How do you tell...

how do you tell somebody that you have fallen for them, when you know it cannot happen? Here is my situation:

I was apart of a group consisting of 5 guys and 9 girls. I ended up finding one of my friends interesting so i started dating her. We went out for about 4 months before i found out that she cheated on me over the summer. She failed to mention it to people that she cheated becuase she didnt want to look a certain way apparently. It hurts cause you think that you arent good enough for somebody so they need someone else. Now, im not he type of guy that goes around and tells poeple why my relationships don't work so i never told anybody about her cheating. First semester of sophmore year i hook up with a few different people, but nothing to serious just because i haven't found anybody interesting enough to be my girl friend. I pretty much drop that group of friends because i just cant be near her and since she never told anybody, they seemed to believe that she was right int he situation.
So second semester starts and i met this girl who is into me. I think i like her so we chill acouple of times and hook up. I start hanging out with my old group of friends from last year, which includes my ex, and finally feel that i am ready for a relationship again. I realize now that my friends care about me so thats why i kinda go back. It doesnt take long, but i start to have feelings for this one girl. Its not like we know each other amazingly, but i just cant seem to stop thinking about her. Shes hot (the hottest girl in this group), smart, funny and a real caring individual. It turns out that her and her boy friend broke up and i was there to help her through it, cause i had just recently gone through it.
The question im asking is this. My group of friends are very protective and i feel that if i were to tell Jenna how i feel, that the group wont let it happen a) becuase they see how me and my ex act aroudn each other, b) they dont want to see the group break up, c) cause half of these girls would think that this was not a healthy relationhship. Ive tried to ignore my feelings becuase for some weird reason, i dont think it would work out. But as you all now, the heart wnats what the heart wants.

Now, i know all of you are going to tell me to tell everyone about my ex. Thats not going to happen just because i dont want that to get out there. But what should i do about Jenna. Should i just try and ignore it till it gets away or should i step up to the plate and try to do more.

I also think im afraid of rejection, so that plays alot on my mind.

I know what you mean. I'm in a similar position where I really like this girl...but I'm too afriad to tell her. Fear of rejection probably keeps me quiet, but so does being too shy.

What people have told me to do (which I refuse to do... ) is go out for the day with this girl. Maybe to Manchester, or a little cafe somewhere, and just tell her face to face, with no-one else around.

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. Try taking her out somewhere, maybe to the cinema, a little cafe somewhere, shopping down the local Shopping Centre. Both of you together, no-one else. Talk to her a bit, get to her know her, make her day enjoyable. A day together will really make a difference. And then, if you think you're ready, tell her that you like her. Maybe if you aren't ready ask her if she wants to do it again sometime. Then tell her the next time your together.

EDIT: I got close to telling this girl about a week or so ago...but I chickened out. She still really likes her old bf. They're back together even...4th time or something.

But anyway, I was contemplating asking the same question, just slightly different. You've beaten me to it! I'll have to wait a few months before being able to post it without being accused of copying or starting a thread that's already around.

Spending a day with a girl and then asking her out at the end of the day is stupid. What ever happened to anticipation? Man.

Thanks Lenny. Its something that i would like to do, but that i think my friends wont let. I mean i consider them my friends, but in the end, they just care for themselves. Ive learned to deal with that, because all you need is 2 best friends and the rest doesn't matter. I just hope i can get the opportunity to let her know how i feel without everyone making it into this huge drama. Drama is not good at all, if anybody knows what i mean.

how do you tell somebody that you have fallen for them, when you know it cannot happen? Here is my situation: I was apart of a group consisting of 5 guys and 9 girls. I ended up finding one of my friends interesting so i started dating her. We went out for about 4 months before i found out that she cheated on me over the summer. She failed to mention it to people that she cheated becuase she didnt want to look a certain way apparently. It hurts cause you think that you arent good enough for somebody so they need someone else. Now, im not he type of guy that goes around and tells poeple why my relationships don't work so i never told anybody about her cheating. First semester of sophmore year i hook up with a few different people, but nothing to serious just because i haven't found anybody interesting enough to be my girl friend. I pretty much drop that group of friends because i just cant be near her and since she never told anybody, they seemed to believe that she was right int he situation. So second semester starts and i met this girl who is into me. I think i like her so we chill acouple of times and hook up. I start hanging out with my old group of friends from last year, which includes my ex, and finally feel that i am ready for a relationship again. I realize now that my friends care about me so thats why i kinda go back. It doesnt take long, but i start to have feelings for this one girl. Its not like we know each other amazingly, but i just cant seem to stop thinking about her. Shes hot (the hottest girl in this group), smart, funny and a real caring individual. It turns out that her and her boy friend broke up and i was there to help her through it, cause i had just recently gone through it. The question im asking is this. My group of friends are very protective and i feel that if i were to tell Jenna how i feel, that the group wont let it happen a) becuase they see how me and my ex act aroudn each other, b) they dont want to see the group break up, c) cause half of these girls would think that this was not a healthy relationhship. Ive tried to ignore my feelings becuase for some weird reason, i dont think it would work out. But as you all now, the heart wnats what the heart wants. Now, i know all of you are going to tell me to tell everyone about my ex. Thats not going to happen just because i dont want that to get out there. But what should i do about Jenna. Should i just try and ignore it till it gets away or should i step up to the plate and try to do more. I also think im afraid of rejection, so that plays alot on my mind.

