massive turnoffs - things like taking a girl to the cinema to see a scary film and ye olde yawn-stretch-cuddle routine.
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Posted 2008-11-15, 06:38 AM in reply to Lenny's post starting "I knew it was going to be an ad for..."
"Hey baby... I bet I can buy more than you can drink"














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Posted 2008-11-15, 09:12 AM in reply to D3V's post starting ""Hey baby... I bet I can buy more than..."
I have friends that would drink that kind of person poor.
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Posted 2008-11-15, 10:43 AM in reply to Jessifer's post starting "I have friends that would drink that..."
Like D3V said, most of those are common sense. It also really depends on the girl. Each one, imho, requires a unique operator's manual.
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Posted 2008-11-16, 09:41 PM in reply to HandOfHeaven's post starting "Like D3V said, most of those are common..."
HandOfHeaven said: [Goto]
Like D3V said, most of those are common sense. It also really depends on the girl. Each one, imho, requires a unique operator's manual.
Get an OEM one.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 06:45 AM in reply to -Spector-'s post starting "Get an OEM one."
that was really dumb. that guy said what people already knew, or he said alot of shit that wasnt even true. he's probably 40 years old and living alone in his mother's basement.
When my time comes, I want to be burried face down. That way, anyone that doesn't like me, can kiss my ass!
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Posted 2008-11-17, 08:55 AM in reply to talentedhamster's post starting "that was really dumb. that guy said..."
Are you speaking from perspective? Are you actually a 40 year old living alone in your parents' basement? O_o
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Posted 2008-11-17, 08:57 AM in reply to talentedhamster's post starting "that was really dumb. that guy said..."
talentedhamster said: [Goto]
that was really dumb. that guy said what people already knew, or he said alot of shit that wasnt even true. he's probably 40 years old and living alone in his mother's basement.
Not everyone knows all of that. I'm guilty of 1 and 5, personally, and I know it's been a downfall in some of my relationships (including my most recent). I shall now start Operation Asshole.

Fuck off, bitches.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 08:59 AM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "Not everyone knows all of that. I'm..."
Operation Asshole has gotten more stupid ass girls talking to me than when I was a much nicer person.














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!King_Amazon!: I talked to him while he was getting raped
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Posted 2008-11-17, 09:08 AM in reply to D3V's post starting "Operation Asshole has gotten more..."
True dat. I was an asshole to chicks I had no interest in last summer and they were all over my nuts. But once I find a girl that's worthwhile I tend to be way too nice and apparently it turns them away. Guess I'll just be an asshole to every girl now, whether I like them or not.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 09:11 AM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "True dat. I was an asshole to chicks I..."
I've had success with Operation Asshole. Although my past two relationships have ended because of #1 and #5 comboing off of each other, I've recently found a girl who loves it.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 11:06 AM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "True dat. I was an asshole to chicks I..."
Feel free to skip down to "The Jerk," but I included all three types of men for completeness.


The Beta Male (or the Nice Guy)

When I was growing up, my mom, aunts, and other older ladies always told me that to get a girlfriend, I would need to be a nice guy. I’d need to constantly buy a girl flowers, give her gifts, and take her out to eat. “Wow,” I thought, “I’ll need to have a really great job so I can have all that money to spend!” And unfortunately, I internalized their advice. All through high school and college, I tried to be the nice guy, the one girls supposedly wanted. Girls would always say how much they appreciated what I did, but the most action I ever got was a kiss on a cheek. Then in college and beyond, the advice changed. All of a sudden it was common knowledge that to be successful with women, you needed to act like an asshole rather than a nice guy. I tried that advice out and found that when I acted like a jerk, some women responded to me more. However, I still didn’t get the success that I wanted. Though I did get to have my first sexual relationship, it was with a low self esteem head case. And I still had problems with so many girls preferring other guys to me. So I took a good, hard look at the guys who were successful with women, the ones who weren’t, and the ones in between, and I figured out that there are really three classes of men. And there’s definitely a pecking order as far as the women are concerned. At the bottom of the list are the nice guys, who make up the majority of the male population. The nice guy is a man who basically pleads for sex. He shows up at a woman’s doorstep with flowers, drives her to a fancy restaurant and buys her filet mignon with fine wine. Then, after he takes her home, he gets blue balls because she doesn’t even invite him in. And the hell of it is, he doesn’t learn from this—he’s back using the same tactics on the very next woman.

