American's guide to living in Britian.

Don't leave your home and you'll be alright.

Only if its with a splash of lemon.

I was watched cops, and they busted this one guy for having like a pound of marijuana in his car. He then said "Only in America..."

Do you think someone could pull that shit off in England? I would love hearing a bobbie yell and swear at a bloke.

http://www.everyonedoesit.com/cannab...nabis_laws.cfm

Really???

Do you guys want a little list of all the terms in here that make it funny???

Such as the goolies, the BSE beef, the Sinn Fein...I've just realised...no-one will know who Sinn Fein is...

Yes...wtf is a goollie?

Lmfao. You should edit it to Euros though. That is what they use now isn't it?

I went to london last year. Its an awesome city. That mind the gap is annoying though.

Edit: I think I like Ireland more hmm.

I'm pretty sure England still uses Pounds, not Euros.

England uses pounds.

I always fancy going to the chippie when I'm in England.

Yep...good old pounds...

Chippie......England is the only place where you can get proper chips...

In Europe, they don't do proper chips...they do fries...as do you Americans...

Europe doesn't have pies either! OMG!!

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So do you guys want a dictionary of terms etc??

Yah, that way we can be sure to get all the jokes hidden in there

So do you guys want a dictionary of terms etc??

Not in the least bit.

Yep...good old pounds... Chippie......England is the only place where you can get proper chips... In Europe, they don't do proper chips...they do fries...as do you Americans... Europe doesn't have pies either! OMG!! ---------- So do you guys want a dictionary of terms etc??

Pounds really? Hm... Thats odd.

Fish and chips <3

What's odd about pounds???

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Dictionary of hidden jokes.

MONEY

Goolies - another word for balls (thems that I apparently have only one of)
Quid - Word that IS used for a pound. Eg if you have 7 pounds, you have 7 Quid.

MAKING FRIENDS

Great Tosser - Tosser is an insult. Another word fro wanker.
Hold hands... - This makes you look gay.

CUSTOMS

I don't need to explain wank to anyone, do I???

We don;t have a siesta...

RELAXING

Cottaging - English gay men having sex in public toilets.
Urinals/Yer-i-nals - Name for things in mens toilet...you know, the bowls of sorts on the wall...
Mazola - A product made from corn oil. Probably used as some kind of lube...

FOOD AND WINE

BSE Beef - Beef from diseased cows (BSE = Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy or mad cow disease is a chronic, degenerative disorder affecting the central nervous system of cattle). Not safe to eat. A few years ago there was an outbreak, it was all in the news etc.
Custom dictates... is boss - Makes you look as if you have mad cow disease etc...
British wines - HA!
About the bill - Simple joke.

TRANSPORTATION

A taxi ride in London costs two pounds - Bollocks......
Bobby - Policeman. Get him to discipline the taxi guy for overcharging you and you'll be thrown in the clink!
Bus drivers stop only where there are busstop signs...obviously.
Thruppence - Thruppence is old money that was around in the time of the shilling. The heavy gold coins are pounds. They are about...1 and 3/4 dollars...
London tube - Chances are you'll get groped on the packed tubes...horrible thought...
Ladies do not travel free on the tube.
State-sponsored musicians - Hobos basically.
Gappe bats - he he he...what a load of rubbish.
Grab you hair and look at the ceiling - Makes you look like an idiot.

Btw...listen to the song...it's funny. Turn your speakers up to FULL volume, click the link, and wait for it to load, then watch it:

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1833

AIRPORTS

Sinn Fein - There is a terrorist group in Ireland called the IRA. They are responsible for countless bombings etc. They bomb wherever they can. If you search google for IRa and bombings then you will probably find loads. Sinn Fein is the political wing of the party. They are involved in many illegal acts etc...