Baby Jokes

If you are easily offended, I say sorry, but hey these jokes are funny. Besides, no one likes a whiner.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.


What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.


What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an AX.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a shovel.

What's red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.


I think they are funny. I am not saying you should go out and kill some babies, these jokes are just something that makes me laugh. Post you opinion here.