Trouble in da hood!

WARNING: Offensive language is in this, as it is directly based off of reallife. If u mad, then go an hero, lolollololol j/k

For the next three days or so, I will be keeping track of muh hood, cuz bad shit'z been goin' down, y'all.
The last week or so, houses have been broken into, as well as cars, and even gun shots monday. Just today, we got all call from our friend Jesse, and he told us his car had been broken into and gas had been stolen. We realized gas had been missing the last few days from our car, and come to believe it, gas became a common thing that has been stolen. Whatever pathetic dicknigger has to steal gas could really use a trip to my house. Anyways, steakouts are being arranged by both the residents of my house and Jesse.

Meanwhile!
Brandon and Noah, two close friends of mine, decide to hang out. They walk to Brandon's house after school, with intend of playing Lulz-e-oh, Guitar Queero and the new Gaylo game. While on their jolly little way, six wild Mankey's appeared and beat them up! Details unknown.
--Ring! Ring!--
The Priestess: It's for you [Skurai].
Skurai: Hello?
Brandon: [Skurai], how's it goin'...
Skurai: 'Sup.
Brandon: Me and Noah got jumped by six niggers.
Skurai: Cool stroy b--
Brandon: I'm not even joking.
Skurai: What, seriously?
Brandon: Like I said, six niggers came up and jumped us. Got my head stomped in a few times...
Skurai: A-are you okay...?
Brandon: My top and bottom lips were bleeding...
Skurai: ...
Brandon: We're having a few friends follow us in a van, next time, and they'll beat their asses if they try to jump us again.
Skurai: Mind if I come with you...?
Brandon: They'll probably run or somethin' when our other guys show up.
Skurai: ...That's not stopin' me.
(At that moment I toss a knife into my bookbag)
Brandon: ...
Noah: lol
Brandon: You comin' with us next time, then?
Skurai: Yeah.
Brandon: Bring your deck and stuff?
Skurai: Yeah.
Brandon: Alright... I'm gonna go, my heads kinda pounding.
Skurai: Alright cyeah...


Tune in, for the next episode of "This is seriously happening, no joke!"