Chuck Norris has a night light, but not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' round house kicks are so powerful, you can see them from space.

Chuck Norris once decided to sell his DNA so he pissed in a can and called it red bull.

If you hit Chuck Norris, time and space would collapse because if Chuck Norris was hit, it means nothing ever existed. Thus Chuck Norris can never be hit.

Moses didn't make the red sea part, Chuck Norris was just standing in the background.

And im done for now....

"why I've gotta be one of the cool kids just to walk by/
- without being tripped, thrown down on the ground and kicked/
Insulting me for no reason, I was treated like shit/
The teachers let it happen/
I've even seen some of them teachers laughing/
That's why I had a smile on my face when I started blastin/" - Ill Bill - The Anatomy of a School Shooting