That's the pussy way out. Beat the shit out of that fucker that keeps putting stuff on your chair. There's nothing worse than sitting on a gatorade bottle; don't let it happen to you (Didn't happen to me. Saw it happen. Hilarity ensued).

Man, you guys are into life way too much. Don't overthink everything. That's what I used to do constantly. Every time people said stuff or did stuff that involved me I thought about it from 4 different outlooks, it seemed like. Go with the fucking flow. Enjoy life. Don't worry about all this petty teenage shit; it's going to happen. The best thing you can do is just forget about it and go on with your day.