Jeers to the following:
1) Too much fucking "shaky-cam" during the fight scenes. That works for something like Gladiator, where actually seeing each specific movement isn't crucial to enjoying the fight. In a movie where you've got two super-badass alien beasts beating the hell out of each other, you want to see every last second of that shit.
2) Not enough Alien on Predator action. The whole first fucking half of the movie was pointless, boring
retarded "plot". You know what, I don't give a fucking shit
why the Predators are fighting the aliens, I don't give a fuck
who they've got going on this expedition. It's a fucking monster battle movie, not a runner-up for an Oscar! Enough with the stupid-ass humans. They should have all been dead 20 minutes into the movie and the rest of it should have been non-stop Aliens on Predators.
3) Three fucking Predators? Two of them were dead in ten goddamned minutes! How many fucking Aliens did we see pouring out of that pyramid? Twenty?
Thirty? This should have been a fucking free-for-all, Predators out the ying-yang, and an army of Aliens. That would have been
significantly more entertaining.
In short: nobody gives a shit about the humans. They should have been there
solely as a quick and easy source of bodies to be torn up
and that's it. We shouldn't have had to watch 45 minutes of pointless bullshit leading up to the action. This was a goddamned monster battle movie, it should have focused more on the fucking battles.
Cheers to the following:
1) The monsters looked absolutely badass. The Aliens looked better than ever and the Predators were menacing as fuck.
2) What little bit of honest-to-God action there was in the movie was awesome. The actual visible portions of the action scenes were pretty damned cool. The Predators used all of their badass weaponry and the Aliens tore a whole hell of a lot of shit up.
I nearly shit myself with glee when that last Predator crammed his staff through the Queen Alien's skull at the end. Completely, absolutely badass. |
3) All of the "Ancient Backstory" portions were amazing. I loved all of the stuff about the Predators being worshipped as Gods. That last shot of the three Predators fighting off that
army of Aliens was one of the most staggeringly awesome things I've ever seen. I wish that there had been more of it.
All in all, I liked it, if for nothing else because I'm a huge fan of the Predator franchise and we haven't seen one of those nasty fuckers since the early 90's. I just hope to God that if (heh...
when) the sequel comes out, there will be a new director on board who will be willing to make a
true monster battle movie instead of Hollywood-poisoned crap. Had this movie been created with the sole purpose of showing us 90 minutes of nonstop Alien vs Predator carnage, I would have probably died via sheer uncontrollable joy. The fact is, this movie is getting lukewarm receptions because it's only half-good. The Aliens and Predators were awesome, everything else was terrible by comparison. Next time, cut out all the extra crap and just give us a damned battle.