Sister and her Ex.

So, my sister was in a relationship with a guy who was (and still is, mind you) incredibly emotionally attatched to her. From the family's point of view, it's rather weird...and almost frightening. He's almost...stalker-like in his actions. From the beginning all they ever did over the phone was argue, which was a big hint in my eyes that it would never work out. On the other hand though, they do honestly enjoy hanging out with each other.

He seems to have the mindset that he and she still have a chance to be together, even though she knows that she feels nothing for him.

So I've decided to take it upon myself to write him a letter, letting him know gently to back off, and to try to give him a glimpse of what she's going through. Below is what I have written so far. Before I send it however, I would like a male view of this situation. Perhaps anything else that should be added to the letter?

All comments (even negative, I don't mind) would be greatly appreciated.

-----

Any normal girl will jump into a relationship if she believes that there's a chance that it'll be "the real thing," even if she doesn't feel an initial spark. This is especially true when the guy she's in a relationship with in reality is a great guy when she hangs out with him. However, if things progress too quickly in her mind, even she will be frightened away, just as most stereotypical men would be if the roles were reversed. The thought of a lifetime together is a wonderful thing, but not when you're made to believe it will be right off the get-go.

Girls know that guys aren't perfect, yet every girl wants the perfect man. Yes, when put like that it's a conundrum, an impossible goal, but most flaws we can live with if we truly know that we love the man we're with. On the other hand though, if there are things that she cannot get past, such as extreme emotional attachment towards her when she's not used to it, when she knows that she's normally the one whom is attached, it can open her eyes to the problems with all of her past relationships. Sometimes it takes someone who's exactly like her to make her realize what she needs to change with herself. In the end, if she feels that she can not be with someone who's exactly like her, if she feels that there's no hope for a relationship, then it would be a waste of energy to continue to go after her.

Just because she doesn't love you, doesn't mean you can't still be friends, though in some cases it may be wise to limit contact with each other. Nor does that mean that no one will ever love you for who you are, because there are girls who can love an emotionally attached man. If you are this guy, there is nothing to gain but heartache in pursuing a love that never was and never will be.

Hmm I'd tell him this:

Dear _____

Grow some balls and be a man, this bitch does not want you in her life so dont waste your time, you can do better!

-Jessifer

If the guy is really that emotionally attatched to her. He would let himself believe there is a chance to get back together, and whatever other people do or say won't matter to him. So, even if you send that letter, I would assume that he would just tell you, it is non of your business and continue bother your sister. The only thing that can help is time, this is coming from personal experience.

As time goes by, the guy should cool off and forget about your sister. For me it took about a year, and my case is more like phycial attatach rather than emotional.

How long has it been off for? If its more then a few months, then the guy needs help. If it was recent, just let time take its effect. That or hire a stripper for him to move onto.

I feel madly in love with the stripper that gave me my first lapdance.

For about a week.

A+ Well done Mr. Hades Knight.

B- Your paper did not articulate well a central theme. Ms. Jessifer please see me after class to "discuss" your grade.

And of course:
The message you have entered does not contain significant content. Repeated bullshit posts will result in a ban.

Hah. Ya'll so funny.

I had my sister read it last night, and she said it described how she was feeling perfectly. She said she wanted to give the letter to him herself.

And I can only stand back and watch for so long before I must step in and say something. She's my baby sister for heavens sake, and she's still naive as all hell. From day one he had them both sleeping in the same bed when she stayed over at his place. He has such a short fuse that sometimes I worry something bad may happen to her, and I honestly don't know how I would take it if it ended with some sort of abuse.

That is how all guys are. Since your sister is naive as hell, teach her something. Tell her to ignore that guy 100%, don't even let him think for 1 second that he still have a chance with your sister.

Give him a David Deangelo ebook or something...

She told him they have no chance of ever being together again. He hung up on her, and then went bawling to his best friend, apparently. That's what I gather from the little "chat" I had with said friend at around 2 in the morning last night.

I swear.. My posts are fucking disappearing. I thought I posted in here.

I swear.. My posts are fucking disappearing. I thought I posted in here.

Yup, you're definitely slackin'

I swear.. My posts are fucking disappearing. I thought I posted in here.

Stop spamming everywhere. This is exactly the type of thing people have been complaining about lately.

Well written, Jess. Gets the point across without tearing his heart out and making him all defensive.