I have a problem.

Well, about 8 months or so ago my ex-fiance and I broke up. We had a child together, and at the time of the break up he was going back to Colorado to live with his family. I (stupidly) trusted him to take the child with him to allow his family to see the baby, since they had not seen him at all. Well, of course at this time he swore up and down that he still loved me and was going to do his best in CO to prove that and get a good job and build a life for us. He told me he didn't want to be with anyone else. He also swore to me that he would not keep Dante from myself and his brother Vincent.

Well, not two weeks into being back in CO, he is already with another girl, which is really no big deal, except he lied to me about not wanting to be with other people after I knew he did, and I openly gave him the option to explore.

Well, through this 8 months, I have seen my son a total of 4 hours, and probably talked to him maybe 4 times. This guy REFUSES to respond to my e-mails, call me, or in any way tell me anything. Since he moved into his own place and got a new number, he has only called me once and left his number private so I had no way to contact him.

The police there, even though my mom had custody, and the papers to prove it, refused to do a thing about it. I don't know what to do any more, because it seems even when I turn to the law for help, they just blow me off.

So, I was wondering if anyone had been through this kind of thing before, or knows anything about the matter so maybe I can find a way to solve this.

That's a shitty situation, Hun. Perhaps try contacting a lawyer.

That's a shitty situation, Hun. Perhaps try contacting a lawyer.

Yeah I did that, and the only thing he told me is that we could go to court, and maybe the judge would issue an emergency custody order. The only reason the judge would even be somewhat inclined to do so was because my mom had custody. Otherwise, I can only try to find the time to go to court up in CO, and hope that I get custody.

I am really trying to find a way also to avoid lawyers and courts. I have enough legal issues with my son here, and I would like to find a way to try and make this as painless as possible.

That's pretty rough for him to just give you the uber cold shoulder like that. You've only seen your son 4 hours out of the 8 months? Jesus fucking Ricky Christ, that guy sounds psychotic. Does he think you're a bad influence? Or is he just trying to be mean? That is just wrong in so many ways, you should be allowed to see the kid you gave birth to. And if your mom had custody, shouldn't she be able to do something about it?

Alright well your first problem is you named your kids Vincent and Dante.

Simple, if he does not have custody, file a kidnapping charge. What he's technically done is kidnapped the boy if he doesn't have custody of him.

Simple, if he does not have custody, file a kidnapping charge. What he's technically done is kidnapped the boy if he doesn't have custody of him.

Beat me to it.

He's obviously avoiding you and attempting to keep the child. It doesn't sound like he's going to be interested in compromise, so have your mother file a kidnapping charge and watch how open he becomes to talking when facing a standard 10-year prison sentence for kidnapping.

Alright well your first problem is you named your kids Vincent and Dante. Simple, if he does not have custody, file a kidnapping charge. What he's technically done is kidnapped the boy if he doesn't have custody of him.

Thats what i was thinking. If you have custody papers and he isnt allowing you to see them, then he is kidnapping your kids.

I am really trying to find a way also to avoid lawyers and courts. I have enough legal issues with my son here, and I would like to find a way to try and make this as painless as possible.

From what I can deduce from your situation it seems to me like you have little choice if you want your son back. I can understand that it is not what you want to do. Going through the courts makes broken bonds absolutely unmendable, and it is a hassle on everyone, however your babies' father seems to be a complete jackass. Your sons deserve a mother. In my opinion, you should do everything in your power to get them back. If they want to play hardball, play hardball.

Good luck to you.

From what I can deduce from your situation it seems to me like you have little choice if you want your son back. I can understand that it is not what you want to do. Going through the courts makes broken bonds absolutely unmendable, and it is a hassle on everyone, however your babies' father seems to be a complete jackass. Your sons deserve a mother. In my opinion, you should do everything in your power to get them back. If they want to play hardball, play hardball. Good luck to you.

Yeah unfortunately I will probably have to go to court. God I hate courts and our legal system. I guess that is all that is left that is in my power now. Oh well, I guess if that is what it is really going to come down to then so be it. My kids deserve a father as well, I know that, and I never had any intentions of keeping him away from his family, but you are right, they also deserve a mother, and that is why I have been trying to get him back. I was just hoping for a better way.

Thanks eveyone, for your support. I really appreciate it.

You seem more qualified to raise them, anyways. Who knows if he abuses them or not?

You poor thing! I hope everything gets resolved. The advice given is pretty sound on the forums.