Feeling like a fuck up

I feel like I've fucked up a good relationship. It may be because I couldn't leave a subject alone, because I wanted to be a bit selfish and keep him to myself (not like obsessive, but I'll elaborate later), or perhaps because I just wanted to fuck it up...though the last would make no sense.

John and I have had a lot of things come up and we worked through them. But now I want to know who does he want to be with more: me or an old flame of his. He wants both. I gave up and finally told him to do a three-way relationship. Now he doesn't want that because he thinks it ruins my life. I know it doesn't, it's just different for me.

Next thing brought up: he wanted an open relationship. After much asking about it, I finally gave in. I decided that if someone gave up a marriage for me, I can afford to give up something like this. But that doesn't mean I don't feel weird about it. I can't do much. But I complained in a silent way.

He's feeling unsure, angry, and hurt...the same as me. I don't know what to do at all. I don't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose me. Any suggestions, cheerful phrases...optimism?

it sounds like u are doing so much for him and getting nothing in return. If u talk to him and find out what he really is thinking, it might help the relationship. It sould be mutual not one sided. Good luck and the forum is here for u

It ended. Nothing more or less to say

Wait so in between the time you posted this thread, and the time gruesome posted you two seperated?
Anyways your both guys. Theres the problem. Of course he wants an "open" relationship, but hes probably just thinking open for him. Im sure he would get upset if you were like Ya, so Im going out on a date tonight with Terry, and his girlfriend. Then afterwards we're all going to take X and fuck like rabbits all night.
The only way you can have a serious, nonpainfull relationship is through commitment, trust and all that other crap. So either don't invest emotions and be open. Or put yourself into the relationship and let your feelings be there.

[QUOTE=Kaneda]Wait so in between the time you posted this thread, and the time gruesome posted you two seperated?QUOTE]

yea that was fast

It doesn't sound like he's very considerate of your feelings in those cases. In fact, it sounds more like he has a bit more maturing to do himself. And though being in a relationship means that sometimes you have to make sacrifices, what he wants just seems like too much, IMO. Besides that, it has to go both ways. He needs to be able to make sacrifices, too. Otherwise, it's not fair to you.

Don't let it get to you too much, but at least try to remain friends. In the end it may all be for the best. :T