My weekend.

So, it's Thursday in Improv Theater class, right? We're all getting ready to leave class, and the Easter break starts that day, so, yeah. My friend Cody invites everyone over to his place Friday, so we can practice some, since we won't be seeing each other all week (we've developed a sort of kinship, all of us), and most people are like "sure, if we can make it" and all that.

Me and a girl August are the first two to show up, and we hang out in his apartment (which is a pretty bad ass place, with Christmas lights as the main source of lighting, and lots of Asian themed items[he is a Douist]). Then Heidi and one of her friends shows up, and Cody pulls out the Marijuana (they knew I was Straight Edge, I knew they did Marijuana, and it was all cool), and Heidi, Cody and August all took a few hits. Then they break out the booz (I wasn't expecting this, somehow), and all four of them get some drinks.
However, nobody drank nearly as much as August.

So August starts groping Heidi's friend's tits, while calling her a beautiful person. The other three of us are having a conversation, and kind of ignoring her. And then August starts going form person to person. I remember she laid down, resting her head on my lap, so I started petting her.

"You remind me of my mother when she used to get drunk on New Years."

"That's cute." And I smiled. My mother was a fun drunk. Just silly enough to have fun, but never smashed, like how August seemed. The girl was silly and fun...

Skip forward a good 20 minutes, and August is sitting on my lap, trying to kiss me, but being the faithful boyfriend I am, I move my head away, and politely tell her I have a boyfriend.

"I'm drunk, what do you care?" she says. "I won't remember any of this." She bites my ear.

"Ow!~ Ow ow! What're you doing!?"

She eventually got bored and moved to someone else, and pretty much got the same general reactions. Eventually she came back to me, even more fucked up than before. She takes off my glasses.

"You know you're cuter than I thought..."

"That's just the alcohol talking." I say, embarrassed.

"You think you can pick me up?"

"Well yeah, that'd be easy." I said, since she was really barely two thirds my height, and very thin.

So I lift her up, and hold her, and she tries once more to kiss me(my arms were no longer able to keep her away, so I just moved my head way more, to avoid it).

"You ARE good..." she said, before climbing back down. Skip forward about another hour, and she's on the group with her shirt off, yelling that she hadn't had sex since July.

"Oh... that does suck" Heidi said, looking to me.
In the end, the girl ends up biting my leg, trying to trigger some masochism I might have hidden. Of course, this just results in my squealing like a little girl and asking her what the Hell she was doing. So Cody, being the very very kind man he is, decides to make out with her, to keep her from ruining the party.

"Bad August! We do not bite!" he ends up saying. To finally get the girls mind of sex entirely, Heidi lied, announcing she was pregnant. August (being a girl) freaked out and got all happy, getting off of Cody and running over to talk to Heidi about her baby and all that.
Skip ahead about an hour more, and Cody ends up taking August to his bedroom with a very annoyed look on his face (the girl just wouldn't stop molesting everyone). Being that just about everyone who wasn't fucking was a totally gossip, we all pushed up against the door to listen. Some bed squeaking, some of August wanting it "faster", and then Cody yelling "OW!" and the two start arguing intensely.

We hear one of them get up, and we all scatter, heading back to the living room. August heads to the bathroom to throw up, and Cody invites us into his room. He shows us his collection of books, and we all talk school work and the like. Them, after throwing up for a good fifteen minutes, August returns, and falls down on Cody's bed.

"Heidi... are you really pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"REALLY?"

"Yeah!"

"Like really, rea-"

"YES!"

"Don't get an abortion... I got an abortion and I... *cries* I regret it! Don't do it! Don't ever do it!" and she continues to spend the rest of that night barfing and crying. Me and Cody have a seat together.
"So... how are you?"

"I'm... surviving." he says, to which I laugh and clap like a monkey (I had been laughing and clapping that entire night, as this was fucking hilarious beyond civil response).

"So, I'm sure you've found out a lot of things about everyone tonight... some things you didn't need to. What about you?" he asked me.

And so we talk philosophy a bit, and we agree on some things. Heidi eventually comes out, after a long while of comforting Barfy McAbortion, and tells Cody that he "owes her". We all agree to never EVER bring booz around August again.

So ended my Friday night. Saturday night, coming up next.