Are you lonely?

Nope, good parents, perfect girlfriend, and okay friends are enough for me.

lol.

One of my parents has died, my "perfect girlfriend" went insane and left me, and I have no friends.

an hero

an hero

Get a webcam.

May as well answer my own question. I would say that I am lonely, but not extremely. The place I live now is just pretty depressing. Most of the people are fake, and the ones that aren't all have a girlfriend/boyfriend so nobody really hangs out, unless it's a party, in which case I just smoke myself retarded. The problem is that I don't have a "best friend" here because everyone is so deeply ingrained in their friend cliques they've had since elementary school... so I am basically a part of each clique, but I don't have a specific spot in them, I just jump around to whichever one is most interesting at the time. So I have a lot of friends, just no best friend. I'm used to having a best friend or two wherever I go, but that's not the case here, so I feel somewhat discombobulated. I feed off the energies of the people around me, and I'm only getting small amounts from these people. It's not working out too well, because I'm used to more, so this isn't satisfying me. But since I get nothing by myself, I would still rather be around these people that give off small amounts.. but then I end up craving more, go into withdrawl, and keep repeating the cycle. I just want someone I can hang out with and talk to completely earnestly and without the chit chat bullshit. Just really honest discussion about whatever is on our minds. There was one guy that I hung out with a lot here, got into many meangingful conversations with him, but then he too got a girlfriend and we haven't hung out since.. heh. So I've been kind of empty since then. I just want to be important to someone, you know? I can't think of anyone around here that would be honestly distraught if I just went and died right now... maybe one person. I recently tried filling that gap with this girl I know, we became really close for a while. So I thought I made her happy, and that she'd be happy if we were in a relationship, so I asked her out. Apparently this fucked her mind, since she balked, said she didn't have time, and things became awkward. Three weeks later she got a new boyfriend.. so yeah. I think that since I suddenly cut off her source of comfortableness she turned to that guy for stability, since them getting together was pretty sudden and random. Actually, that was the theory of a friend of hers, but it somewhat makes sense. Had I known back then what I know now, I never would have caused this odd situation. I actually feel somewhat bad about it, since I think that one or the both of them are going to get hurt sometime in the future. Oh well, I'm probably looking too much into it. Since that didn't work, I tried just making a lot more friends. Basically now I have 3x as many friends who still give off small amounts of energy, heh. And here's the weird part: I find myself most comfortable around depressed people because I can cheer them up through my natural exuberance and they look up to me for it... so I get more back from them. When I'm around groups of happy people, I feel blocked out because there's no personal connection, and I tend to get depressed. That's why I smoke myself retarded at parties and such, heh. I'm sure if I had a girlfriend or a best friend at the party also, it wouldn't be a problem. Oh well, I'm fucked up.

It is always interesting reading my old posts...

Here's the conclusion, lol. Within a month of writing this I made a best friend and got a girlfriend. Still have both of them. So that's a win for me! Oh, and that girl and guy DID break up. She cheated on him.

It is always interesting reading my old posts... Here's the conclusion, lol. Within a month of writing this I made a best friend and got a girlfriend. Still have both of them. So that's a win for me! Oh, and that girl and guy DID break up. She cheated on him.

That's nice to hear.

Since someone mentioned "Yeah i have a few friends that are completely chained to a girl. It is kind of depressing because we cannot go out and have fun because he has to spend time with his girl friend" and you replied "That's how ALL my friends are,"

Now that you have a girlfriend, have you become one of those people who don't spend as much time with your friends due to a relationship?

right now im feeling pretty down after a girldfriend broke up with me and we've been together for 4 months and she said that y she dated me was to just get another person jealus :'(

That's nice to hear. Since someone mentioned "Yeah i have a few friends that are completely chained to a girl. It is kind of depressing because we cannot go out and have fun because he has to spend time with his girl friend" and you replied "That's how ALL my friends are," Now that you have a girlfriend, have you become one of those people who don't spend as much time with your friends due to a relationship?

No, I brought her into my friend group instead.

No. Great girlfriend, great friends, good job with cool people. I'm happy.

To a certain degree. I'd like a girlfriend, but more for company than anything else. Not necessarily for sex, not necessarily for a serious relationship. Just someone to have fun with. I won't have sex with a girl unless I've got some amount of emotional attachment to her. I'm not a douchebag that just sleeps with anything that walks through the door. On the other hand, I can't think of anything I'd be less interested in having right now than a 100% committed, serious-as-hell relationship. I've got too much other shit to worry about these days without throwing a needy girlfriend on top of the pile. However, I can currently do without. I've got enough people around me at all times, making it so that every spare second I can dig up for myself is like buried gold to me. I like being alone for a certain percentage of my day, and recently I haven't really been getting the amount of solitude I'm normally used to.

So, how's that hermit shell treating you Raziel?