And you want to know what’s really ironic here? Believe it or not, women consider nice guys to be manipulative. It’s quite obvious to the woman why the nice guy buys her so many things. “They’re only after one thing!” is a common mantra that women repeat about nice guys. However, she thinks he might possibly have good relationship potential, so she may keep him on the backburner and eventually have sex with him. And boy does she make him wait a long time! Some women set three dates as the minimum, which is like winning the lottery for the nice guy, since many other women make guys wait months until they “get lucky.” And when sex does come, it’s a huge event and the woman makes a big deal about it. Hopefully the man doesn’t have a high sex drive, because he won’t be able to get sex whenever he wants. He’s going to have to accept it on her terms when she happens to be in the mood. So why don’t nice guys succeed? The problem with the nice guy is that not only do women consider him manipulative, they also see him as boring. The nice guy talks about logical things like foreign policy or how a car engine operates. Sometimes he brags about himself and how much money he makes, implying that he can buy things for the woman. “How lame,” she thinks. Engaging in logical conversation and trying to impress a woman with your smarts and earning potential is a mistake that 99% of guys make. It kills a woman's attraction for you because it communicates neediness and low value. If you weren't seeking her approval, you wouldn't be trying to impress her. If you instead were a man of high value (an alpha male), then she would be the one seeking your approval. The other problem of course is that women who are engaged in the mating ritual with a guy absolutely loathe logical conversation. It snaps her out of her trance. So refrain from talking about that article on Chinese trade policies you read in The Economist until you're hanging out with your male buddies. Don't misunderstand me, though. You should not pretend to be some kind of idiot around girls. In fact, women find it attractive when a guy is an expert in something. What you do, however, is make sure to talk about interesting things within your area of expertise, not mind-numbing things. In fact, something you should begin immediately, if you haven't done this already, is to become an expert in something. It doesn't matter what... real estate, rock music, South Park trivia, religion, history, etc.

A man who's an expert is automatically an alpha male in that area. Just make sure to captivate her with the knowledge you share. Don't bore her. (When sharing facts, ask yourself, "Would this information be on 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not' or would it be something a dull college professor would say?) Girls just wanna have fun, as the song goes, and the nice, boring guy ain't fun. Go to places where singles congregate and you can perform an interesting people watching exercise by checking out the couples that you see. If the girl looks bored or is constantly chatting on her cell phone, then she’s with her boyfriend. That’s because her boyfriend is a nice guy who isn’t playful with her and doesn’t excite her. If, on the other hand, she’s laughing and looks like she’s having a good time, then what you’re seeing is most likely a pick-up attempt by an alpha male. Notice, too, that the alpha male picking up a woman has an easy rapport with her. The two of them talk as if they’ve known each other for a long time. The problem with being the nice guy is the mindset that it springs from. A man supplicating to a woman is doing it out of insecurity and desperation for her approval and sexual attention. Want to lay hot chicks? Then keep this first and foremost in mind: The quickest and easiest way to kill any attraction a woman may be starting to feel for you is to feel insecure about yourself, or to be needy, or to seek approval. When you have the mindset of being desperate to please, you end up coming on too strong, too early. You become clingy. It’s like you’re begging. There’s an old saying about banks: they only want to loan you money when you’re loaded already. If you genuinely need the money, then you can forget it. [There is more to this but it's getting to be tl;dr.]


The Jerk (or the Asshole)

On a middle level, above the nice guy, is the asshole, or jerk. For the most part, assholes appeal to women more than nice guys because assholes aren’t boring. Though the asshole creates an emotional roller coaster of drama with his girlfriend, at least the girl is getting the emotional high points of the ride along with those low points. In other words, he may make her cry, but he also makes her giggle. And the uncertainty of which it’s going to be does create some excitement in her life. Here’s what you need to get about women: in order to be sexually turned on, women need to tune into their emotions instead of their logic. The nice guy makes the fatal mistake of appealing to their logic, whereas the one good thing the jerk does do is to appeal to a woman’s emotions. Jerks get laid because they get women turned on by being so persistent and then going for the lay. They are sexually aggressive, unlike the nice guys who are sexually passive. While the jerk creates negative emotions within women, at least they are still creating emotions, as opposed to the nice guy who bores women. However, it’s not all good for the jerks. The types of women who go for jerks are mainly head-cases who have low self-esteem, depression and other emotional issues. Such women often act weird and insecure when it comes to relationships, so they’re really not the kind of women a well-adjusted man would want to go for in any case. Though jerks get laid, I’m not suggesting that you be a jerk. The good news is that there is a higher level of men yet, whom I call the alpha males, who induce positive emotions within women with no real negatives.


