Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now,

Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.

Vanessa Kensington: Austin, I think I was paranoid about you and Alotta Fagina.
Austin Powers: No, you're right I nailed the bird.
Vanessa Kensington: Did you used protection ?
Austin Powers: Yeah, I had my 9mm with me.
Vanessa Kensington: No, I mean a condom.
Austin Powers: Only sailors wear condoms baby.
Vanessa Kensington: Not in the '90s Austin.
Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars go from port to port.

Scott Evil: I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.
Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily like his old man.

Paddy O'Brien: They're always after me lucky charms.

Austin Powers: Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!

Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, what do I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: Sea bass.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.

Austin Powers: That's not your mother, it's a man, baby!

Austin Powers: That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

Austin Powers: but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Austin Powers: Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Texan: Whoo! That is one crazy get-up, mister... Are you in the show?
Austin Powers: No, actually, I'm English.
Texan: Oh... sorry.

Dr. Evil: I demand the sum... OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS.

Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!

Austin Powers: Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.