On Suicidal Thoughts

These are just some of my random thoughts that I had when I read a reply from Surreal. He said something about having suicidial thoughts. Now, I appologize if this comes off as too harsh. And Surreal, this is no way directed at you but at anyone on this board who's had suicidal thoughts, myself included. Really, I've read too many things about having suicidal thoughts from you guys, and although I can sort of sympathize with you because I guess I've been through the same thing, I just wanted to throw in my 10 cents on this topic.

First off, why? I know every anti-suicide website says this, but believe it or not, there has to be someone out there who's going to be deeply hurt by your death. Hell, if nobody else, I'm sure there would be some people on Zelaron who'd be upset by it. When I was around eight years old, my mother had a growth on her lymph node. Everyone, doctors included, thought it was cancer. Doctor's said that she most probably had cancer. Obviously the whole family was devestated. It turns out we were one of the lucky ones. My mother didn't have cancer. Now, around a year ago, I was in the car with my mother, and was talking to her about the time-period. She told me that she cried to work every day. I asked her why. I thought it was because she was afraid of her own demise. She said at first she was a little sad about that. She said that she didn't want to die yet, but then she said what she thought about most was how me and my sister were going to look when we got to college. Now, I can't replicate the conversation with my mother, but it was a life-changing conversation. Back then I was having a pretty turbulent time with my parents, and yes, even at 12 you have monster fights with your parents. But that conversation put everything into a different perspective for me. I used to think that my parents wouldn't give a damn about what happend to me. That conversation made me realize how stupid I was to even think like that. It's just dumb. Maybe you're not as lucky as me, and you're parents aren't as great as mine, but I swear to god that there is at least one person who will give a damn if you die. You could ruin their life. Taking your own life is selfish.

Secondly, what's bad enough to make you take your own life? Suppose you're correct on god. Now, if you commit suicide, you spend the rest of eternity in the pitts of hell. If I'm right, you just die. You waste away the one chance you have because of something that would seem very stupid in retrospect. Why would you let something stupid like some bitch (yes, if she makes you feel suicidal then that's what you call her) make you feel like that? You have to be better than that. Plus, you're young, and it's ignorant to think that you're going to feel like that about her forever. Why let somebody else have such a negative effect on your life? Only you are in control of your life. Leave it at that. You, and perhaps your family, know what's best for you, nobody else.

I've also heard about people feeling suicidial over grades. Now, perhaps your parents are the type who excessively care about grades, but you have to realize that grades are nothing but a number. You get out what you put in. That's it. I honestly don't believe it is an accurate measure of your intellect, of anything else of that matter. It's simply the best system that we have thus far to make sure we are learning. Now, as I said before, grades are nothing but a number. Do you really want to kill yourself over something that superficial? Even though your whole life revolves around it right now, they'll get better. In fact, if it's that bad, why not put in some more effore instead of moping around. I swear to god that has to be a better alternative to suicide.

Now, bullies are a whole 'nother story. Those kids are just dumb. Seriously, they have nothing better to do than make fun of how you dress, how you talk, your culture, or some other superficial things like that. They have nothing better to do. They have no life. It's dumb to let them have any effect on you whatsoever. One thing you have to understand is that they can say whatever they want to say about you. It's obviously not going to influence any true friends that you have, and if you don't let it get to you then bullies get nothing out of it. You win without having to do anything. When you get pissed off, on the other hand, it's more likely that they win. You have to keep your soul at ease, because once they get hold of that then they win. You can't let that happen. Don't give in to such childish behavior. Ignore it and move on. There are better things to do.

Now, I know that there are a huge list of things I could go into, but I don't have the most time on my hands right now. Still, there is one more thing I must address.

People who slice their wrists. If you slice your wrists, I have no sympathy for you whatsoever. If you slice your wrists, you're looking more for attention than anything else. If you're going to commit suicide, do it properly. None of this swallowing a bottle of Tylenol and throwing up shit, take a gun to your head and pull it. If you somehow survive that, then I'll have sympathy for you, but otherwise you're just looking for an excuse to get attention, and I could give a damn less.

Those of you who are feeling sucidial, feel free to share. It's best hearing and discussing. Others here should probably be kind to the person who feels that depressed, because really we've all been through a low point in out life at some point or the other, and we really don't need anyone belittling us for it. Only thing you shouldn't share with me if you're suicidal is about you slicing your wrists, because I swear upon the name of Thy Holy Mother I will rip you to shreds. That's annoying, but otherwise feel free to share. Those are just my random thoughts on the matter.