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Dear Testicles
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Posted 2009-12-05, 12:29 AM
I understand that, as of 1:21am -6 GMT on 12/5/09 in Lindale, Texas, it is currently 25 degrees. However, given the prime in which my twenty year old body is currently, going on strike is not a wise decision. I think, as a logical solution, you need to man up (or down, literally) and quit shrinking back like little babies. Cold is cold, yes, but, if you're unwilling to operate to maximum efficiency, especially on our date this evening, you may just grow to be full of yourselves until you explode. If you keep up this cycle of retracting and repressing you may just one day blow up on somebody and, as we all know, that can be a very messy situation.

Please consider this a formal request. If you need a little wiggle room, let me know and I'll make the necessary adjustments to my attire.

Sincerely yours,
Wesley.
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