I don't think that your friends have the right to stop you from going out w/ the girl, even if it means breaking up the group. for them to think only of the group breaking and not one thought to your happiness w/ this girl is being selfish. if they really are your friends, then they will either let you go from the group and go w/ this girl(unless it really isn't a good relationship, but on the other hand, no one can truthfully knows if it is untill it breaks off) or they will give you help w/ your relationship w/ this girl. either way they shouldn't have the right to stop you unless it's wrong, which it seems that it is a good thing. lastly no one can make the decision for but you and that girl you're considering. not even your "friends"(i'm putting them in quotes because if they will act that way, then they don't deserve you) so make you choice and screw the others, they can think what they want. they don't, and I'll repeat it again, don't have a right to stop you from seeing this girl.. no one does......... btw how do you and your ex act around eachother?

btw how do you and your ex act around eachother?

Thanks for your input science. Im going to try and make it so my friends are not a factor. Its not going to be easy but ill do all that i can, even if it kills me.

Around my ex is actually very fun. I make sexual refrences to our past nonstop to piss her off and she makes fun of me cause i don't always speak proper english. Funny moment. The girl that i like had her 20th birthday 2 nights ago. i was the DD, not by choice, and ended up having to take 8 people in my BMW SUV. I was able to get 5 in the back seat, me and a passenger in the front and i had to take the last in the trunk. Well, guess who was in the trunk? ahhahaha

Thinking about it, yes, asking her out or telling her that first day is kinda stupid. I should've said go out for the day with her a few times, and then tell her,

Yea Lenny. How is that going by the way.

It isn't.

I might tell her sometime soon. Doubt I'll get round to it though.

Hear you on that. It seems with every new day, it gets harder and harder.

at least you're in that situation, a lot of ppl don't even get that lucky

Every new day brings more shyness. I managed to kick myself into wishing her Happy Birthday etc...and that was the only verbal contact we've had in months.

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at least you're in that situation, a lot of ppl don't even get that lucky

Stick at it my little man, and you can create the situation. Don't make it come to you, go to it.

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Decided on a course of action yet Gruesome?

Stick at it my little man, and you can create the situation. Don't make it come to you, go to it.

no offence but im probably bigger than you lenny, im almost 6 foot 2 inches. anyway, yeah i know, it's just that no one likes me that way. the last girl i told that i liked her gave me the "friend" speech and the one before that said we didn't have enough in common oh well. so much for that.

Decided on a course of action yet Gruesome?

Yea actually. I have looked at all possiblities and plan on telling her this weekend. Im going to muster up as much courage as i can and ask her out for lunch where we can talk in peace. Im going to explain to her that i have strong feelings for her, but that i just want to be there when she is down. If it doesnt work, then it doesnt work, but noone got ahead in this life by sitting back and just waiting.

How about you Lenny?

Erm...nothing.

I'm definitely not doing anything on Valentine's Day. School is very scary on Valentines.

I seem to live by the Philosophy that sitting back and not doing something gives you more time to plan.

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no offence but im probably bigger than you lenny, im almost 6 foot 2 inches.

I'm catching up! I'm about 4 inches behind you.

well then im about 2 inches away from Lenny

Taller or shorter?

In fact, here's a question. Do you go for the girls that are shorter than you, the same size, or taller than you?

Im smaller, im only 5'8".


I usually go after girls that are smaller then me, or that are my height. I rarely ever go after a girl thats taller then me, unless shes wearing heels that makes her taller then me. But it hasnt stopped me from hooking up with them in the past.

How about u?

Itsy Bitsy Bobbykins.

I'm the same. She's a couple of inches smaller than me, about your heightish. Can't really say anything more...not gone for any other girls.

Thats sweet dude. Hope it works out for ya.