The Alpha Male

In society, alpha males are the leaders; people look up to them. The alpha male is confident, socially powerful, outgoing, fun, a leader, secure in himself, has high self-esteem, and is a guy who has his shit together. He’s able to joke around with women and be playful. When a woman says something sarcastic, the beta male gets offended, while the alpha male laughs about it because he knows girls are like his silly little sisters. And when a woman later regrets her sarcasm, and learns it was really no big deal to the alpha male, she gives him big points for that. Many social interactions that we engage in have sub-currents of dominance and submission. Studies of social situations have shown that dominant people will mark their territory in various nonverbal ways, such as taking up space with their bodies, using a louder voice, controlling conversations, and using strong eye contact. People around the alpha male tend to get sucked into his reality because he’s interesting and makes them feel comfortable. The alpha male doesn’t feel possessive or jealous over woman because he isn’t needy. He also doesn’t smother women by putting them up on a pedestal. Because of this, he knows that any woman would be lucky to have him, so if any one particular woman doesn’t go for him, then that’s her loss, not his. In contrast, the beta male is nervous, has low social status, is typically a follower rather than a leader, usually feels secretly resentful of successful guys, has low self-esteem, and is clingy and desperate with women. True confession: I used to be beta. I was depressed and resentful. I wanted a girlfriend because I thought having one would make my life worth living. Once I got a girl and was able to have as much sex as I wanted, I thought, my life would become wonderful. It wasn’t until later that I learned that I had this exactly backwards. It wasn’t until I developed myself from within and had a life worth living that I starting attracting the awesome girlfriends who I’ve had over the years and the wonderful woman who I'm currently in a relationship with.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 01:33 PM in reply to Grav's post starting "Feel free to skip down to "The Jerk,"..."
operation asshole doesnt work either! if a girl doesnt like you she just wont like you, and dont use the excuse of being a nice guy or not as the reason
When my time comes, I want to be burried face down. That way, anyone that doesn't like me, can kiss my ass!
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Posted 2008-11-17, 01:57 PM in reply to talentedhamster's post starting "operation asshole doesnt work either! ..."
I'm telling you Operation Asshole does work. Didn't you have an asshole boyfriend for a loooooooooooong time? Point proven.
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Posted 2008-11-17, 02:16 PM in reply to talentedhamster's post starting "operation asshole doesnt work either! ..."
talentedhamster said: [Goto]
operation asshole doesnt work either! if a girl doesnt like you she just wont like you, and dont use the excuse of being a nice guy or not as the reason
My girlfriend of 2 years said one thing wrong with me was that I was always too nice to her, like she thought I may have been up to something because of it.














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!King_Amazon!: I talked to him while he was getting raped
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D3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidences
 
 
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Posted 2008-11-17, 08:00 PM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "I'm telling you Operation Asshole does..."
yea i did have an asshole boyfriend for a long time, because he didnt turn asshole til about halfway through the relationsip and i hate him, i refuse to talk to him
When my time comes, I want to be burried face down. That way, anyone that doesn't like me, can kiss my ass!
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talentedhamster seldom sees opportunities until they cease to betalentedhamster seldom sees opportunities until they cease to betalentedhamster seldom sees opportunities until they cease to betalentedhamster seldom sees opportunities until they cease to be
 
 
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Posted 2008-11-17, 09:08 PM in reply to talentedhamster's post starting "yea i did have an asshole boyfriend for..."
That's a good girl!
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Willkillforfood read his obituary with confusionWillkillforfood read his obituary with confusionWillkillforfood read his obituary with confusionWillkillforfood read his obituary with confusion
 
 
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